The Comprehensive INFP Survival Guide

by Heidi Priebe

INFPs are more common—statically speaking—than INFJs, but they are wildly different from one another in the way that they express themselves. They may make up 2-4% of the general population, but each INFP truly is one in seven billion.

extroverted feeling (or Fe). Fe reaches decisions by seeking out the emotional input of others and considering how their decision would impact the lives of those around them.

While the INFP certainly takes the feelings of their loved ones into heavy consideration, their main decision making process happens internally and is guided by the INFP’s personal moral compass, rather than the direct influence of those around them.

the complex yet guarded INFP—as their surface appearance often reveals only a small fraction of what they are experiencing internally.

if others have different wishes than they do, the INFP simply separates themselves from a group, pursues whatever it is they’d like to pursue, and then reconvenes with others afterward.

In many ways, the INFP is able to see the world in a more comprehensive and realistic fashion than many of their thinking counterparts, as they see not just the logic involved in the big-picture issues but the realistic outcomes that are likely to arise, based on the illogical nature of human behavior.

NO WONDERRRRR

the eventual development of introverted sensing and extroverted thinking form a powerful combination of functions that allows the INFP to excel at just about any project they put their minds to.

Because introverted feeling and extroverted intuition fuels the INFP with an unmatchable level of passion, this type is often able to achieve feats that other types would balk at from the get-go.

The INFP is often significantly happier than they let on—they just prefer to process and experience that happiness internally, rather than rubbing it in other people’s faces.

this type feels such an intense pull to support and care for the people they love that they often struggle to maintain a wide circle of friends—because once they are committed to supporting you, they are committed in a way that is unmatchable by almost any other type. This type may not jump to help out with every small-scale problem you come across but rest assured, when it comes to the important issues in life, they will be there come hell or high water.

At their best, type 4 INFPs are highly complex, creative, intelligent and in touch with their deepest thoughts and emotions. At their worst, they are spiteful, jealous, insecure and emotionally masochistic.

In an unhealthy state, Type 4 INFPs fall victim to the ‘Special Snowflake Syndrome.’ They feel the need to prove that they are deeper and more unique than those around them and they may subtly put down others for exhibiting commonplace or average behavior. They are constantly searching for validation that they are more interesting, complex and deep than those around them.

Mark lol

The type 9 INFP feels an intense personal connection to the people, belief systems and environments that they involve themselves in. They see these things as an extension of their very selves and harbor a deep-seated fear of the ways in which their sense of self may fragment and dissolve if they were to lose touch with any of them.

They may be prone to frequently second-guessing themselves, obsessing over past experiences in an attempt to determine whether or not they chose the correct course of action and placing an over-reliance on the suggestions and opinions of others. Though this type knows at their core that they are complex and unique individuals, they lack the confidence in their own uniqueness that their type 4 counterparts possess.

They take direction well and tend to excel at almost any career they take on as they are able to submit to the company’s wishes while adding their own inventive or creative flair to any project.

At their best, type 6 INFPs are stable, cooperative, trustworthy and rich in interpersonal relationships. At their worst, they are anxious, codependent, self-defeating and preoccupied with feelings of inferiority.

In an unhealthy state, Type 6 INFPs become confused an indecisive—looking to others for guidance about what to do next. They may become trapped inside of anxious or obsessive thoughts and find external ‘scapegoats’ for their struggles—believing that if a particular problem would resolve itself, all of their issues would cease to exist.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you into something else is the greatest accomplishment.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

This type lives in a world of identity possibilities and they are constantly shifting their perspective and redefining exactly what it means to be themselves.

Enjoy imaginative, independent play as toddlers.

- playing with stuffed animals - playing upstairs in the attick

Gravitate toward meaningful one-on-one interactions with others.

Are eager readers and learners as they reach school age.

but not in a structured or managed context

Invest themselves heavily in deep, loyal friendships with selected peers.

