Dash

by Shantel Tessier

‘promise’ is just a word spoken to prevent the inevitable that no one wants to see coming. I promise I love you. I promise you’re my everything. I promise not to hurt you. Do you see a pattern? Promise makes you think that you have a chance. A candy-coated word to sweeten the pot.

“I fell in love with him because of the way he made me feel. Not my feelings toward him, but my feelings toward myself. I lit up when he walked into a room. I had a smile on my face that wouldn’t go away. My skin would tingle whenever he would look at me.” Her eyes drop to the cut on my lip, and I lick it nervously. Her eyes meet mine once again, and she continues. “I loved myself first. I fell in love with the person who I was when he was around. And in loving myself, I fell in love with him.”

“Give love a chance. It doesn’t matter if your heart breaks a hundred times. You’ll eventually open your heart to that one person who makes all that pain go away. It’ll be that one love that’s worth it.”

The way her bruised and stitched face looked. She looked so broken—so not herself. And that’s what made me so mad. That was why I yelled at her in front of everyone.

“Beating the shit out of your daughter’s ex is stupid? The bastard deserved to die for what he did to her.” “I agree,” he says without hesitation. “That was why I knew you would do what you did. But I hate to tell you; I just came from the hospital, and he isn’t going to die.” “Shame. I knew I should have hit him some more,” I mumble. “Then you would be spending your life in prison, son. For murder.”

“You love her?” he questions as if he’s surprised. I fall back down on the bench and sigh. “More than anything.” He runs his hand down his shaved face as he looks at me with an expressionless face.

“My father raised me to always say what I feel. He would say, ‘Sweet pea, people can’t read your mind. In order for them to understand what you want, you have to tell them.’” She chuckles to herself. “Rodger took that part of me away. To him, women weren’t allowed to have opinions or wants.” She looks up at me. “I was afraid to tell you how I felt, but you weren’t. You were much stronger than I was. But if you just give me the chance, I will show that I can be just as strong as you.”

kiss her desperately. As if she’s air and I’ve been drowning. Because

lift the small piece of paper to my lips and kiss it, leaving what little lip-gloss I had on the card that he had given me with the flowers. I then place it in his casket as I whisper, “I said yes.” And then with a broken heart, I turn around and start to walk away, but a little boy stands in front of me. Tears run down his face as he looks up at me with bloodshot eyes.

This broke me.

Dash taught me that you’re never guaranteed tomorrow. And yesterday is never enough.

My life changed once again after reading those two pink lines. I had to be strong; I had to survive because Dash wasn’t dead after all.

He had left me with a gift, and I was afraid to lose it. Her room is covered in pictures of Dash and me. Some are of him winning his race.