Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

by Chris Voss

I]t is self-evident that people are neither fully rational nor completely selfish, and that their tastes are anything but stable.”

Notice we said “It sounds like . . .” and not “I’m hearing that . . .” That’s because the word “I” gets people’s guard up. When you say “I,” it says you’re more interested in yourself than the other person, and it makes you take personal responsibility for the words that follow—and the offense they might cause.

“No” is often a decision, frequently temporary, to maintain the status quo. Change is scary, and “No” provides a little protection from that scariness.