Neighbor Dearest

by Penelope Ward

When we arrived at my building, my sister stopped to sit on one of the benches in the corner of the fenced-in courtyard. “Let’s sit for a bit, finish our coffees.” Her gaze wandered across the grass to my shirtless neighbor. “Okay…who’s the hottie in the beanie defacing the property?”

I didn’t know my neighbor’s name, but I’d see him once in a while doing spray paint art along the wrap-around concrete wall that surrounded the property. It served as a vast canvas. His spray painting was true art, definitely not what would be considered simple graffiti. It was an elaborate mix of celestial and geographical images. This guy just kept adding different artwork to the wall gradually. It was a work in progress. I could only assume he planned to paint the entire circumference of the property, as much as the wall space would allow.

I admired the guy’s broad shoulders and tanned muscular back as his arm moved the spray can up and down. “God, doesn’t he remind you of Elec, though? Arm tattoo…dark hair. Artistic. Basically, that’s the last type of guy I’m going for at this point.” “So, if someone looks like or seems similar to Elec, then they’re automatically disqualified? They’re destined to do the same thing Elec did? Is that how you think? That’s just stupid rationale.” “Maybe that’s fucked-up. But the last thing I want is to be with someone who reminds me of him in the least.”

Neighbor Dearest suddenly wiped the sweat from his forehead, took off the mask covering his nose and mouth, and dumped the spray cans into a black drawstring sack. He slung it over his shoulder and just when I thought he was going to walk away and out of the courtyard, he began to walk in our direction. Jade straightened in her seat, and I hated that my pulse raced a bit. His eyes were focused on me. I wouldn’t call it an angry stare, but he wasn’t smiling. The sunlight beamed directly into his blue eyes, which glowed and really stood out against his tan skin. Jade was right; this guy was truly gorgeous.

When he was safely out of earshot—for real this time—Jade sighed. “Angry guys are the best in bed.” “You just can’t stop yourself, can you? Haven’t you done enough damage? I’ve always told you that you’re loud when you think you’re whispering. Now there’s proof…at my expense.” “You’ll be thanking me later when you’re screaming out in orgasm as the angry artist is Van Goh-ing down on you.”

Lying back in my bed, I knew there was only one thing I could possibly do that would help me relax enough to sleep amidst the barking. Despite not wanting to resort to it, I grabbed my Bose noise-reducing headphones and placed them on my ears to block out some of the sound. Even though there wasn’t any music playing, they did help. But I slept on my side. They were only a solution if I was lying on my back. The only time I ever lay in that horizontal position was when I masturbated. And why was I suddenly thinking about the angry artist? Sadly, the thought of touching myself immediately brought on unwanted images of him. I didn’t want to think of him that way. He was a jerk; he didn’t deserve to be the object of my lust. But he’d smelled so fucking good, like spice and musk and man. We don’t have control over what we fantasize about. The fact that he was mean and unattainable made him that much more likely to be an object of my forbidden thoughts. Just like I learned in psychology class back in college, thought suppression often leads to obsession. If you tell yourself not to think about something, then you’ll think about it even more.

Slipping my hands down my pants, I began to massage my clit. God, I didn’t even know his name. This was sick, but at the moment it didn’t matter. I imagined him over me, pushing into me, fucking me angrily. All the while, the hint of barking was still in the background as I rocked back and forth, bringing myself to one of the most earth-shattering climaxes I’d ever experienced. I collapsed back and managed to fall asleep for an hour.

Knocking on the door, I took a deep breath then waited. When the door opened, the sight of him nearly made me fall over. Angry Artist was standing there, shirtless and wearing that damn beanie again. My heart was pounding. Sweat was pouring down his chiseled chest, and I swore my mouth actually watered.

“Clearly the D stands for dick?” He didn’t immediately respond, and a little staring contest ensued before he said, “The D stands for Damien.” Damien. Of course he had to have a hot name, too.

She laughed. “Mmmm.” “What?” “Angry sex is the best sex, you know.” “Yeah, you’ve said that before. I can’t say I’ve ever experienced it.” “Well, when you have it with…what’s his name?” “Damien. That’s his name. I’m not going to be having angry sex with Damien.” “Damien? Like from The Omen?”

Damien’s dark hair was drenched, and beads of water were dripping from his forehead down to his chest. He was completely wet. The carved V at the bottom of his abs was proof that all of that working out downstairs was paying off. A small towel wrapped around his waist was the only piece of fabric on his otherwise naked body. Rippled muscular body. Holy shit. He was obscenely hot.

