Joshua (The Mitchell/Healy Family #10)

by Jennifer Foor

The fact that Josh loved her makes me frustrated. She’s not a good person. I hope he sees that now.

I lean against the door. “Not until we talk this out. I’ve been thinking about you since we slept together a couple weeks ago. I know you’re angry, but it was only a matter of time. I’ve proved I can keep it a secret, Josh. You don’t have to choose right now. Whenever you want me, I’ll just be a call away. No one has to know.”

I push her against the wall and leave the bathroom. Without causing a fuss, I quickly exit the party. I’ve planted the seed in Tamsyn’s head. She’ll start asking him questions, and pretty soon the truth will come out, even if I’m the one to make it happen.

“Do you still have feelings for her, Josh?” “No.” I lie again. It’s not the kind of feelings where I want to be with her. It’s more of a memory of something that once was. There’s no need for me to worry her. I’m not going anywhere.

“What the fuck do you want? It’s the middle of the day, so I’m obviously busy.” “We need to talk Josh. I’m on the ranch. Meet me at our old spot. It’s important.”

I start to walk back to the tractor when I hear something that drops me to my knees. “Josh, I’m pregnant.”

“It can’t be mine, Liv. Don’t put this shit on me.” “This isn’t me coming to you as an attempt to break up your relationship. I’m scared to death. I haven’t slept in days. I can’t tell anyone. Wes will disown me. Your family will hate me.”

“Get an abortion.” I hate saying it.

“I could lie and say I don’t want you for myself, but you know that’s not the truth. However, I am sorry this happened. I’d never want you because you feel obligated to me.” “Shit!” I yell. “Damn it!”

That one night ruined everything. I didn’t even know what I was doing. It’s not fair. Liv pushed me. She forced me, and now I’m supposed to accept the consequences.

I’d rather pack my shit up and drive away from my life then to have to look her in the eyes and tell her the heartbreaking truth.

We’ve been driving for several hours. For the past few days Josh has been distant. He says everything is okay between us, but I get the feeling that’s not really the truth. I’m doing my best not to worry. We’re living together. We’re planning a future. He tells me he loves me every single day.

I spent three years with a guy who never put me first. He lied and cheated. I've been with Josh for three months and he's everything I've ever looked for in a man. "It may be years away, but I promise I'll still be by your side."

It's been several days since I learned Liv is pregnant with my child, and there hasn't been a single second where I'm able to relax. I can't sleep. When I eat I feel sick. When I'm around Tamsyn all I can think about is losing her.

"So you do know she's pregnant with your child, yet you're here with Tamsyn pretending there ain't shit going on. Does she know, because if I do the math right in my head, according to how far along she is, you were already with Tamsyn."

"Josh?" I hear Tamsyn saying my name from behind us. As I turn to address her she's backing away from me. "Say it isn't true. Please tell me he's mistaken."

I promised I wouldn’t lie. I looked her in the eyes and told her we’d be okay. I cheated. I swore that wouldn’t happen, not with her.

She’s sobbing. Her tears have soaked the front of her sweatshirt. “How could you do this to me? You promised.”

I get close, but she backs away. “Don’t. I can’t be near you. How could you be with that bitch after everything she did to you? How could you look me in the eyes and lie to my face? I don’t even know you, Josh. Everything was a lie.”

“You’re having a baby with Livvy. What the hell, Josh? We talked about protection with other people. We talked about Livvy and how she used you over and over again. You said you hated her, but now I know you were lying through your teeth. You’re so good at it that you believe yourself. What kind of person looks into their lover’s eyes and flat out lies with no remorse?”

“I can’t stay here with you. I can’t look at your family.”

“It’s done, Josh. We’re done and I’m going home.” She storms past me and climbs back on the horse. “I’d appreciate it if you got someone to give you a ride back home next week. I’m taking the truck back to North Carolina. I’ll get my things from the ranch while you’re away so it’s easier on the both of us.”

"Don't. Don't you dare compare what we had to my relationship with Tamsyn. That woman means everything to me. I just watched my possible future look me in the eyes and tell me it's over. You should have seen her. How could I do this?"

"I'm sorry, Josh, but I don't believe you. The truth is, Livvy wants you, and I guess a part of you still wanted her too. You said she was your first love. Some people never get over that."

"I love you too, but I can't forgive you, even if my heart wants me to. You knew I could never forgive you if you cheated on me."

I’m pissed he assumes I wanted this. “You think I’d screw Liv on purpose? She seduced me when I was trashed. I hardly remembered it. That’s why I never said anything. I never wanted this.”

