Ramona Blue

by Julie Murphy

But some people, like Hattie, feel better after a good cry. When Hattie cries, it’s like watching a snake shed its skin. Tears somehow let her regenerate, whereas crying only makes me angry I cared so much to begin with.

I always love morning people. They feel solid and reliable.

Freddie massages his forehead, grimacing as he does. “You can’t pretend to be color-blind or some shit when it’s convenient for you, okay? I’m black. This is the skin I wear every damn day. You’re my best friend. You can’t tell me that you don’t see that my black life is not the same as your white life.” He closes his eyes for a moment and shakes his head, like he’s answering his own silent question. “Maybe you haven’t thought about things like this before, because you don’t have to. I get that. But when I tell you I’m uncomfortable, I need you to listen, okay? I know there’s stuff I don’t understand about the gay thing. But you need to understand that my life in this skin is different from yours.”

I’ll never figure out how it is that some people can work so hard and get paid so little, while so many people who are paid the most hardly work at all.

“Most gracious Lord, who numbered among your apostles the fishermen Peter, Andrew, James, and John, we pray you to consecrate this boat to righteous work in your name. Guide the captain at her helm. So prosper her voyages that an honest living may be made. Watch over her passengers and crew and bring them to a safe return. And the blessing of God Almighty, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit be upon this vessel and all who come aboard, this day and forever. Amen.” I close my eyes and let my head rest against Freddie’s shoulder. I’ve heard the words of this blessing enough times to know it by heart. But today is different. Today this blessing is mine, and I pray it over myself. I tattoo it to my heart. I am the fleet. I am the vessel. I am the captain. I stand here with my Wendy Darling as I prepare to do what Peter never could. Freddie takes my hand and pulls it to his lips as he kisses each of my knuckles. We sway back and forth until our rhythm is one with the ocean. May my voyage be prosperous and my return safe.