Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life

by Gretchen Rubin

Generally, I’ve observed, we seek changes that fall into the “Essential Seven.” People—including me—most want to foster the habits that will allow them to: 1. Eat and drink more healthfully (give up sugar, eat more vegetables, drink less alcohol) 2. Exercise regularly 3. Save, spend, and earn wisely (save regularly, pay down debt, donate to worthy causes, stick to a budget) 4. Rest, relax, and enjoy (stop watching TV in bed, turn off a cell phone, spend time in nature, cultivate silence, get enough sleep, spend less time in the car) 5. Accomplish more, stop procrastinating (practice an instrument, work without interruption, learn a language,

maintain a blog) 6. Simplify, clear, clean, and organize (make the bed, file regularly, put keys away in the same place, recycle) 7. Engage more deeply in relationships—with other people, with God, with the world (call friends, volunteer, have more sex, spend more time with family, attend religious services)

We do well to begin by tackling the habits that help us to: 1. sleep 2. move 3. eat and drink right 4. unclutter

Many factors contribute to whether an exercise regimen is likely to suit a particular individual. It’s important to consider: Are you a morning person or a night person (Lark or Owl)? Do you enjoy spending time outdoors, or do you prefer not to deal with weather? Are you motivated by competition? Do you enjoy exercising to strong music and a driving beat, or do you prefer a quiet background? Do you respond well to some form of external accountability (a trainer, a running group), or is internal accountability sufficient? Do you like to challenge yourself with exercise (learning a new skill, pushing yourself physically), or do you prefer familiar activities? Do you like sports and games? Is it inconvenient for you to take a shower afterward?

As I considered my own answers—Lark, both, no, quiet, internal, familiar, no, sometimes—I realized why my exercise routine works well for me. I don’t like to push myself very hard at all, or try new things, and I don’t. Each week, indoors, I take one relaxed yoga class

and make one or two trips to a cardio gym for forty undemanding minutes split between the StairMaster and the stationary bike. Once a week, I do push myself hard, in my work-to-failure strength-training session; it’s extremely cha...

While physical activity is a key aspect of the Foundation and has many emotional and physical benefits, people often assume that its most important benefit is something that, ironically, it doesn’t provide: exercise doesn’t promote weight loss. It seems to help people maintain their weight—active people are less likely to gain or regain weight than inactive people—but it’s not associated with weight loss. There are many compelling reasons to exercise, but study after study shows that weight loss isn’t one of them. The way to lose weight is to change eating habits.

There’s a paradox: because the brain needs food to manage impulses, one of the best ways to avoid impulsive overeating is to eat.

The Strategy of Scheduling, of setting a specific, regular time for an activity to recur, is one of the most familiar and powerful strategies of habit formation—and it’s one of my favorites. Scheduling makes us far more likely to convert an activity into a habit (well, except for Rebels), so for that reason, I schedule even some slightly ridiculous habits, such as “Kiss Jamie every morning and every night.”

One of my most helpful Secrets of Adulthood is “What I do every day matters more than what I do once in a while.” Perhaps surprisingly, I’ve found that it’s actually easier to do something every day than some days.

One flashy kind of commitment device is the “nuclear option.” A friend who enjoys experimenting with strategies of personal productivity used this approach to quit drinking for sixty days. He gave his assistant a stamped, addressed envelope with a check he’d written to an “anti-charity,” an organization whose policies he passionately opposes, with the instruction to mail the check if he had a drink before the time was up. “Did it work?” I asked. “Absolutely. I’d raised the stakes, plus I’d tied drinking to my core values. There’s no way I’d send a check to that hateful group. It worked so well,” he added, “that my mother did it too. If she had a drink before her time was up, she had to give money to her grandsons to buy video games. She considers that a terrible waste of money.” “Did she stick to it?” “Yes, and it was funny to hear my nephews beg her, ‘Come on, Grandma! Have a glass of wine. You deserve it!’ ”

Something that can be done at any time often happens at no time, and waiting vaguely for the right time to start again is very risky.

Why We Get Fat and Good Calories, Bad Calories,

People who

feel less

guilt and who show compassion toward themselves in the face of failure are better able to regain self-control, while people who feel deeply guil...

The reward for a good habit is the habit itself.

People who use language that emphasizes that they’re acting by their own choice and exercising control (“I don’t,” “I choose to,” “I’m going to,” or “I don’t want to”) stick to their habits better than people who use language that undermines their self-efficacy (“I can’t,” “I’m not allowed to,” or “I’m supposed to”). There’s a real difference between “I don’t” and “I can’t.”

5. Obesity is a disorder of excess fat accumulation, not overeating, and not sedentary behavior.

7. Fattening and obesity are caused by an imbalance—a disequilibrium—in the hormonal regulation of adipose tissue and fat metabolism. Fat synthesis and storage exceed the mobilization of fat from the adipose tissue

and its subsequent oxidation. We become leaner when the hormonal regulation of the fat tissue reverses this balance.

Insulin is the primary regulator of fat storage. When insulin levels are elevated—either chronically or after a meal—we accumulate fat in our fat tissue. When insulin levels fall, we release fat from our fat tissue and use it for fuel. 9. By stimulating insulin secretion, carbohydrates make us fat and ult...