“Does any part of you still love Livvy?” “Anything except that.” She’s quiet. “I guess I have my answer.” “It’s not that. It’s complicated. I don’t want to have any feelings for her. I hate her, but at the same time I guess something made my drunk ass go through with it.”

“I’m saying that there is a chance any residual feelings you have for her may come back to bite you in the ass, and I’m not going to sit around watching it happen.”

“You can’t. Livvy is having your baby. You’ve loved her for years. I’ve only known you for several months. You do the math.”

I can’t sit around knowing someone else is carrying his child; someone who loves him and wants him for herself. I’ll never trust them. It won’t work.

“Fine, I’ll get to the point. I’m going after Josh, and I want to make sure you back off. For the sake of our child I think it’s best if you weren’t still friends.”

“Have some respect for my unborn child.” I hate her. She’s using that baby like I knew she would. “I hope that kid grows up to see you for the monster you are. You don’t deserve to be a part of his family. They’re too good for you.”

“Hey. I didn’t think I’d hear from you this early.” I’m shaking profusely as I explain. “I just met with Livvy. That bitch wants me to…” I stop myself. “You know what, screw this. Don’t call me anymore, Josh. Be a father to your child. Have a good life. I can’t deal with this anymore.”

Liv may think this baby is going to bring us together, but all I have is animosity when it comes to her. Love didn’t give us a baby. If it is my kid, the innocent fetus was made out of spite and jealousy. Anything I ever felt for Liv is gone because of that. She’s cost me too much.

Tamsyn will never come back to me. I’m going to be a father, and I know I have to make the best of the situation, because like they both tried to tell me, I’ve had unresolved feelings for Liv I’ve never been able to understand. I have to stop running, because if I don’t, I’ll never have happiness in my life.

I hate everything about you. I feel sorry for our child for having to grow up with you as a mother, because you don’t know the first thing about love. If you’re smart you’ll give that baby up for adoption and let someone else raise it. Give the kid a chance at normalcy.”

“Please don’t treat me this way, Josh. I didn’t ask to get pregnant.” “No, but you pretty much forced me to fuck you. We had unprotected sex. Come on, do you think I was born yesterday?”

“You coerced a drunk man to say what you wanted to hear. I barely remember it. I sure as hell didn’t know what I was saying.”

Then I see the headlights. They’re turning in my direction, and coming full speed. Josh is darting toward me, screaming for me to run but he’s too far away. I can’t get out of the way in time. It’s going to hit me. That bitch is going to run me over. I’m trying to get to a safe place, but I’m in the open. I’m a sitting duck.

Liv has lost her mind. She’d rather see Tamsyn dead then in my arms, which is pathetic since we’ve never once been a real couple.

She’s attempted to take even more away from me, because she’s psycho. She’s a spoiled rotten little bitch who has always gotten what she wants, all except for my heart. All my love for her left the moment she seduced me.

Liv is impaled. The metal rod is pinning her into the seat. She’s unconscious. Wes has his hands on the top of his head. His eyes are fixed on the scene. This is his little sister. If it were any of mine I’d be in the same dumbfounded stare. He can’t help her. All he can do is watch and pray she’s okay.

My parents start asking questions before we’re off the ranch. “How did this happen? Was it on purpose?” Dad wants to know. “Liv saw Tamsyn and ran her down. It all happened so fast.”

“So we’ve been told. I’m sorry, I just don’t believe it. Frankly, I’m tired of feeling obligated to stand by her. She’s a piece of shit. Look at what she did out of jealousy. If Tamsyn…” I can’t even finish, because saying it makes it possible.

When your daughter left I made it clear I wasn’t interested in Liv. She’s gone crazy. She ran Tamsyn down with her car and crashed into a building. They flew her to the trauma hospital. Apparently it’s life threatening.”

“So all of this is over jealousy?” He’s as shocked as I am.

“I’ll handle Olivia Parish. If she really did drive into my daughter, I’ll be forced to contact the authorities.” “I’m aware, and I support the decision. I want this to be over with. Tamsyn doesn’t need a target on her back for loving me. It’s ridiculous.”

“She’s not that far along, maybe two months. There’s a good chance she didn’t know.”

“She’s alive, Josh.” “And the baby?” The line is quiet. “I’m sorry, Josh. The nurse said Wes asked them to do an ultrasound. There’s no baby.” “What do you mean?” “She must have miscarried.”

“Tamsyn’s parents are pressing charges. She’ll probably be facing attempted murder.”