Dash

by Shantel Tessier

I couldn’t take it anymore; I can’t hide who I really am. I am a smart-mouthed bitch who has anger issues and a right hook to prove it.

Why did I have to drink so much last night? Everyone knows that alcohol is only a temporary fix. All you are left with the morning after is a badass headache. You’re still gonna remember the heartache and betrayal.

In the end, ‘promise’ is just a word spoken to prevent the inevitable that no one wants to see coming. I promise I love you. I promise you’re my everything. I promise not to hurt you. Do you see a pattern? Promise makes you think that you have a chance. A candy-coated word to sweeten the pot.

“I fell in love with him because of the way he made me feel. Not my feelings toward him, but my feelings toward myself. I lit up when he walked into a room. I had a smile on my face that wouldn’t go away.

“I loved myself first. I fell in love with the person who I was when he was around. And in loving myself, I fell in love with him.”

“Give love a chance. It doesn’t matter if your heart breaks a hundred times. You’ll eventually open your heart to that one person who makes all that pain go away. It’ll be that one love that’s worth it.”

But I realize that I’m at my best when I’m with you. I feel strong when you hold my hand. I feel loved when you cuddle with me. I love the way you make me

feel about myself. Not what you try to make me be.”

I wished that it had been my mother or my father who had died, not my grandfather.

I’ve never understood what someone goes through when they say they have depression. Until now. It breaks you down to the point you feel crippled. My body has turned against me, and I don’t even fight it.

Dash taught me that you’re never guaranteed tomorrow. And yesterday is never enough.