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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Jack Schafer
Read between
January 23 - June 25, 2017
Always remember that knowledge without action is knowledge wasted.
Friendship =Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity
People who share physical space are more likely to become attracted to one another, even when no words are exchanged.
The key to the power of proximity is that it must take place in a nonthreatening environment.
Duration has a unique quality in that the more time you spend with a person, the more influence they have over your thoughts and actions.
Dale Carnegie: “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” People like to be remembered.
The Golden Rule of Friendship—If you want people to like you, make them feel good about themselves—can
another note that Dale Carnegie emphasizes .
If you want people to like you, make them feel good about themselves. You must focus your attention on the person you are befriending.
If you make someone feel good about themselves, they will credit you with helping them attain that good feeling.
Empathic statements keep the focus of the conversation on the person you are talking with rather than on yourself.
Parroting another person’s statement can also sound patronizing and condescending. Don’t do it!
Words cannot change reality, but they can change how people perceive reality. Words create filters through which people view the world around them.
It turns out, such is not the case. When a person does someone a favor, they feel good about themselves. The Golden Rule of Friendship states that if you make a person feel good about themselves, they will like you.
When you employ the Golden Rule of Friendship, it encourages reciprocity: “If you make me happy, I want to make you happy.”
What I have discovered is when you make other people feel good about themselves (the Golden Rule of Friendship) you not only get people to like you, there’s also a collateral benefit; they want to make you feel good as well.
People who share the same perspectives, attitudes, and activities tend to develop close relationships.
Find common ground with people.
Sameness leads to the perception of greater happiness and a feeling of being understood.
Finding common ground quickly establishes rapport and a fertile environment for developing friendships.
The principle of reciprocity is triggered when people become aware that someone else likes them.
Who you associate with matters.
watch the company you keep.
If you want to be seen as successful, you need to hang out with successful people.
birds of a feather flock together
To people with high self-esteem, rejection is part of life, not a reflection on their self-worth.
An individual should not always make him or herself readily available to the person they are targeting for a longer-term relationship.
Compliments, to be effective, should be sincere and deserved.
The more you can encourage the other person to speak, the more you listen to what they say, display empathy, and respond positively when reacting to their comments, the greater the likelihood that person will feel good about themselves (Golden Rule of Friendship) and like you as a result.
Cognitive dissonance is triggered when a person holds two or more conflicting beliefs simultaneously.
This brings the Golden Rule of Friendship into play. “If you make other people feel good about themselves, they will like you.”
Just because a person is speaking to someone does not guarantee that the listener is hearing what is being said.
Make a concerted effort not to interrupt speakers when they are talking.
This is something i really need to work on because i often times talk while someone else is talking. This comes off as being rude.
“Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait to hear the answer.” Wise counsel!
Remember, individuals enjoy talking about themselves
Dale Carnegie states this fact.
When you can make a person feel good about themselves, they are going to be more favorably disposed to liking you and accepting you as a friend.
Instead of asserting your right to be right, ask people for their advice.
if you make people feel good about themselves, they will like you.
the golden rule of friendship
Good salespeople give the customers the illusion that they are in control of the car buying experience, when in fact the salespeople are directing you through a well-choreographed presentation.
Elicitation works because it is based on human needs.
based on human behavior
People have a need to be right, but people have a stronger need to correct others.
The empathic conditional keeps the focus of the conversation on the customer and introduces a set of circumstances under which the customer would purchase a product or service.
When people receive something either physically or emotionally, they feel the need to reciprocate by giving back something of equal or greater value (Law of Reciprocity).
