Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus (Newsflesh Trilogy, #3.4)

by Mira Grant

Coincidence doesn’t really exist. We see connections where there are none, and ignore all the connections that were never made. The story sounds so much better when we only talk about the miracles that happen. —Georgia Mason

since the Masons left. Mad science may be a little more fun and fancy-free than the boring mainstream kind, but that doesn’t make it exciting on a day-to-day basis. If anything, mad science steals the excitement from a lot of things that should be exciting, like surprise fires, stabbing people with needles, and the occasional ceiling octopus. “I’m not sure why our guest isn’t dead,” said Jill, looking up from her computer. “If you told me that this was all a joke, and that you’d given me a faked-up blood sample to see whether I was paying attention, I would believe you. I’m just saying.” She paused, watching me expectantly. I raised my eyebrows and waited. Jill’s face fell. It was a complicated expression, beginning with the muscles around her eyes and finishing when her chin dipped slightly forward, almost hitting her chest. “My God, you’re serious,” she said. “This is a living person’s blood.” “Now you’re getting it,” I said. “Report. Now. Before I lose patience.” “Um, right. Okay. Her iron levels are ridiculously low—if she’s not normally anemic, she definitely is now. She’s malnourished. I don’t think she’s had a decent meal in weeks, which is probably how she’s been able to medicate herself this far.” I raised my eyebrows for a second time. “Medicate herself…?” I prompted. “You said she came here looking for pills, right? Well, there’s a reason for that. This girl is drugged to the gills, and some of the shit she’s taking I’ve never seen on the open market. I mean, sh...

“Everyone knows I’m crazy.” “And everyone knows I’m a mad scientist. It’s amazing what everyone knows, isn’t it? Usually what everyone knows is insulting and sort of ableist, because the people who know everything always seem to think of themselves as being perfectly normal.