Dash

by Shantel Tessier

“I choose you, Tabatha. You’re better than any dream I have ever had. Because you are real. You’re right here in front of me.”

“This is a risk that could cost me everything.” He leans back in his chair as he stares up at me. “You’re right.” He nods his head. “It could cost you your life.”

‘promise’ is just a word spoken to prevent the inevitable that no one wants to see coming. I promise I love you. I promise you’re my everything. I promise not to hurt you. Do you see a pattern? Promise makes you think that you have a chance. A candy-coated word to sweeten the pot.

Dash, I understand what you have to do. I hope you understand what I have to do. Tabatha

Growing up, my father always told me that we have choices in life that will make you weak or make you stronger.

“I fell in love with him because of the way he made me feel. Not my feelings toward him, but my feelings toward myself. I lit up when he walked into a room. I had a smile on my face that wouldn’t go away. My skin would tingle whenever he would look at me.” Her eyes drop to the cut on my lip, and I lick it nervously. Her eyes meet mine once again, and she continues. “I loved myself first. I fell in love with the person who I was when he was around. And in loving myself, I fell in love with him.”

“Give love a chance. It doesn’t matter if your heart breaks a hundred times. You’ll eventually open your heart to that one person who makes all that pain go away. It’ll be that one love that’s worth it.”

I want him.

“My father raised me to always say what I feel. He would say, ‘Sweet pea, people can’t read your mind. In order for them to understand what you want, you have to tell them.’” She chuckles to herself. “Rodger took that part of me away. To him, women weren’t allowed to have opinions or wants.” She looks up at me. “I was afraid to tell you how I felt, but you weren’t. You were much stronger than I was. But if you just give me the chance, I will show that I can be just as strong as you.”

Winning that race last week made me realize that was only half of my dream. The other half was having her there with me.

I once told Tabatha that your dreams change as you grow older. And my dream is to be her husband. To be the father of her kids. My dream is to belong to her and only her for the rest of my life. I hope she understands that only she can make my dream come true when I ask her tonight in front of the world.