One suggestion was to ask the client: “Are you unsafe, or are you instead uncomfortable, angry, or hurt?”
again, I'm really struggling with this as a response that could be demeaning and get in the way of dealing with the actual issue (whether abuse or conflict) -- but then I guess Schulman's argument is probably that the feelings are valid but overstatement and inferring harm (from the questioner/social worker through something like this line of questioning) is not -- so rather than "how dare you diminish what I'm coming to you for help for," the response should be being more open and communicating more to/for the professional? seems kind of elitist, but then again, I guess if you're dealing with a professional it's more a matter of them being able to fulfill that role in a way that is empathetic, etc, rather than just presenting themselves as an arbiter of "real" abuse and unsuccessfully managed conflict, etc...
