Kulti

by Mariana Zapata

My heart was pit-pit-patting a beat it had never known before. I was going to have a heart attack at twenty-seven. Holy crap.

This was like the best dream and the worst nightmare all wrapped into one beautiful package.

Oh. Oh. I’d been the one to say it from the very beginning: it didn’t matter what anyone else thought as long as we both knew we hadn’t done anything. I could go to my grave knowing I hadn’t done any fraternizing with my coach. Oh my God.

“My schnecke. My little snail, do you know that’s what it means? It’s a term of affection in my country. My love. My snail. I don’t want to waste more time. I have nothing to hide and neither do you.”

My heart! Oh, my heart!!

Reiner Kulti, my German, my pumpernickel, pressed his lips to mine. The same lips I’d kissed a minimum of fifty times on the posters that had once been on my wall. His mouth was warm and chaste, pressing, pecking, one, two, three, four times. He kissed one corner of my mouth, then the other. Holy mother of God, I was a sucker for those corner kisses.

Well hell. Life was about taking chances. Going for what you wanted so that you didn’t get old and have pages of regrets. Sometimes you won and sometimes you lost, as much as I hated it.

“When I met your mom, I knew exactly who she was. Everyone knew who she was. I’ve told you before, I didn’t talk to her first, she came up to me.” Dad smiled gently at the memory. “I didn’t have anything to offer her. I didn’t even finish high school and your mom was La Culebra’s daughter. It didn’t matter how many times I told her she could find someone better; she never left. If it didn’t matter to her that we would never be rich, then why should I push her away? I loved her and she loved me, and when you have love, you find a way to make things work.” He pressed the bottle to my knee again. “You can have anything you want in the world. Anything you’ve ever wanted, you’ve worked for, and I know that you know that. ‘I can and I will,’ remember?

He raised his eyebrows and nodded. “That’s your reason. What would I gain from telling you the first moment I realized you were meant to be mine? Nothing. You’re supposed to protect what you love, Sal. You taught me that. I didn’t wake up one day and know I didn’t want to live without your horrible temper. I saw so much of me in you at first, but you aren’t like me at all. You’re you, and I will go to my grave before I let anyone change any part of you. I know that without a doubt in my mind. This,” he pointed between us. “This is what matters. You are my gift, my second chance, and I will cherish you and your dream. I will protect both of you.

“I’ve been waiting, and I will keep on waiting until the time is right. You are my equal, my partner, my teammate, my best friend. I’ve done so many stupid things that you’ve made me regret—things I hope you will forgive me for and look beyond— but this, waiting a little longer for the love of my life, I can do.

I haven’t done a single thing in my life to deserve you, schnecke, but I will never give up on you, and I won’t let you give up on me.”

Someone could tell you that they loved you every day, but still lie and cheat. Or they could never say those three words, but be there for you every day and be more than you ever wanted or dreamed. He wasn’t warm or cuddly, quiet or particularly nice to others, but he was nice to me, and in my heart I knew he would stand by me every time I needed him.

“Every single thing that has ever happened in my life has led me here, Sal. Destiny is a ladder, a series of steps that takes you where you’re supposed to go. I am the man that I am, and I have done the things that I’ve done, to get me to you.”

My poor heart didn’t know it could love so much. I wasn’t going to let my fears get the best of me. I had this one life, and if I didn’t make the best of it, then what was the point? I’d been given plenty of good things to be appreciative of, and I wasn’t going to let this newest gift go to waste. I had never considered myself to be unappreciative.

“You haven’t always cared for me, and I can live with that.” “You’re a better person than I am, and I haven’t loved anything the way that I love you, schnecke. I would say we’re tied,”

“I’ve been waiting every day of my life for you. Your honesty, your loyalty,” he punctuated each of my traits with a kiss to a different part of my face that had me grinning like a freaking fool. “Your competitiveness, your fierceness, your kindness and this body… I would do anything for you. Lie, cheat and steal. There is nothing I wouldn’t do. Understand?”

“Remember that idiotic question you asked me in the car? About what would happen when you can’t play soccer any longer?”

“Nothing would happen. We would have a different adventure to go on. You are my best friend, my love, my playmate and my teammate. You’ll have a team with me wherever we are, with whatever we are playing.”

“I won’t let you give up.” I smiled at him right before pulling at his leg hair again, earning a grunt that time. “I’ve never given up on anything. I’m not about to start now.”