Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People

by Jackson MacKenzie

PTSD.

Exposure to a traumatic event. Yes, relationship abuse from someone you love is traumatic and life-altering.

Persistent reexperiencing. Yes, through the “mean and sweet” cycle, you were repeatedly subjected to their abuse.

Persistent avoidance and emotional numbing. Yes, this is the coping mechanism you adopted...

Persistent symptoms of increased arousal not present before. Yes, you begin to feel these during the delayed emotions stage, ultima...

Duration of symptoms for more than one month. Yes, most survivors will require anywhere from twelve to twenty-four months of recovery bef...

Significant impairment. You tell me—how do you feel right about now? I’d say “impair...

Those who have encountered a psychopath, sociopath, or narcissist often feel as if they have been touched by pure evil—haunted by a constant anxiety, self-doubt, and lingering darkness that can’t quite be explained. It feels as if your life force has been drained away, and you become numb to the things that once made you happy.

You realize that you were charmed, duped, used, and discarded—and there was absolutely nothing you could have done to avoid it. Just when you thought you’d hit rock bottom, the psychopath came along and took away what little remaining dignity you had. They made sure your behavior was as hysterical and embarrassing as possible. And no matter how terribly they treated you, it always felt like they were “winning”

You look back at every instance when you were begging and pleading, now aware that they were silently enjoying your reactions. You recall each time they called you crazy and jealous, now aware that you were right all along—they were actively cheating on you.

With time, you’ll come to see that the frantic, broken, anxious, unhinged version of you was nothing to be ashamed of. You were simply a kindhearted person reacting to a very unkind situation. Those outbursts and behaviors were the result of your most admirable qualities being exploited and eroded.

Your spirit has transformed, becoming more sensitive and vulnerable to sadness.

How many other things have become easier to cope with because of this whole experience? Most survivors find better friendships, healthier relationships, self-respect, boundaries, and a broader connection with humanity.

Negativity can work like a rolling snowball sometimes, and it’s important to remember how far you’ve come. Give yourself some credit for pulling yourself out from the ashes. You survived the darkness. You do not need to fear it anymore.