Lily and the Octopus

by Steven Rowley

“Today me will live in the moment, unless it’s unpleasant, in which case me will eat a cookie.”

I wish I was curled up on the floor in the sun beside Lily. I wish I could lay my hand on her like I did when she was a pup, to let her know that all that worried her would be okay so long as I was there. It’s where I belong instead of here.

I, too, am hiding in plain sight. I am walking through life invisible, skulking like a failure, hoping few people notice me.

Someone once said give a dog food and shelter and treats and they think you are a god, but give a cat the same and they think they are the god. We shared the rest of that ice-cream cone, for I am a god.

To focus, I think of how dogs are witnesses. How they are present for our most private moments, how they are there when we think of ourselves as alone. They witness our quarrels, our tears, our struggles, our fears, and all of our secret behaviors that we have to hide from our fellow humans. They witness without judgment.

Because dogs live in the present. Because dogs don’t hold grudges. Because dogs let go of all of their anger daily, hourly, and never let it fester. They absolve and forgive with each passing minute. Every turn of a corner is the opportunity for a clean slate. Every bounce of a ball brings joy and the promise of a fresh chase.

“If you spend your entire life trying to cheat death, there’s no time left over to embrace life.”

“Dogs don’t remember bad memories.”

“Dogs are always good and full of selfless love. They are undiluted vessels of joy who never, ever deserve anything bad that happens to them.

I force myself to shake the feeling, but not before whispering, “Please don’t ever die.” Which is an impossible request of any living thing.

Yours is by far the harder lot, but mine is happening to me. In this moment, I miss my mother.

once talked about how we manage to live despite the knowledge that we are all going to die. What’s the point of it all? Why bother getting up in the morning when faced with such futility? Or is it the promise of death that inspires life? That we must grab what we can while there is still time. Is it the not knowing if today is the day that keeps us going?

He continues about how what we have can be taken from us. Even what we have that is special. And when it is taken, we will be tested.

To die would be an awfully big adventure. But it’s not true. Life is the real adventure. Having the hurricane inside you is the true adventure.

A heart is judged not by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.