More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory (More Than Two Essentials)

by Franklin Veaux

Be prepared for the possibility that your children, particularly preteens or teenagers, will reject your polyamory outright. It may take them years to understand and accept. In fact, polyamory may become part of the focus of their teenage rebellion. They may hurl toxic judgments at you, as happens to lots of parents with teenagers; you've just given them a special target. The fact that it's to be expected—and ultimately not about you—doesn't mean it won't hurt. Have faith that by the time they are adults, they are likely to come around.

"If you and I are going to work together, there are some things you need to know about me. One is that I am polyamorous. I have multiple sexual partners, with the knowledge of everyone involved. I am aware of STI risks and I take care to talk to all my partners about our health boundaries. We take safer-sex measures as appropriate. I am also involved in consensual BDSM activities with some of my partners. This means there may be times when there are marks on my body. This does not indicate I am in an abusive relationship. If you have any questions or concerns, please ask me now, and I would be happy to talk to you about them. If you have a problem with this, please let me know, as I don't believe we will be a good fit for each other."

They did the hard work, they cared about each other, they didn't give in, they reasoned with their overpowering emotions. They set compassionate boundaries. They honored their loves' agency even when they were afraid of losing what they valued most. They faced their own deepest fears for the sake of themselves and the people they cared about. Being awesome is such a valuable skill to cultivate that we offer it here, along with more love, as a key takeaway from this book. When faced with a challenging situation, the simple pledge to yourself to be awesome will carry you and your relationships very far indeed.