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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
S.J. Scott
Read between
June 2 - August 12, 2018
You can be content right now if you choose to see all of the good and beauty around y...
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You can view the process of creating and reaching your goals as a place for happiness and contentment. Rather than holding back happiness while you await an outcome, enjoy every step along the path. Every revelation, every small action toward your goals should be savored and celebrated.
Leisure/social: “I will dedicate three hours every week to learn and practice watercolor painting. This will be done by eliminating unimportant habits like watching TV.”
create a daily action plan for the next seven days.
What are my personal obligations? What are my priority projects? How much time do I have?
most important activities.
1) Take action on it immediately or 2) schedule a time when you’ll follow up on it.
then put
the idea into an archive folder that’s reviewed
every ...
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Figure out how much time you’ll need for each task and schedule them into your week.
Start your day by working on goals first thing in the morning,
evaluate your goals every three months, make sure they are aligned with your life purpose, and then create new goals based on what you’ve learned.
take time do it every quarter.
Think about how much negative mental energy you’ve devoted to a bad boss, a job you hate, or a career move you regret.
Our recommendation is to write down what you want and then revise it along the way whenever you recognize something you do/don’t want in your life. Finally, post this vision where you can see it every day.
Daily, focused action will move you forward. If you don’t know what to do, just do something. Take one small action in the direction of your dream.
One of the longest studies ever conducted on happiness is the Harvard Study of Adult Development,
the long-term research is unequivocal: “Close relationships and social connections keep you happy and healthy.
The key is not just having relationships—it’s having high-quality relationships.
Prioritizing the relationship Open communication Healthy conflict resolution Mutual trust and respect Shared interests Some level of emotional and/or intellectual intimacy Acceptance and forgiveness Physical touch (for personal relationships)
Rather than looking to others to make relationship changes, the best place to start is within you. Even if your family members, friends, and business associates need to improve their relationship skills, you can go a long way in reducing stress in your life by initiating changes in you.
The practice of mindfulness allows us to be present with our partners, to be less emotionally reactive with them, and to more quickly overcome stressful situations in the relationship.
Often, when someone is talking, our mind is more focused on the minutia of our lives, our worries, or what we want to say next.
Empathic (or active) listening is a willingness to step outside of your distracted mind and listen to their words in a non-judgmental way. Empathy is the grace note of empathic listening, as it allows the speaker to feel safe, validated, and understood.
With empathic listening, it’s all about the other person and what they are trying to communicate—with their words, with the words left unspoken, and with their emotions.
Ask open-ended questions that invite more from the speaker.
Avoid coming to premature conclusions or offering solutions.
Reflect back to the speaker what you h...
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but as the listener you are in a state of focused awareness. When you listen empathically, it’s impossible to be stuck in looping thoughts or distracted by worry or regret.
commit to 10 minutes of active listening where you are focused solely on the other person
Dr. John Gottman discovered through his research that there should be five times as many positive interactions between partners as there are negative in order for a relationship to be stable and a marriage to last.
Place a mental filter between your thoughts and words, recognizing the power your words have on one of the most important people in your life.
Resist the temptation to simply react to someone’s words or actions.
Through the practice of mindful speaking, you not only improve the quality of your relationships, but also improve the quality of your inner world.
You can use a loving kindness meditation specifically to improve your relationships with specific people in your life in order to reduce negative thinking about them.
Sit in a comfortable position, either on the floor with your legs crossed and your hands sitting loosely in your lap, or sitting up straight in a chair with your legs uncrossed, feet on the floor, and hands resting in your lap. Close your eyes and take two or three deep cleansing breathes, and then begin counting each breath, going from 1 to 10. Once you are relaxed, bring to mind a person to whom you wish to send loving kindness, and consider their positive qualities—the light of goodness you see in them. After you focus on their positive qualities for a few minutes, mentally say the
...more
statements directed to your loved one: “May you
be happy,” “May you be well,” “May you be loved.” There is nothing wrong with altering the words slightly to focus on the needs of the individual. There are no hard and fast rules. You might substitute the person’s name ...
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May you be free from inner and outer harm and danger. May you be safe and protected. May you be free of mental suffering or distress. May you be free of physical pain and suffering. May you be healthy and strong. May you be able t...
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By measuring ourselves against the achievements, possessions, or traits of everyone else, we set the stage for the disintegration of potentially fulfilling relationships.
“It undermines my focus on the work I’m doing, making me feel inept and envious until I regain my footing and realize I’m on my own journey, which should be different from those around me.”
Comparison fosters so many negative feelings that it destroys more than just your peace of mind—it damages your relationships.
Feelings of envy, jealously, shame, guilt, embarrassment, self-loathing, resentment, and anger are not qualities that enhance a relationship or make you attractive to others.
sometimes comparing can motivate us to improve ourselves or to achieve something that we observe in others. But when comparison causes those “big, flashing signs” to light up, it’s time to take action.
But changing your reactions to those who have “more” will free you up to follow your own path and become the best person YOU are meant to be.
Rather than resisting this person, lean into it. Accept it, and acknowledge that you are perfectly okay right now.
God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; The courage to change the things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference.
Rather than blindly longing for something you
don’t have, make decisions through the filter of your inner wisdom. What can you change? What do you want to change? Go back to your values and life priorities to help you define your life on your own terms rather than trying to emulate someone else who may have differing values and priorities.
