Reaper (Boston Underworld, #2)

by A. Zavarelli

“Looks like we’ve got a couple more bites,” he says as we stand up. “Hope ye’re wide awake, Fitzy. Going to be a long night for the infamous reaper.”

“The doc is on his way,” he tells her. “Sasha can get you some clothes. Tell me what you need. A shower? Pain killers? Name it, sweetheart.”

My hand flies to my mouth and I have to fight the urge to retch. Jesus. How many times have I been in situations like this now? This is exactly why I didn’t want this life. I don’t know how I seem to have forgotten that in my time with Ronan. Now I have a baby to think about too. And no way do I want my kid growing up around this kind of shit.

I glance at her sleeping form beside mine and wonder how the bleeding hell I ever had the good fortune to cross paths with her. For her to see past my issues and care for me anyway.

“I need a baby,” I tell him. He’s silent for a long while, tipping back the glass in his hand and downing the liquor inside it. “I’m not sure I heard ye correctly,” he says. “In fact, I’m sure I didn’t.” “For practice,” I explain. Now he’s looking at me like I’ve gone mad as well. “Don’t tell me you couldn’t do with some too,” I argue. “When’s the last time you were even around a wee baby?” He shrugs. “I haven’t a clue, Fitz.” “Aye.” I nod. “So find us a baby.”

I know who Ronan is and I’m not going to ask him to change. I wouldn’t want him to change. But I want him to know something besides violence. Besides blood. I want him to know what it’s like to have a different sort of family. One besides the mafia.

“No, see these little flips go like so,” Ronan says as he points at the diaper on the table. “I don’t think they do, Fitz,” Crow argues. “They don’t stay like that.” “Maybe you could tape them,” Alexei offers.

😂

Ronan is my life. My breath. My sole reason for existing sometimes. I know it sounds insane, but it’s how I feel. We were put on this earth to find each other. And when he looks at me with those dark brown eyes like he’s doing right now, I know what we have is one of a kind. A supernova. A love so rare, so unparalleled, it shines brighter than any other in existence.

Ronan frowns again and shakes his head. “That isn’t possible, Sasha. Ye’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the good fortune of seeing. That isn’t going to change. No matter how many babies I put inside of you.”

Ronan takes our connected hands and moves them both over my belly, and he finishes the last one for me. “Our baby.”

When she glances back at me in question, I help her up on the table even though everything inside of me is screaming not to. Then I stand right beside her, so if the technician tries anything funny, she’ll have to contend with me.

She instructs Sasha to lay back and smears some sort of goopy stuff onto her belly. It’s already round and I have a hard time looking away whenever I see it. I like knowing that my baby is inside of her. That I was the one who did that to her. I can’t imagine ever liking it with anyone else.

I know it’s going to be a boy anyhow. It has to be. Because I haven’t a bloody clue what to do with a girl.

Lol

When I said that I wanted Ronan to stay home with me, I didn’t really think he’d be able to. But he’s been here for four days, and he’s now officially driving me nuts.

“Ronan.” “Aye?” he glances away from his book, his eyes scanning over me like something might be wrong. “Don’t you have to go back to work?” He blinks at me. And then frowns. “Do ye not want me here with you?”

I love his blatant 'aye’s' 😂

I don’t want you to be so worried about everything, alright? It makes me anxious when you do that.” “But I love you,” is his reply. And I smile, because… well, Ronan.

My life, my love, my breath. May we always have each other, in this life and the next.

I’m pretty sure he’s making that part up, but I go with it, because… Ronan. Always Ronan.

He picked the name. A play on my own. I love it. I love everything about my baby girl. And my husband. And the sight of the two of them together right now, even in my sleep deprived state, still steals my breath away.

I’m not going to lie and say that I have the same effect on her. I don’t. But that’s just Ronan. He is the balm to both of our troubles. Our calm in the storm. Whenever she’s upset, all he has to do is hold her, and she’s okay. I know the feeling well.

❤️

Being a parent has changed him so much. Made him see the emotions he is capable of. He’s the proudest father I’ve ever had the fortune to know.