The Comprehensive ENFP Survival Guide
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creative thinkers who are skilled at contriving novel solutions to complex problems.
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loyal and driven e...
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highly enthusiastic and are particularly adept at riling up and motivating other workers.
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difficulty prioritizing tasks, as they tend to gravitate toward the ones that they find the most interesting, regardless of their urgency.
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Break long-term tasks down into a series of mini-challenges. 
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Hold yourself publicly accountable for following through on projects. 
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elect to hold themselves publicly accountable for completing mini-tasks. Because the ENFP hates letting others down, he or she is likely to feel particularly motivated to complete a task if others are holding them accountable for
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“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently and die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.” –Robert A. Heinlein
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A healthy ENFP uses their ability to see things from various points of view as a method of empathizing deeply with others.
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An unhealthy ENFP shames or looks down upon others for not abiding by their personal set of morals.
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A healthy ENFP makes reasonable compromises to make their loved ones happy.
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Supportive A healthy ENFP aims to inspire his or her loved ones and genuinely wants to see them reach their full potential.
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The term ‘Shadow Functions’ as we will use it in the following chapter is used to describe the reversal of one’s initial four-function stacking that occurs when a given type experiences stress.
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introverted sensing will take over in times of extreme stress and single-handedly ruin your life.
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inconsistent lifesaving device.
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Our first reaction to everything is to envision and theorize our way out of trouble.
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when we’re encountering trouble, Ne riles. After getting fired or dumped or duped, the ENFP may actually feel more inspired than they do drained. Their first instinct will be to envision the various possibilities that lie ahead – new dreams, new goals, new opportunities that were previously not available to them.
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An ENFP using their shadow functions is an anxious, irrational ENFP who may ironically believe that they are behaving more practically and logically than ever.
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take back control of their file room and stop filing everything under “DANGER.”
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Engaging introverted sensing in a healthy manner means: Getting a strict eight hours of sleep each night. Engaging in consistent, regular exercise. Eating a healthy, balanced diet. Spending a minimum of thirty minutes per day outdoors, in the sunlight (if possible).
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A dominant-tertiary loop occurs when an ENFP ceases to consult their introverted feeling function and moves directly from their extroverted intuition to their extroverted thinking. It’s
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An ENFP in a dominant-tertiary loop will oscillate quickly between their idea-generating function and their reasoning function – meaning they will become masters of explaining away their newest endeavor and will be wholly uninterested in receiving contrary feedback. They may lose their usual sense of compassion and snap back at those who question them, shutting their arguments down with indisputable logic. They will become unconcerned with the interpersonal consequences of their action and may seem uncharacteristically cold or detached in their reasoning.
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Placing blame on others. Since an ENFP in a dominant-tertiary loop lacks the ability to introspect, they will attribute any problems they may face to their external environment. This becomes particularly problematic in the realm of interpersonal relationships.
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To escape from a dominant-tertiary loop, the ENFP needs to re-engage their introverted feeling. This function acts as a mediator between their dominant and tertiary functions, allowing them to balance out extroverted intuition’s crazy ideas with introspective personal judgments.
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ENFPs are extremely moody creatures.
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Create a chart or agenda that separates each day of the week into approximately 2-hour blocks of time. For one week, record what you are doing at each point in time, as well as your mood on a scale of 1 (Depressed) – 5 (Elated).
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This exercise plays on your extroverted thinking as a measure of nurturing your introverted feeling. Rather than “Riding the wave” of your erratic emotions, you are learning to control and gently alter the wave – giving you a better sense of emotional regulation.
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ENFPs tend to form challenging, stimulating friendships with intuitive thinking types.
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lack the warmth of their friendships with idealist types, ENFPs appreciate the ways in which their NT friends refuse to coddle them and instead push them to grow into better versions of themselves.
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ENFPs tend to form reliable, mutually respectful friendships with sensing, judging types. These personalities (ISFJs, ESFJs, ISTJs and ESTJs)
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In order to stay satisfied long-term, the ENFP needs to know that they are with someone whom they can progress alongside. This type is best suited with a partner who also places a high value on self-improvement and who is constantly searching for ways to advance both individually and as a couple.
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They are best paired with a self-assured, independent individual, who isn’t threatened by the ENFP’s need to run off and explore on their own.
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Warning to Other Types: Don’t Date an ENFP
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As a rule, ENFPs almost always see the best in people. Introverted feeling is quick to pick out what it loves about someone and then extroverted intuition has a tendency to run wild making generalizations about him or her.
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They may find themselves disappointed by their partner’s reality if they are regularly indulging in fantasies about him or her. They may even take this out on their partner, covertly blaming them for not living up to the expectations that the ENFP has mentally cultivated for them.
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When they feel let down by their partner, the ENFP ought to take a moment to reflect on the standard they were holding their partner to. Is one that their partner actually committed to living up to, or is it one that the ENFP was projecting onto them?
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This whimsical type prefers fantasy to reality – which means that if they’re feeling restless inside of a relationship, they’ll turn to fantasizing about alternate relationships they could be having instead.
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The ENFP needs to realize that just because their extroverted intuition is running amok and their introverted feeling is supporting it, their extroverted thinking does not have to act on their feelings.
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Because their primary decision-making function is a feeling function, they are usually quick to assume that their feelings reflect a deep truth about themselves, and they therefore must act on those feelings.
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as the ENFP develops their extroverted thinking and introverted sensing, they will become better at noticing their feelings and then releasing them, rather than acting on them. Many ENFPs have reported mindfuln...
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Extroverted intuition is a powerful function that can deteriorate a relationship when it turns its eye outward, but it can also go a long way toward saving a relationship if it focuses its sights on creating a happier, healthier connection
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Whether they are aware of it or not, ENFPs are natural manipulators. Introverted feeling provides startlingly accurate insights into what motivates people and extroverted intuition is constantly on the hunt for shortcuts or workarounds of any kind.
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ENFP must strive to reflect their feelings and thoughts to others not just as they exist in the moment, but as they exist on a greater scale.
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The ENFP sees fixing the relationship as a challenge that they can rise to if they simply try hard enough.
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ENFP will need to exhaust every available option for making the relationship work before their extroverted intuition grows tired and finally allows introverted feeling and extroverted thinking to evaluate the true state of affairs and call the relationship quits.
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For ENFPs, the decision itself is the hard part. Once you’ve made it, your extroverted intuition will jump back into play and make sure that you’re making the absolute most out of whatever option you’ve chosen.
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More than a few ENFPs have fallen victim to a dominant-tertiary loop in the wake of a painful breakup. Rather than processing their feelings about the relationship ending, the ENFP may distract themselves by planning new adventures, accomplishing new goals and completely avoiding any semblance of alone time.
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When it comes to dealing with conflict, ENFPs tend to naturally default to one of three confrontation styles: Explosive, Accommodating, or Avoidant.
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many choose avoidant until they reach a breaking point and turn to explosive, or vice versa.
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the ENFP ought to work towards achieving an Assertive confrontation style. This style allows them to express their feelings in a firm yet fair manner, without offending the other party or compromising their own desires.