After five minutes, I could hear her footsteps as she left his apartment. Watching from the window as she ran through the courtyard, I wondered what type of a relationship they had now, whether it was amicable, whether they ever still had sex. I wondered who ended it. I also wondered why I was thinking about something that wasn’t any of my business—why as of late, I was constantly thinking about Damien. One thing was for certain: it was a hell of a lot better than constantly thinking about Elec.

He’d changed into a fitted gray sweater and dark jeans and smelled like he’d just sprayed on a fresh coating of cologne.

I bet he looks sexy AF.

“Don’t be afraid to say what you want. Life is too short.”

Steam filled the kitchen as Damien took the two pizza pies out of the oven. I couldn’t help admiring the curvature of his ass as he bent down. Digging my teeth into my bottom lip, I said, “That looks really good.” “Wait till you taste.” I bet. Stop where your mind is going, Chelsea.

Watching Damien as he input information about himself, I noticed he often licked the side of his mouth whenever he concentrated. Each time his tongue moved, I felt a tingle run through me. I definitely wouldn’t mind licking that spot for him.

A picture of Damien popped up on the screen. It was taken in his bathroom. It was a shockingly good selfie where the light happened to be shining at just the right angle into his eyes, making them appear like they were glowing. He was beautiful.

“You can’t really know a hundred percent. Use your instinct the best you can. And get his full name. I pay for this background check service. I’ll run the same one I do on all the tenants to make sure any guy you date is legit.” “You’d do that for me?” “What are friends for?” “Oh…are we friends?” I joked. “Yeah. Why not?” And there it was: final confirmation of the fact that Damien wasn’t interested in anything more with me.

When I turned around, Damien was standing there in his classic gray beanie, dressed in all black and smelling like leather and cologne. He was carrying a massive bag around his shoulder. My weak knees felt like they were ready to snap from under me. So shocked, I stood there speechless until I finally found the words to introduce him. “This is—”

“Damien Hennessey,” he interrupted, offering his hand to the woman along with a flash of his perfect teeth that I wanted to run my tongue along. “Chelsea called me to fill in after Dubois cancelled.” He looked at me. “Where do you need me?” “You can set up right here in this corner.” Damien followed me and dropped his stuff. Once we were alone, I turned to him. “I can’t believe you came. I didn’t even get to actually ask you to come on the message.” “It was obvious where you were going with it. And Jesus, you sounded like you were afraid or something. Why were you so nervous to ask me?” Because I have a major crush on you.

Damien opened the passenger side door to his black pickup truck and let me in before he packed his supplies into the back. The car smelled like his cologne mixed with air freshener. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath in. I looked at the backseat and smiled at the towel he’d put down for the dogs.

“Then, tell me. Why do you think I was upset?” “Honestly? I think you’re confused about me.” “Confused…” “Yes. I think you’re wondering why I opted not to have dinner with you and instead ended up with a woman I’d literally just met, someone who isn’t as sweet as you and sure as fuck isn’t as pretty as you. So, you’re wondering what the hell I was thinking. Am I right?” That’s exactly what I was thinking.

He closed his eyes as if to try to find the right words. “It’s just that I know for sure that I can’t ever be what someone like you needs in a boyfriend, in a partner. It’s not that we wouldn’t have fun or be great together at first. I’m just not good for you in the long-term—not marriage material. And the reasons are too complex to get into, except to say that it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. I can’t, in good conscience, start something with a girl like you.” “A girl like me…” “Yes. You’re not the kind of girl a guy takes home for a quick fuck. You’re the girl he keeps.”

He’d changed into gray sweatpants that clung to his junk in a way that now ruled out absolutely any chance that he wasn’t blessed in that department. The top of his boxer briefs was sticking out a bit. Damn.

Even though my mind knew that Damien had closed the door on the possibility of anything romantic happening between us, my nerves certainly hadn’t gotten the message. Slipping out of my dress, I still felt like a giddy fool. My heart was beating just a bit faster than normal as I threw on some black leggings along with Elec’s old Bruins shirt that I often slept in. Feeling a slight rumbling in my stomach, I decided I should probably take this opportunity to use the bathroom.

When Damien finally turned and noticed me standing beside him, he shut the video off and just looked at me. Silence. The expression on his face was a mix of sympathy, anger, and understanding. I think he finally realized why I was so fucked-up. When a teardrop started to fall, he caught it halfway down my cheek and said, “He’s a fucking idiot. He’s not worthy of the way you were looking at him in that video, and he’s certainly not worthy of these tears.” He rubbed his thumb along my cheek. “No one is.”

