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I looked at her and thought about Ma, about the regret I’d felt because she wouldn’t let me into her heart and about the emptiness I felt because I’d never let her into mine.
I thought about the nightmares, the anxiety, the depression, the nagging feeling that I was a pathetic coward. I looked at Caroline, saw the longing in her eyes, and knew I couldn’t shut my wife out any longer. I couldn’t be like my mother. It was time. It was time to open up.
As I felt her breath against my skin and smelled her familiar smell, I suddenly didn’t care whether she thought I was weak because at that moment, I was. I needed to lean on the only person I’d ever really trusted. For the first time in my life, I gave myself completely.























