Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life

by Gretchen Rubin

Habits are the behaviors that I want to follow forever, without decisions, without debate, no stopping, no finish lines.

We should start the way we want to continue.

I now pay very close attention to the first few times I do anything because I know those decisions will shape my baseline habits;

Secret of Adulthood: What we assume will be temporary often becomes permanent; what we assume is permanent often proves temporary.

Gary Taubes’s book Why We Get Fat.

The biggest waste of time is to do well something that we need not do at all.

Often, it takes work to make things easier,

hidden habit.

“Plans are worthless, but planning is everything.”

“He that stumbles, and does not quite fall, gains a step.” I

People who feel less guilt and who show compassion toward themselves in the face of failure are better able to regain self-control, while

“What I do most days matters more than what I do once in a while.”

we make exceptions only for the most worthwhile indulgences.

research shows that with active distraction, urges—even strong urges—usually subside within about fifteen minutes.

studies suggest that distraction works best if it directs our minds to something absorbing and pleasant, rather than distressing or highly arousing.

To keep going, I sometimes need to allow myself to stop.

starting over is harder than continuing. I’d

If I look within the habit for the reward, I strengthen the habit.

The company’s reward for exercise is more exercise.

If I give more to myself, I can ask more from myself. Self-regard isn’t selfish.

A habit isn’t bad unless it causes some kind of problem.”

Technology is a good servant but a bad master.

wouldn’t let myself take a shower unless I’d exercised.

‘Commercial Cleaning.’ When a commercial comes on, I do a chore—wash six dishes, put a load in the dryer, dust the dining room. Once the commercials are over, I sit down again.

I decided to pair talking on the phone with standing:

identify the problem,

the connection between the habit and the value it serves.

I can use the clarity of Scheduling to guarantee that I have time and energy to devote to each activity that matters.

So, instead of saying “I’m stressed,” I press myself to identify exactly what’s bothering me.

A bright-line rule is a clearly defined rule or standard that eliminates any need for interpretation or decision making;

habits addressed an issue at the top of my list:

With children and adults alike, when people are strongly warned not to do a particular thing, they often want to do it more than ever (the lure of the forbidden); when they get milder suggestions, they react with less resistance over the long run.

The true aim is not to break bad habits, but to outgrow them.

but not keeping a good habit also has its cost. So which cost do we want to pay?