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We are that tree, she thought, holding the richly scented sprig to her nose. We defy death, to grow.
If anyone is going to kill you, it will be me. Understand?” Radu nodded, snuggling into her shoulder. “Will you protect me?” “Until the day I kill you.”
A dragon did not flee its land in the middle of the night like a criminal. A dragon burned everything around herself until it was purified in ash.
He had made the critical error of loving his children—or Lada, at least—enough that they could be used against him.
Because if she did not care what they showed her, or how they hurt her, then these men, these ridiculous tutors, this obscene court, had only one way to control her: by killing her.
“I lost,” Lada said, hand against her head. “No,” Nicolae answered, draping an arm across her shoulders. “I am pretty sure that means you won.”
A smile finally broke through Radu’s concern. It lit his face with a beauty to rival the ceiling. “You would not let anyone else kill me.”
These two are so fucked up. I loved reading about fucked up families.
And then, seeing the relief shining in Mehmed’s black eyes, Radu knew what he hoped for: He hoped for the best for his friend. Regardless of what that meant for himself.
clean. The fact that her skirts were stained with blood did not seem to occur to her.
Lada remembered the sensation of the dagger meeting the resistance of flesh, the unyielding bone that made it turn course, always seeking more, deeper, deeper….
But there are many ways to be powerful. There is power in stillness. There is power in watching, waiting, saying the right thing at the right time to the right person. There is power in being a woman—oh yes, power in these bodies you gaze upon with derision.”
Laughter teased her voice, but there was violence behind her eyes.
Huma’s tone resumed its normal lingering, teasing state. “You two are very good friends to my son.” Radu beamed. They had made the right choice. But then Huma continued: “And very, very bad ones. Pray he never finds out what you have done today.”
There was no love between Lada and Mehmed that Radu and Mehmed did not also share.
“There are some things it is not acceptable to want, but there are ways around it, and those who will look the other way. And then there are some things that it is impossible to want. Even the mere act of wanting, if noticed by the wrong people, can get you killed.” He gave a heavy, meaningful look at the spot where Mehmed had been. “Be more careful.”
All he knew was that there was some light, some pull, some fire that Mehmed carried, and Radu only felt truly alive when he was nearby.
He wanted Mehmed to look at him the way he had looked at Lada. He wanted Mehmed to kiss him the way he had kissed Lada. He wanted to be Lada. No, he did not. He wanted to be himself, and he wanted Mehmed to love him for being himself. His question, the question of Mehmed, was finally answered, piercing him and leaving him shaking, silent, on the floor. He did not want this answer.
This love would break him. Unless Lada broke him now.
“Do not lie to me. You love him like a flower loves the sun.”
And could he ever be generous enough to wish his sister happiness with the man they both loved?
Mehmed remained blind to the true depths of Radu’s love—and to how much Lada missed her brother.
But no one had saved that boy in the forest, and Radu cried for him, wishing that someone had.
Holding her maidenhood to herself was the only way she knew to protect herself, to keep her heart from becoming fully his.
“I prefer your face veiled,” Nicolae said to Petru as the young man ripped his outer clothes off. “I prefer your mouth shut,” Petru retorted.
He held a sword as casually as a breath.
No one could take me from you. Please, Radu thought, please know what I am saying.
“I am so, so sorry.” Lazar gave a lazy, lopsided smile. It broke Radu’s heart. “You always choose him.” “I always will,” Radu whispered.
