Hot Milk

by Deborah Levy

I want a bigger life.

I did not tell her how discouraged I felt and that I was ashamed I was not more resilient and all the rest of it which included wanting a bigger life but that so far I had not been bold enough to make a bid for the things I wanted to happen and I feared it was written in the stars that I might end up with a reduced life like hers

Why would your father do things that are not to his advantage?

My problem is that I want to smoke the cigar and for someone else to light it.