Courtenay

React best to positive, supportive interaction with parents and authority figures

what I never had

Crave understanding, connection and validation from their loved ones above all else.

they are highly sensitive to any quips, comments or well-intentioned jokes that highlight these differences between themselves and others. Their negative reactions to these comments may cause others to perceive them as overly sensitive, which only exaggerates their feelings of isolation.

why I left social groups

While these types are loving and eager to please on their best days, they also grapple with deep feelings of being misunderstood, which can manifest as a major source of conflict with their parents as they age. It’s important to keep in mind when raising an INFP child that their predominant wish is to be seen, accepted and loved by their parents for exactly who they are. This type—more so than any of the other sixteen types—needs to formulate their own unique identity and have it be accepted by others. The INFP who feels accepted and supported for who he or she is, is an INFP who is likely to thrive.

in order to understand the world around them, they first must understand how they themselves relate to it.

Make a habit of asking your INFP child directly how he or she feels about various experiences in his or her life. This validates the INFP child immensely and makes them feel more open to and receptive of your guidance.

explain to the INFP child why the...

Encourage your INFP’s love of reading and learning. Don’t assume that a quiet day in with their books is less stimulating for them than an active day out in the world.

Make sure your INFP child is as informed and prepared as possible for any major life changes that are coming up for them. This type requires a great deal of time to emotionally process even positive upsets and the more advance warning you can give them, the better.

As often as possible, answer your INFP child’s inquiries about the world from a humanitarian angle.

My mom used to tell me to stop asking questions.

encourage your INFP child to put him or her self in others shoes, as this both teaches them empathy and helps them to realize that they are more similar to others than they may inherently feel they are.

Their extroverted intuition develops in leaps and bounds over these years, causing them to become aware of a seemingly endless slew of identity possibilities that they failed to perceive before.

Their rapidly developing extroverted intuition helps them to align themselves with external causes and lifestyles that they identify with. They may quickly develop a keen humanitarian streak or become overnight advocates for a particular movement or cause. As the INFP grows into themselves, they begin to consider the impact they could have on the world around them, which can be a highly empowering experience.

They may enjoy the opportunity to explore various forms of self-expression in their teen years, should they be provided with a safe and encouraging environment in which they can do so.

The INFP is likely to deal with all of these conflicting pressures by withdrawing from others, despite the fact that what they’re ultimately craving is connection and belonging.

This type feels everything that happens to them in full force, which makes their adolescent years an exciting but tumultuous period—as they grow slowly and painfully into the people they’re going to become.

Developing intense humanitarian or artistic passions that may not be supported or encouraged by their families.

Struggling to follow through on projects or goals that are objectively important for their future success, but that do not inspire them.

Being able to clearly formulate their big-picture ideals but feeling lost on how to begin t...

Possessing the ability to think deeply about complex issues, but disliking the rigid structure of the...

Understanding which values they stand for in life, but not how to turn those values into a career...

The majority of issues that plague teenage INFPs are born from their innate understanding of who they are and what they stand for, but their failure to understand where they consequentl...

quote by Kelly Cutrone: “I advise you to stop sharing your dreams with people who try to hold you back, even if they’re your parents. Because, if you’re the kind of person who senses there’s something out there for you beyond whatever it is you’re expected to do—if you want to be EXTRA-ordinary—you will not get there by hanging around a bunch of people who tell you you’re not extraordinary. Instead, you will probably become as ordinary as they expect you to be.”

Forming meaningful friendships or romantic relationships with others that have the potential to stand the test of time.

Introverted sensing develops in the INFP between the ages of approximately 18-30. This function helps the INFP to survey his or her past experiences and determine which ones have elicited patterns of either positive or negative emotions. Doing so helps the INFP to structure their lives around what they know they enjoy doing and what they find meaning in.

the development of introverted sensing helps the INFP to carve out a carefully curated community for themselves—one they know will bring them joy, peace and fulfillment because it is rooted in the activities and experiences that they have historically loved the most.

Investing so heavily in personal relationships that the remainder of their life suffers or prospers significantly based on which relationships they’re engaged in.