Psycho-Cybernetics: Updated and Expanded (The Psycho-Cybernetics Series)
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no one reacts to “things as they are,” but to his own mental images.
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Most of the time the other person’s reaction or position is not taken in order to make us suffer, nor to be hardheaded, or malicious, but because he “understands” and interprets the situation differently from us. He is merely responding appropriately to what—to him—seems to be the truth about the situation.
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FACT VS. OPINION Many times, we create confusion when we add our own opinion to facts and come up with the wrong conclusion.
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Often the difference between a successful man and a failure is not one’s better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on his ideas, to take a calculated risk—and to act.
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If we wait until we are absolutely certain and sure before we act, we will never do anything. Any time you act you can be wrong. Any decision you make can turn out to be the wrong one. But we must not let this deter us from going after the goal we want.
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risk making mistakes, risk failure, risk being humiliated. A step in the wrong direction is better than staying ‘on the spot’ all your life.
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Once you’re moving forward you can correct your c...
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A man who will not take a chance on himself must bet on something.
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Be willing to make a few mistakes, to suffer a little pain to get what you want. Don’t sell yourself short.
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many potential heroes, both men and women, live out their lives in self-doubt.
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Daily living also requires courage—and by practicing courage in little things, we develop the power and talent to act courageously in more important matters.
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Successful personalities have some interest in and regard for other people. They have a respect for others’ problems and needs.
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our feelings about ourselves tend to correspond to our feelings about other people.
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When a person begins to feel more compassion about others, he invariably begins to feel more compassion toward himself.
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with what judgment he considers others, he himself is unwittingly judged in his own mind.
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One of the best known methods of getting over a feeling of guilt is to stop condemning other people in your own mind—stop judging them—stop blaming them and hating them for their mistakes.
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You will develop a better and more adequate self-image when you begin to feel that oth...
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People are important. People cannot for long be treated like animals or machines, or as pawns to secure personal ends.
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realizing the truth about them; they are children of God, unique personalities, creative beings.
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We cannot feel anything about other people unless we “stop and think” about them.
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In your treatment of other people have regard for their feelings. We tend to feel about others in accordance with the way we treat them.
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holding a low opinion of ourselves is not a virtue, but a vice.
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Jealousy, for example, which is the scourge of many a marriage, is nearly always caused by self-doubt.
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The person with adequate self-esteem doesn’t feel hostile toward others, he isn’t out to prove anything, he can see facts more clearly, isn’t as ...
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Stop carrying around a mental picture of yourself as a defeated, worthless person. Stop dramatizing yourself as an object of pity and injustice.
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The word “esteem” literally means to appreciate the worth of. Why do men stand in awe of the stars, and the moon, the immensity of the sea, the beauty of a flower or a sunset, and at the same time downgrade themselves?
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Do not downgrade the product merely because you haven’t used it correctly.
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But the biggest secret of self-esteem is this: Begin to appreciate other people more; show respect for any human being merely because he is a child of God and therefore a “thing of value.”
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Practice treating other people as if they have some value—and surprisingly enough your own self-esteem will go up.
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Confidence is built upon an experience of success.
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success breeds success. Even a small success can be used as a stepping-stone to a greater one.
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form the habit of remembering past successes, and forgetting failures.
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We can just as easily delete negative thoughts from our minds as we can delete documents by dragging them into the trash on our computer screen.
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To engage our Success Mechanisms, repeat the commands that work and remember them. Forget the mistakes and errors. Anytime you hit the wrong button or key, retrace your steps and go back to repeating the steps that are successful.
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We destroy our self-confidence by remembering past failures and forgetting all about past successes.
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It doesn’t matter how many times you have failed in the past. What matters is the successful attempt, which should be remembered, reinforced, and dwelt upon.
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Deliberately remember and picture to yourself past successes. Everyone has succeeded sometime at something. Especially when beginning a new task, call up the feelings you experienced in some past success, however small it might have been.
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recalling brave moments is a very sound way to restore belief in yourself; that too many people are prone to let one or two failures blot out all good memories.
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practice of vividly remembering our past successes and brave moments as an invaluable aid whenever self-confidence is shaken.
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when one changed the word “success” to “happy moments,” “brave moments,” or “good times,” these same people could recall their “success experiences.”
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Just as “goals” can be seen as “projects”—“success experiences” can be called “happy moments” or something similar.
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No real success or genuine happiness is possible until a person gains some degree of self-acceptance.
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Changing your self-image does not mean changing your self, or improving your self, but changing your own mental picture, your own estimation, conception, and realization of that self.
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Self-acceptance means accepting and coming to terms with ourselves now, just as we are, with all our faults, weaknesses, shortcomings, errors, as well as our assets and strengths. Self-acceptance is easier, however, if we realize that these negatives belong to us—they are not us.
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You may have made a mistake, but this does not mean that you are a mistake. You may not be expressing yourself properly and fully, but this does not mean you yourself are no good.
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This requires admitting to ourselves—and accepting the fact—that our personality, our expressed self, or what some psychologists call our “actual self,” is always imperfect and short of the mark.
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Many people hate and reject themselves because they feel and experience perfectly natural biological desires. Others reject themselves because they do not conform to the current fashion or standard for physical proportions.
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“It is the young man of little faith who says, ‘I am nothing,’” said Edward W. Bok (who was editor of the Ladies’ Home Journal for many years). “It is the young man of true conception who says, ‘I am everything,’ and then goes to prove it. That does not spell conceit or egotism, and if people think it does, let them think so. It is enough for us to know that it means faith, trust, confidence, the human expression of the God within us. He says, ‘Do my work.’ Go and do it. No matter what it is. Do it, but do it with a zest; a keenness; a gusto that surmounts obstacles and brushes aside ...more
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Accept yourself. Be yourself. You cannot realize the potentialities and possibilities inherent in that unique and special something that is “YOU” if you keep turning your back on it, feeling ashamed of it, hating it, or refusing to recognize it.
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Misdirected aggression is an attempt to hit one target (the original goal) by lashing out at any target.
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