Wrapping my arms around my chest, I disappeared to my room, taking a minute to grab my bearings as I leaned my back against the door. His cutting the shirt off of me ignited an odd mix of emotions. On one hand, it was a symbol of finality. That shirt was the last item of Elec’s in my possession. More than that, I was caught off guard by how much his ripping my shirt off had turned me on.

He lowered the volume. “Want to watch something on Netflix instead? What do you feel like?” I feel like making out with you. God, that’s the only thing I feel like doing right now.

“Yeah…I figure why not? He’s nice enough.” Damien slammed his mug down. “Nice enough?” “Yes.” “You do realize you just basically wrote him off, right? So why bother spending any more time with him if you’re not crazy about him?” Because I need a distraction from you. At the same time, I love being around you.

“You can’t always get what you want.” I was sure Damien had no clue that I was thinking of him when I’d said it. I thought I’d been doing a pretty good job of hiding my true feelings for him lately, going along with us just being friends. But if there was one thing I’d learned from this, it was that you can’t control your attraction to someone. If it’s there, it’s there. It can either be ignored or acted upon but not controlled. But I was grateful for Damien, even if things couldn’t progress past friendship. At the very least, he’d helped take the focus off of Elec.

Sandwiched between them, I closed my eyes and relished Damien’s smell, which saturated the sheets. Sinking my nails into the goose down pillow, I took a deep breath in and imagined for a moment that it was him. My heart started to beat faster. That made me realize how badly I’d been craving being close to him, even though I’d been trying to suppress my feelings to avoid getting hurt. He wasn’t even with us, but here in this bed, in his most intimate place, I could feel his presence strongly

When he turned around toward her, his ass was facing the camera and filled the screen. It was perfectly round, muscular, smooth and unblemished—everything I thought it would be. He had a beauty mark about the size of a pea on his right ass cheek. I covered my mouth and couldn’t help laughing at that. Holy shit. I was staring at Damien’s ass. Beautiful ass. I needed to shut it off, but I couldn’t move. It was difficult to see what she looked like. His back was blocking her, but it seemed that she was rubbing her hands down the front of his body. “God, you’re ready,” she said. “How ever can you tell?” he asked seductively. His voice gave me chills.

Then, he reached over to grab something, and I heard what sounded like the crinkle of a condom wrapper. He lowered himself over her. I was grateful that I couldn’t make out her face. She moaned out, “I love that first time you sink into me.” “Yeah? You’re gonna love how hard I fuck you even more.” After about a minute of sitting there frozen, my eyes were glued to Damien’s ass as he thrust his hips and pounded into her. I knew I had to stop. Just listening to the sounds he was making—ones I knew would haunt me for many nights to come—I’d decided I’d done enough damage to my psyche.

Back at my apartment, the guilt was soon replaced by the sweetest kind of torture. The vision of Damien’s ass, the deep, throaty sounds of his pleasure had been etched into my brain, replaying over and over as I brought myself to climax several times that night. I’d replaced all memories of the woman in the video with myself, imagining what he would feel like as he filled me, that husky voice in my ear telling me how good he was going to fuck me while I inhaled the smell of him all over my naked body.

Last night, throughout the fondue date with Brian, I kept thinking about Damien: Damien’s ass, Damien’s hand on my hip, my impending Sunday lunch with Damien. It was pathetic. I would chuckle to myself every time Brian would dip something into the sauce because I could hear Damien joking about that being the only thing he’d be dipping into. I couldn’t shake my friend from my mind, and I didn’t really want to.

“I felt like dressing up. Do you have a problem with that?” “No. You look nice,” he said as he brushed past me into the apartment. “Thank you.” Damien didn’t look so bad himself, wearing a brown leather jacket and distressed jeans that hugged his ass.

Before I could question anything further, Damien’s hands were on my face, bringing me into him. He pressed his lips into mine and began to kiss me harder than I’d ever been kissed in my entire life. My heart was pounding so fast, and I didn’t know whether it was because I knew Elec was watching or because of the sheer shock of it all or simply because I knew this was going to ruin me. It’s all for show. Even though I kept telling myself it wasn’t real, it sure as heck didn’t feel fake as Damien pushed his tongue in and out of my mouth. His hot, wet lips on mine were without a doubt the best I’d ever felt.

