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Ron finally cracked, flinging a large, slippery crocodile heart at Malfoy, which hit him in the face and caused Snape to take fifty points from Gryffindor.
‘Did you hear about the Dementors, too?’ said Harry with difficulty. Lupin looked at him quickly. ‘Yes, I did. I don’t think any of us have seen Professor Dumbledore that angry.
‘The Dementors affect you worse than the others because there are horrors in your past that the others don’t have.’
Snow had started to fall outside the windows, and the castle was very still and quiet.
‘Well … when we were in our first year, Harry – young, carefree and innocent –’ Harry snorted. He doubted whether Fred and George had ever been innocent.
‘So he hauled us off to his office and started threatening us with the usual –’ ‘– detention –’ ‘– disembowelment –’ ‘– and we couldn’t help noticing a drawer in one of his filing cabinets marked Confiscated and Highly Dangerous.’
‘This little beauty’s taught us more than all the teachers in this school.’
‘I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.’
Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present THE MARAUDER’S MAP
‘Urgh, no, Harry won’t want one of those, they’re for vampires, I expect,’ Hermione was saying. ‘How about these?’ said Ron, shoving a jar of Cockroach Cluster under Hermione’s nose. ‘Definitely not,’ said Harry. Ron nearly dropped the jar.
And the Acid Pops? Fred gave me one of those when I was seven – it burnt a hole right through my tongue. I remember Mum walloping him with her broomstick.’
‘Happy Christmas!’
Sirius Black was the last I’d have thought … I mean, I remember him when he was a boy at Hogwarts. If you’d told me then what he was going to become, I’d have said you’d had too much mead.’
they used to make me laugh. Quite the double act, Sirius Black and James Potter!’
think we’ve ever had such a pair of troublemakers –’ ‘I dunno,’ chuckled Hagrid. ‘Fred and George Weasley could give ’em a run fer their money.’
Sirius Black blasting Peter Pettigrew (who resembled Neville Longbottom) into a thousand pieces.
completely empty except for Ron, who was eating a Peppermint Toad
Hagrid’s cabin looked like an iced cake.
‘Er – shall I make a cup of tea?’ said Ron. Harry stared at him. ‘It’s what my mum does whenever someone’s upset,’ Ron muttered, shrugging.
Hagrid blew his nose on a handkerchief the size of a tablecloth
‘Er – how are the Flobberworms?’ ‘Dead,’ said Hagrid gloomily. ‘Too much lettuce.’
Crookshanks sprang from Seamus’s bed, right at Ron’s chest. ‘GET – HIM – OUT – OF – HERE!’ Ron bellowed, as Crookshanks’s claws ripped his pyjamas and Scabbers attempted a wild escape over his shoulder.
‘Merry Christmas!’ said Dumbledore,
Which of you left his seat first? Which?’ ‘Dunno,’ said Ron, looking uneasily at Harry. ‘I doubt it will make much difference,’ said Professor McGonagall coldly, ‘unless a mad axe-man is waiting outside the doors to slaughter the first into the Entrance Hall.’ Even Ron laughed. Professor Trelawney looked highly affronted.
‘Expecto patronum,’
‘They’re off, and the big excitement this match is the Firebolt which Harry Potter is flying for Gryffindor. According to Which Broomstick, the Firebolt’s going to be the broom of choice for the national teams at this year’s World Championship –’ ‘Jordan, would you mind telling us what’s going on in the match?’ interrupted Professor McGonagall’s voice. ‘Right you are, Professor – just giving a bit of background information. The Firebolt, incidentally, has a built-in auto-brake and –’ ‘Jordan!’
‘Gryffindor lead by eighty points to zero, and look at that Firebolt go! Potter’s really putting it through its paces now. See it turn – Chang’s Comet is just no match for it. The Firebolt’s precision-balance is really noticeable in these long –’ ‘JORDAN! ARE YOU BEING PAID TO ADVERTISE FIREBOLTS? GET ON WITH THE COMMENTARY!’
Down below he could hear the roars of the Gryffindors in the crowd. ‘That’s my boy!’ Wood kept yelling. Alicia, Angelina and Katie had all kissed Harry, and Fred had him in a grip so tight Harry felt as though his head would come off.
‘I can’t, Harry, I’ve still got four hundred and twenty-two pages to read!’ said Hermione, now sounding slightly hysterical.
There was utter silence, broken by the smallest of terrified squeaks. Neville Longbottom, trembling from head to fluffy-slippered toes, raised his hand slowly into the air.
Hedwig got his attention by nipping him sharply on the wrist. ‘Ouch! Oh – thanks, Hedwig …’
‘What would your head have been doing in Hogsmeade, Potter?’ said Snape softly. ‘Your head is not allowed in Hogsmeade. No part of your body has permission to be in Hogsmeade.’
‘My dad didn’t strut,’ said Harry,
‘Mr Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people’s business.’
‘Mr Prongs agrees with Mr Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.’
‘Mr Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a Professor.’
‘Mr Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.’
but Hermione got there first – SMACK! She had slapped Malfoy around the face with all the strength she could muster. Malfoy staggered. Harry, Ron, Crabbe and Goyle stood flabbergasted as Hermione raised her hand again.
‘Don’t you dare call Hagrid pathetic, you foul – you evil –’ ‘Hermione!’ said Ron weakly, and he tried to grab her hand as she swung it back. ‘Get off, Ron!’
‘THIRTY–ZERO! TAKE THAT, YOU DIRTY, CHEATING –’ ‘Jordan, if you can’t commentate in an unbiased way –!’ ‘I’m telling it like it is, Professor!’
Flint alongside her – poke him in the eye, Angelina! – it was a joke, Professor, it was a joke
But Flint had scored; there was an eruption of cheers from the Slytherin end and Lee swore so badly that Professor McGonagall tried to tug the magical megaphone away from him.
‘YOU CHEATING SCUM!’ Lee Jordan was howling into the megaphone, dancing out of Professor McGonagall’s reach. ‘YOU FILTHY, CHEATING B–’ Professor McGonagall didn’t even bother to tell him off. She was actually shaking her fist in Malfoy’s direction;
Professor McGonagall was sobbing harder even than Wood, wiping her eyes with an enormous Gryffindor flag;
Even Fred and George Weasley had been spotted working; they were about to take their O.W.Ls (Ordinary Wizarding Levels). Percy was getting ready to sit his N.E.W.Ts (Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests),
‘Has either of you seen my copy of Numerology and Grammatica?’ ‘Oh, yeah, I borrowed it for a bit of bedtime reading,’ said Ron,
‘She hasn’t gone to get it?’ Ron said, staring after her. She had. Hermione returned a quarter of an hour later with the silvery Cloak folded carefully under her robes. ‘Hermione, I don’t know what’s got into you lately!’ said Ron, astounded. ‘First you hit Malfoy, then you walk out on Professor Trelawney –’ Hermione looked rather flattered.
‘You’re the cleverest witch of your age I’ve ever met, Hermione.’
‘Of course I know how to work it,’ said Lupin, waving his hand impatiently. ‘I helped write it. I’m Moony – that was my friends’ nickname for me at school.’
Sirius is Padfoot. Peter is Wormtail. James was Prongs.’
