Not I, Not other than I: The Life And Teachings Of Russel Williams

by Russel Williams

Alcoholism and Awakening I was in an alcohol treatment centre, at 38 years of age. I was searching for something, I did not know what, and the alcohol treated my illness. I was irritable, restless, discontented, but with a bottle of brandy I was fine. I am still very ignorant in many fields, but I have had several insights, one of which saved my life. Some people with my illness, alcoholism, never have that insight, even though they are more intelligent than me. Who, or what, decides who receives the insight and who doesn’t? I think – and perhaps at a later date you may see this for yourself – that when you compare yourself with the others, there is a ‘bent’ in a particular direction which they don’t have. And that bent is not for physicality at all. It is something of a different nature. You are not wholly aware of what it is, but you feel there is something there which you have to discover. Now this indicates that previous lives have been working in that direction, towards what you have today. It may well be the very thing that drove you to alcohol. I can only describe myself in this respect: early on there was something I knew I ought to know. I did not know what it was; I didn’t know how to look for it and it was very frustrating. The more I searched, the more frustrating it became. It could easily have led me to alcohol, but fortunately it didn’t. The war came along, and took me in a different direction. The problem was postponed, and as a result of certain experience...