Upon the recognition of his taste, all of my senses weakened. My legs felt like they were ready to collapse, like the only thing holding me up were his hands still wrapped around my cheeks. I opened my mouth wider taking in every one of his breaths as if they were my only oxygen. I kept expecting him to pull away, but instead he only kissed me harder, pressing his entire body into mine. I didn’t care where we were anymore or that we were still in a crowded line.

He moved his hands from my cheeks and began threading his fingers through my hair, slightly pulling it. We were making a scene. Even though putting on a performance for Elec was his initial intent, I wasn’t sure it was just for show anymore. The low moan that escaped into my mouth was proof that he’d gotten carried away and lost in it, too. The kiss that started out calculated, calm and collected was no longer that as I felt his heart pound against mine. It was the most b...

Once back in the truck, the ride was quiet and tense. Damien wouldn’t look at me as he kept his eyes straight ahead. My body was in a confused state. My nerves were shot, but at the same time, I was so painfully aroused. My panties were wet. My nipples were hard. My brain and my body wanted two different things. My body wanted nothing more than for him to pull over and fuck me into oblivion on the side of the road.

But my brain wanted an explanation as to why he kept fighting his feelings for me, why he couldn’t just take a chance and see where things went. It kept wondering why I didn’t matter enough to him to take that risk, when he was all that mattered to me. I wanted to cry for the sheer reason that my heart was still beating just as fast as it had when I first spotted Elec. Except now I knew that it had nothing to do with my ex. My heart was no longer hurting for Elec; it was hurting for Damien. I was afraid Damien was going to hurt me far worse than Elec ever did.

Damien let me choose the food, and I picked one of the concession places right on the boardwalk. He ordered pizza while I opted for a giant corn dog on a stick that looked obscene. Some angel of perversity must have been laughing down on me because this thing even had a sprouted tip that looked like a crown. It was unfortunately not the best choice for today, given the sexual awkwardness that was still lingering in the air around us.

The dogs were barking more than ever. I knew they were trying to get me to come over, and it pained me because I missed them. And I missed him. I just didn’t know how to be around him without feeling the sadness of his rejection. Continuing to be his friend seemed impossible because I was pretty sure I was falling in love with him.

“And this next thing…I’m only going to admit because you’re drunk as shit and won’t remember it tomorrow.” “What?” “When you were licking the tip of that fucking corn dog…I wanted it to be my cock in your mouth. So fucking badly. I’m so hard right now just thinking about your lips wrapped around my dick. Remember how I went to find a bathroom after lunch that day? I went to jerk off because I couldn’t stop thinking about you taking my cock down your throat.”

“Anytime I think about moving on from these feelings for Damien, it just makes me sad. It doesn’t feel natural to me. I can’t explain it. It feels like even though a part of him is forcing himself away from me, there’s still this pull that is ever present. I can’t imagine my feelings going away as long as that contradiction exists.”

Dudley followed me, seeming to understand exactly why I’d returned. Damien had folded down his sheets just right for us and turned on the small lamp. So much had happened between us since the last time I’d slept in this bed. We’d had that amazing kiss, but he’d also managed to destroy most of my hope. I really wanted to go back to my apartment but couldn’t do that to Dudley.

He must have heard me because he stopped in the doorway. I could barely make out the silhouette of his bare, sculpted chest in the darkness. His voice was low. “You need anything?” “No, I’m good.” “Dudley’s out, huh?” “Yes.” My answers were short to match my odd temperament tonight. “Are you alright?” he asked. I didn’t answer. Rather than returning to the couch, Damien approached the bed and sat down at the edge. He placed his hand on my head and ran his fingers slowly through my hair. That simple gesture was my undoing.

Still at the edge of the bed, Damien put his head in his hands. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “So fucking sorry.” My heart had never felt heavier than this moment. Still so confused, I was only sure of two things. One: I had to move. Two: I was desperately in love with him.

Upon closer look, he wasn’t exactly the spitting image of his brother. Tyler was stunning in more of a movie star way while Damien was more rough around the edges. But he had the same beautiful blue eyes as Damien, the same tanned skin (minus the arm tat), the same bone structure, the same strong build, and the same flirtatious smile. God. I wanted to swim in their gene pool.

Sucking in the smoke, I immediately coughed. “You didn’t inhale it, did you?” “I did a little.” “Don’t.” Ty took it from me and brought it to his mouth, drawing in the smoke, slowly blowing it out into my face. “Just taste it for a few seconds then let it go.” I was suddenly massively flushed. There was something about those words that seemed sexual. When I looked over at Damien, I saw that the death stare from earlier had returned in full force.