Rhapsodic (The Bargainer, #1)

by Laura Thalassa

I traded my life for a love that was nothing more than shadows and smokescreens.

“Why are we even talking about me?” I ask, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. His gaze follows my hand. “Because sometimes you fascinate me.”

But eventually Eli would want me to make the change. Eli had already started bringing that up —that and … pups. Shifters were big family people. I’d be his wife, mother of his many children. I couldn’t just be Callie; I’d have to be his Callie. I’d have to come to heel, be subservient to him, as the rest of his pack was. I’d have to put the pack first before my needs. Or I could leave with Des. Des, who guarantees nothing. Des, who left me all those years ago only to come roaring back into my life. Des who doesn’t want to change me. Des, who’s offered me nothing but hope and heartache. Des, my friend. Des, my mystery.

“Haven’t you ever heard the expression ‘Don’t mix business with pleasure’?” A sly smile spreads across my face. “Aww, are you suggesting I’m pleasure?”

“Thank you for coming for me,” I say. I fear what would’ve happened if he hadn’t. “Cherub,” he says, his voice serious, “I will always come for you.”

“You have over three hundred favors to repay me. By the time we’re done, you will realize that Eli and all those other men were just a dissatisfying dream. That this, and only this, is real.”

“People like him were born to fear people like us,”

“He sees it all. Hears it all,” another boys adds. Ten points to Slytherin for the creepy answer.

Today is what I like to call a Hail Mary day. Because nothing short of a miracle can make me get out of this bed.

“You’re not going to stop living your life because some days are harder than others.”

If only what I liked about Des ended at that face. Then it might be easier to deny what I feel for him. But the thing is, the Bargainer saved my life months ago, and he’s continued to save it every day since. I like it that he’s fucked-up like me, that he’s wicked and sinful and makes no excuses for it. I like it that he doesn’t care that I might be a little wicked and sinful too.

I ignore the spark excitement that comes with that thought; my heart is obviously an idiot.

Callie, that you’ve never asked me: how I felt about our seven years apart.” The audacity! “That’s exactly what I’ve been asking you,” I say. “No, you’ve been trying to figure out why I left. Not how I felt.”

“How did you feel, leaving me?” I ask. He holds my gaze. “Like my soul was ripped in two.”

“And the seven years that followed?” I breathe. He stares at me, unwavering. “A nightmare.”

And now we’re afraid of each other. That’s what the two of us are. Afraid of hoping when all hope’s ever done is break us. Afraid of getting exactly what we want.

“Something you should know about fae,” he says over his shoulder, “the only time our wings come out is when we want to fight or fuck.”

“Do you want to know a truth of mine?” “Always,” I say, turning my head to better face him. He takes my hand and presses it against his chest. Beneath my palm I feel his heartbeat racing. My eyes move from his chest to his face. “It does that whenever I’m around you,” he says.

“Most of the time I forget that you’re a king,” I say. “I’m glad,” he says, coming in behind me. He braces his arms on the railing, caging me in. “I don’t want you to think of me as a king. I want you to think of me as a man.”

“For you, no less.”

Finally I understand why the Bargainer is so alluring to me. He’s seen Callie the victim, Callie the killer, Callie the broken girl who can barely keep her life together. He’s seen all this, and yet he’s still here,

“I am the scariest thing out here. And if anything tries to touch you, they will reckon with me.”

I didn’t fall for Des because he was handsome, or because he knew my secrets, but because he stuck around when I was least lovable. Because he was a man who didn’t try to take anything from me even when I lay next to him, but instead gave me peace and comfort. Because each one of those nights he saved me all over again, even if it was from myself.

“There is one instance when fairies are particularly fond of keeping their wings out and flashing them whenever they feel like it. Especially the males.” She just stops speaking. “Oh my God, your silence is killing me,” I say. “Temper, whatever it is, just say it.” “Fairies only do this with their betrotheds.”

“A fairy doesn’t show his wings to his betrothed.” He slides his hand behind my neck, his thumb stroking my skin. “A fairy shows them to his soulmate.”

Hell couldn’t give me a more wicked man; heaven couldn’t give me a more perfect moment.

“From flame to ashes, dawn to dusk, for the rest of our lives, be mine always, Desmond Flynn.”

“Callie, I love you. I’ve loved you from the beginning. And I will love you long after the last star dies. I will love you until the end of darkness itself.”

“And mountains may rise and fall, and the sun might wither away, and the sea claim the land and swallow the sky. But you will always be mine.” He runs his knuckles over my cheekbone. “And the stars might fall from the heavens, and night might cloak the earth, but until darkness dies, I will always be yours.”

Love is another sort of subtle magic. It can bring people together and tear lives apart. It can wash away sorrow, it can forgive. It can redeem.

“Cherub, people like us are not victims. We’re someone’s nightmare.”