Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression

by Robert Duff

Dear ___________, You are getting this letter because you are an important person in my life, and I want you to understand more about what I’m going through. I know that I can be difficult and I’m sorry for that. I know that I probably don’t need to be sorry, but I am. In fact, I feel guilty for feeling sorry in the first place. Ridiculous, I know. That’s how my brain works because I have depression… and yes, my mind is an exhausting place. I want to give you this letter to help you understand a little more about what I am going through, ask for some grace as I work this crap out, and to suggest a few ways that you can best support me if you are willing. The first thing I want you to know is that I am trying. Or, rather … I am trying to try. You see, 1 and 1 don’t always add up to 2 with depression. There are legitimate biological differences between me and someone who doesn’t live with depression, which makes this a really difficult uphill battle. I am literally fighting against my biology which tries to tell me that none of this is worth it and that I shouldn’t even try. When people say things like, “Just think positively,” or “It’s all in your head,” it does not help at all. I know it’s in my head, but unfortunately it is not as easy as flipping a switch and suddenly feeling better. I know that probably have 1000 reasons to be happy, and sometimes I feel like the worst person ever for being so down all the time despite them. Fighting off depression is not a simple...