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June 24 - June 26, 2020
no need to get all arsey.
It was raining, the kind of fine misty rain that meant even if you had an umbrella, you’d reach your destination to discover you were still inexplicably wet.
He gave off the air of a young fella who’d borrowed his daddy’s uniform and was playing dress-up. There was a distinct aroma of Clearasil and terror about him.
Officer Danaher nodded gratefully and went off to call his mummy to ask if it was OK.
If all the men from there have the same aim as the hurling team, you’d have been ear-fucked to death by now.”
At times like this, it was hard for him to run from the suspicion that he might be an idiot.
“We, the Garda Síochána, cannot, at this present moment in time, find our arse with the application of both hands, but we are phoning for additional resources to assist in this matter. Please hold, your call is important to us.”
Breasts that looked so impossibly pert, they reminded Paul of intensely interested meerkats.
had gone from unusual, past awkward, through complicated and all the way to clusterfuck.
Do you’ve any idea how many people have properly pissed me off in my 41 years on the force? If I was going out for revenge, you’d rank somewhere between the moron who never quite fixes the coffee machine, and whatever thieving so’n’so keeps taking my yoghurts out of the fridge.”
the spotlight effect. Basically, we all believe other people are paying way more attention to us than they actually are.
Every victim was automatically replaced with someone close to him. His wife, parents, daughters, son - each had swapped places with the dead many times. He’d never told this to anyone, what would be the point? He knew what they’d say and he knew he couldn’t change it if he tried. Deep down, he didn’t want to. Somebody should care, somebody should always care.
If I restricted myself to only talking when I’d something positive to say, I’d be a fecking mime by now.”
Get off the cross, we need the wood.”
You’ve got to land a few punches, if you’re going to throw the fight.”
something had crawled up there and died a slow and painful death by cabbage.

