Night Sky with Exit Wounds

by Ocean Vuong

He’s kissing the back of my wrist as he clutches the wheel. He laughs but his eyes betray him. He laughs despite knowing he has ruined every beautiful thing just to prove beauty cannot change him.

How sweet. That rain. How something that lives only to fall can be nothing but sweet. Water whittled down to intention. Intention into nourishment. Everyone can forget us—as long as you remember.

there’s a lighthouse / some nights you are the lighthouse / some nights the sea / what this means is that I don’t know / desire other than the need / to be shattered & rebuilt / the mind forgetting / the body’s crime of living / again dear Lan or / Lan oi what does it matter

That you were not born but crawled, headfirst— into the hunger of dogs. My son, tell them the body is a blade that sharpens by cutting.

You, drowning between my arms— stay. You, pushing your body into the river only to be left with yourself— stay.

Don’t we touch each other just to prove we are still here? I was still here once.

Your name changed when touched by gravity. Gravity breaking our kneecaps just to show us the sky.

like bones inside the radio. Silly me. I thought love was real & the body imaginary.

You will always remember what you were doing when it hurts the most.

Turn back & find the book I left for us, filled with all the colors of the sky forgotten by gravediggers. Use it. Use it to prove how the stars were always what we knew they were: the exit wounds of every misfired word.

Note to self: If a guy tells you his favorite poet is Jack Kerouac, there’s a very good chance he’s a douchebag. Note to self: If Orpheus were a woman I wouldn’t be stuck down here.

Dear god, if you are a season, let it be the one I passed through to get here. Here. That’s all I wanted to be. I promise.

Don’t worry. Your father is only your father until one of you forgets. Like how the spine won’t remember its wings no matter how many times our knees kiss the pavement. Ocean,

The most beautiful part of your body is where it’s headed. & remember, loneliness is still time spent with the world.