Without a Doubt

by Marcia Clark

knew that the only chance I had of coming off with any dignity was to stay calm and keep silent. I thought, If I just concentrate on my job, I can get through this. They’ll get tired of me. I can ride this out. But the tabs didn’t get tired of me. In September I picked up new rumblings: the National Enquirer was working on a story that I had been a battered wife. They’d apparently turned up a pair of backgammon promoters who were claiming that once, during a tournament-organizing event, Gaby got angry and threw a chair at me. They’d also found some dingbat who’d once been a neighbor of Gaby’s and mine. She was claiming that I walked around in long-sleeved dresses all the time so that no one would see the bruises from Gaby’s beatings. The news threw me into a state of near panic. Of course, I knew what the truth was. Gaby never threw anything at me in public. His pride would never have allowed him to let people see that we fought. We did all that in private. But even during those arguments behind closed doors he never beat me. Never. He pushed, I shoved, we wrestled. That’s as far as it ever went. Don’t misunderstand me. The pushing and the shoving were bad enough. But I always gave as good as I got. It wasn’t right to let Gaby take the rap when I’d done so much provoking. I was not a battered woman! I was not a victim!