Scrappy Little Nobody

by Anna Kendrick

Don’t try to participate in anyone else’s idea of what is supposed to happen in a relationship. You will fail.

With my favorite directors, at least four times per shoot I’ll think, That is a fucking terrible idea, let’s do it.

My favorite thing to do is whisper “He beats me” to the barista when Landon turns his back. He does not find it funny at all.

Some dudes like to say that men have the instinct to spread their seed, while women are supposed to protect their reproductive organs from everything but the best sperm for the strongest potential offspring. By that logic every woman in the world should be saving herself for Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and never let any of you shitheads touch her. Seriously, you guys should stop using that argument.

(You can go your whole life as a happy, sane person, and then Kendall Jenner comes up and you wonder why you want to crawl into a hole and rot. No one should be compared to Kendall Jenner. It’s cruel and unusual.)

Ninety percent of the people I’ve worked with who are disruptive or lazy or unskilled or addicts or likely to throw a tantrum are men. Ninety percent of the ones who get called “difficult” are women.

I’d been awake for thirty-two hours, but I still ordered a burger and a vodka, ’cause sometimes you can’t call it a day until something good happens.