Spring cleaning for actual people • Keep washing your damn dishes. • Open a damn window. • Anything fabric that isn’t clothes and can go in the washing machine? Wash it. • What’s that gross shit stuck to the floor over there? Wipe it up. • It’s warm outside now, so take all your goddamn trash out. • Do you have a vacuum? Well, it’s not doing you any good just sitting there. Use it. Use it on anything you can: floors, walls, weird spaces under things. Don’t use it on your pets. They get cranky. • Is something in your fridge possibly gaining sentience? Throw it out. • How long has that light
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