She's Six Steps Away: Get Past Approach Anxiety and Meet the Woman You Want

by Eric Disco

Next, find a place nearby where you can sit alone and relax to read through the rest of this exercise. Let’s pretend that this woman is sitting alone at a table in a café reading a book. There are empty seats at her table. Visualize this in your mind: Let’s say I told you to get up, walk over to her, say, “Hey, ...

Don’t actually walk up to her. Just picture in your mind that you are actually doing it. Ho...

We are going to walk you through identifying exactly what you feel. If you aren’t feeling any apprehension or worry, you could go so far as to talk with her. But just visualizing talking ...

Physical Sensations Try to visualize that you are about to get up, walk over to this women, and talk with her. Are you feeling anything in your body? Instead of trying to name the overall feeling, like “nervous” or “anxious,” try to notice the specific physical sensations in your body. Think about specific locations for these feelings, like your stomach, your chest, your throat, or your limbs.

Do you feel muscle tightness or heaviness in the chest, throat, or anywhere else in your body? Do you feel anything in your stomach, like butterflies? Do you feel your heart beating faster? Is there a change in your breathing? Is it faster, slower, or shallower? Is it difficult to breathe? Are your facial muscles tense? Is your mouth dry? Do you feel any hotness on the skin? Is your skin flushed, almost as if embarrassed? Are your palms sweaty? Do you feel lightheaded?

Changes in Behavior Visualize that you are standing up from where you’re sitting. You start walking over to her. Are you feeling any differently now? Are you walking faster than normal or slower than normal? Are you walking faster or slower than if you were going over to get a napkin? Do you feel jittery? Do you feel a loss of control over your limbs? Are you moving your hands or doing any fidgeting? Are your hands in your pockets? Any change in your movement? Do you feel a sense of paralysis? Do you feel like you can’t function properly or that there’s a loss of limb movement or an “icy” feeling in your veins? Do you feel a loss of muscle tension?