Declutter Your Mind: How to Stop Worrying, Relieve Anxiety, and Eliminate Negative Thinking

by S.J. Scott

It’s a matter of choosing to see the glass half full rather than half empty—and acknowledging your gratitude for the water in the glass.

“We can learn to break the habit of accumulating and perpetuating old emotion by flapping our wings, metaphorically speaking, and refrain from mentally dwelling on the past, regardless of whether something happened yesterday or 30 years ago. We can learn not to keep situations or events alive in our minds, but to return our attention continuously to the pristine, timeless present moment rather than be caught up in mental movie-making.”

If there’s an unresolved problem or hurt between you and another person, take action to resolve the situation. Rather than stewing about the past issue, initiate communication with the other person to talk through it, even if you feel you were “wronged.”

Feelings of anger or hurt can make open dialog difficult, but learn more about healthy communication so you can have a productive talk with the other person.

When you mentally replay a situation over and over, your perspective becomes the ultimate truth for you. It seems impossible to view the situation from any other angle. You may believe your memories and interpretation of the relationship are correct, but the other person may have an entirely different perspective. Challenge your own interpretation by stepping into the other person’s shoes.

When you empathize with the other person, it removes some of the pain or anger associated with the memory. By challenging your own beliefs and memories, you give yourself permission to view the situation from a less negative point of view.

The person from your past may never apologize, but offer forgiveness anyway. You don’t have to forgive them in person, but forgive them inside your own heart and mind.

Clinging to your anger and pain only prolongs suffering and mental distress. You forgive to set yourself free from this suffering so you can move on to live in the present with a clear mind.

Forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean you reconcile with them. It means you let go of resentment and anger so it doesn’t further poison you. It may be hard to forgive, especially when the offending person hasn’t accepted responsibility for their behavior. But you can begin by recognizing this person is doing the best they know how with the skills they possess.

“Your life is like a play with several acts. Some of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others, much larger. Some are villains and others are good guys. But all of them are necessary, otherwise they wouldn’t be in the play. Embrace them all, and move on to the next act.”

Offering forgiveness might require you forgive yourself for something you said or did in a relationship. Reflect honestly on your actions and how they might have hurt or offended the other person. You’ll likely come up with many reasons why you behaved as you did, and perhaps have some legitimate rationalizations for your actions. But if there is any part of your behavior that was wrong, you must accept it and forgive yourself for it.

Practicing mindfulness in your love relationship gives you a tool for strengthening your intimate connection while reducing stress and angst in your life.

When you’re able to bypass emotional reactions with your spouse or partner, you feel more centered, calm, and capable of resolving issues in a loving manner. This ability alone can save you from days and even years of mental and emotional distress that depletes your emotional energy.

Decluttering your relationships sometimes means just that—letting go of people who cause you suffering. Sometimes the only course of action is to say goodbye to those who continue to undermine your mental and emotional health.

“If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.” – Doug Larson

Where you choose to spend time every day ultimately determines the quality of your life.

we tend to allow happenstance, boredom, or other people to determine how we spend a lot of our time. We react to what’s in front of us, instead of mindfully deciding how we want to create our lives.

defining your values, life priorities, goals, and life passion. These actions help you direct the daily activities of your life.

bulk of your time is often filled with mindless tasks that contribute to feelings of overwhelm, e...

“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.” – William Morris

Multiple stimuli present in the visual field at the same time compete for neural representation by mutually suppressing their evoked activity throughout visual cortex, providing a neural correlate for the limited processing capacity of the visual system.

when your environment is cluttered, the visual chaos restricts your ability to focus. The clutter also limits your brain’s ability to process information. Clutter distracts you so you’re unable to process information as well as you would in an uncluttered, organized, and serene environment.

Clutter steals your focus, making you feel overwhelmed, distracted, and agitated. Your brain is so busy trying to process all of the visual stimuli that you can’t fully enjoy the moment.

You can declutter your home in less time than you think—and without feeling completely overwhelmed—when you tackle it in small chunks of time every day. Set aside just 10 minutes a day to work on your clutter, and within a few weeks your house will be in order.

Digital “stuff” has an insidious way of occupying your time with nonessential activities—and just like physical clutter in your home, digital clutter creates feelings of anxiety, agitation, and overwhelm.

If you add up the time spent on each digital device, every day, then you probably have a closer relationship with the virtual world than you have with your spouse, children, or friends. You know there’s something wrong with this balance, and yet you still find yourself flipping open the lid or gazing at your iPhone whenever you have a moment to spare—or even when you don’t. Is this really how you want to live your life?

All of this digital input creates agitation and has an addictive quality that pulls you away from more meaningful pursuits that energize you rather than depleting you.

We suggest you… Read a book Take a long walk Exercise Talk with a friend Spend quality time with your spouse and children Do something creative, like writing or drawing Learn a new skill Meditate Listen to music Ride your bike Finish a project Do something that is real, in-the-moment, and positive so that you avoid both the depletion of digital immersion and the secondary feelings of guilt and anxiety that often accompany too much time plugged in.

Here are some questions to ask yourself that can be used to create digital boundaries: How much time each day is absolutely necessary for me to spend on my devices for my job? Am I in a job that requires me to spend more time than I want behind my computer? How could I interact face-to-face with people in my work more often? How much time do I want to spend on my home computer doing work? How much time do I want to spend on social media for entertainment? How much time do I want to spend on my smartphone for entertainment? In what situations is a phone call or personal meeting more appropriate than a text? What real-life friendships have I neglected, and how do I want to nurture them? What family or relationship agreements should we have in place about using our smartphones, iPads, or laptops in each other’s presence? What traditions or family time (like dinners together) do you want to make sacred and personal, without the presence of digital devices? What limitations or rules should we have for our children’s use of digital devices? How should I be a role model to my children related to these rules? When I have downtime, what are the top five best ways I should use it? How can I deal with the urges to “surf the net” or engage in social media when I really don’t want to? How will I commit to managing my digital clutter so it doesn’t get out of hand? Use your answers to these questions to write down your values and personal commitments related to how you spend your time an...