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Needless to say, Gerald, despite never being all that fond of rats, had absolutely no problems letting some of the castle’s resident ninja rats set up an outpost in his chambers.
There was even one rat – a tough fellow with a mace and a slightly insane smile – that enjoyed quail lightly seasoned with a mixture of twelve different herbs and spices.
Gerald had even managed to convince Katie to take a correspondence course in accounting although he had a feeling that the only reason she’d agreed was so she could learn how to minimise her taxes after she overthrew Timmy and took over the castle.
“Aw, who’s a little engine of death who will help me slaughter my enemies and burn their houses down,” the elf cooed as she rubbed the dragon’s belly and scratched between its wings. “You are, aren’t you? Yes, you are.”
You’re such a cuddly, scaly harbinger of death. I can’t wait until you start flying around and raining fiery doom on my enemies. It’ll be so much fun watching those bastards burn.”
“I have lived a very long time,” Old Man said. “But I have never seen anything like that before.”
Timmy shuddered. If Vicky ever developed Avraniel’s taste for unnecessary property damage, then the world was doomed.
“And he listens to me because I’m awesome,” the elf said.
People don’t eat ogres. It’s usually the other way around, but I think you’ll get a chance pretty soon.”
It was almost adorable the way Spot huffed and puffed – he must have used his fire a bit more than he was used to – before he decided to forgo ranged attacks in favour of simply throwing himself at the closest opponent with his mouth wide open. Things then proceeded to get a lot less adorable.
The elf alone was trouble of the highest order, and the addition of a legendary swordsman, a young dragon, and a bunch of rodents that thought explosives were the greatest things ever was bound to lead to disaster.
She had it on good authority from the leader of the demolition rats that this concoction would get the job done and eventually revolutionise siege warfare.
Gerald asked the question that was on both their minds. “Does she realise that she’s still completely naked?”
“I don’t think so. I think she was too busy eating those guys.”
Katie cackled. “Did you use the old zombie snake hidden on a zombie hydra trick again, master?” “Hey, it might be an oldie, but it’s a goodie. Nobody ever sees it coming.”
We could have a zombie shark-hydra, a zombie shark-drake, or –”
The zombie squirrel lurched to its feet and then leapt at the leader of the thieves. The man screamed, clawing at the zombie squirrel, and turned to run. Timmy reanimated several dead rats from a nearby sewer and sent them after the thief’s fellows.
Ah, this was one of the great joys of being a necromancer. Nobody ever expected much from him and then – bam! Zombie hydra-griffin!
The power rolling off them was incredible – and was that a young dragon in the corner arguing with an eye-patch-wearing rat with a sword? What kind of ship was this?
As he watched his crew – his family – enjoy good, wholesome food for the first time in months, Jake prayed to the gods that he’d made the right decision. Somehow, he was certain that he had. The group he’d met was simply too quirky and weird to be held together by anything except for genuine friendship and loyalty.
And then, cutting through the water like an arrow from a bow, there was Roger – the zombie shark-hydra-drake.
Something moved in the water, and Old Man frowned. “What is that?” Amanda followed his gaze. Her full lips curved into a coquettish smile. “I believe that is Katie’s pet project. She calls it… Roger.”
Personally, Katie had wanted a pit full of rabid zombie badgers, but her master had claimed she was being completely ridiculous. If they were going to add another pit, beside the pits full of creepy-crawlies and the pit full of zombie snakes, then he was determined to add a pit full of zombie mongooses. Maybe they could compromise. They could have a pit full of rabid zombie badger-mongooses.
“You are most welcome although you would probably still be short. Your height, I am afraid, is not something you can choose.” “Hey!”
And if powerful mages are often eccentric, do you think that I’m eccentric? After all, I am the most powerful mage in the entire empire.” “I would describe you as delightfully charming, Your Majesty.”
