Still Life (Chief Inspector Armand Gamache, #1)

by Louise Penny

Every year the hunters shot cows and horses and family pets and each other. And, unbelievably, they sometimes shot themselves, perhaps in a psychotic episode where they mistook themselves for dinner.

‘Oscar Wilde said that conscience and cowardice are the same thing. What stops us from doing horrible things isn’t our conscience but the fear of getting caught.’

‘Odd, isn’t it? I can’t remember. But unfortunately, as I said, I’m normally lost in thought. Never deep or important thoughts. My mother used to laugh and say some people try to be in two places at once. I, on the other hand, am generally nowhere.’

Gamache wondered how low the bar was set when all a man had to do to attract a woman was not smell of decomposing bears.

You know Gabri, he wears his heart on his sleeve.’ In fact, there were times Olivier wondered whether Gabri hadn’t been born inside out.

‘But you knew what would happen. Why would you choose to walk right into a situation where you know the person is going to be hurtful? It kills me to see you do that, and you do it all the time. It’s like a form of insanity.’ ‘You call it insanity, I call it optimism.’

‘Is it optimism to expect people to do something they’ve never done before? Every time you approach Yolande she’s horrible to you. Every time. And yet you keep doing it. Why?’

‘Life is change. If you aren’t growing and evolving you’re standing still, and the rest of the world is surging ahead. Most of these people are very immature. They lead “still” lives, waiting.’ ‘Waiting for what?’ ‘Waiting for someone to save them. Expecting someone to save them or at least protect them from the big, bad world. The thing is no one else can save them because the problem is theirs and so is the solution. Only they can get out of it.’

The fault lies with us, and only us. It’s not fate, not genetics, not bad luck, and it’s definitely not Mom and Dad. Ultimately it’s us and our choices. But, but’ – now her eyes shone and she almost vibrated with excitement – ‘the most powerful, spectacular thing is that the solution rests with us as well. We’re the only ones who can change our lives, turn them around. So all those years waiting for someone else to do it are wasted.

‘But,’ Clara turned to him, ‘how would a hunter from Toronto know where to stand?’ ‘What do you mean? They go into the woods and stand. There’s not much to it, that’s why so many morons hunt.’

he’s challenging us to do it. Goading us into it. But we don’t have to react. That’s what I’m saying. A police force, like a government, should be above that. Just because we’re provoked doesn’t mean we have to act.’

Gamache felt deeply sorry for Yolande. Not for the pain she felt, but for the pain she didn’t feel. He prayed, in the silence, that one day she wouldn’t have to pretend to emotions, other than resentment, but could actually feel them. Others in the church were sad but Yolande cut the saddest figure. Certainly the most pathetic.

Jane Neal had known that when her time came God wouldn’t ask how many committees she’d sat on, or how much money she’d made, or what prizes she’d won. No. He’d ask how many fellow creatures she’d helped. And Jane Neal would have had an answer.

Abby Hoffman said we should all eat what we kill. That would put an end to war.’

Her home is all off-whites and beiges and tasteful colors, like a Decormag model home.’ ‘No Happy Faces?’ asked Gamache. ‘Probably never.’

‘Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.’

‘Trying to get me suspended again? The Sûreté torturing a black woman?’ ‘Don’t they promote you for that?’ Gamache caught and held Myrna’s eye. Neither smiled. They both knew the truth in that.

he cocked his head to one side and furrowed his brow. Gamache, who’d been watching these people for almost two weeks, knew that for Peter Morrow this was the equivalent of a scream.

The ones who lead what you called “still” lives. Do you remember?’ ‘Yes, I do. The ones who aren’t growing and evolving, who are standing still. They’re the ones who rarely got better.’ ‘Yes, that was it,’ said Gamache. ‘They waited for life to happen to them. They waited for someone to save them. Or heal them. They did nothing for themselves.’