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sources of intrinsic motivation: Challenge: we find personal meaning in pursuing a goal that’s difficult but not impossible. Curiosity: we’re intrigued and find pleasure in learning more. Control: we like the feeling of mastery.
Fantasy: we play a game; we use our imagination to make an activity more stimulating. Cooperation: we enjoy the satisfaction of working with others. Competition: we feel gratified when we can compare ourselves favorably to others. Recognition: we’re pleased when others recognize our accomplishments and contributions.
With my own habits, I’ve decided not to decide. I do an action without debate, without evaluation, and without reward.
The third danger posed by rewards? This one took me much longer to recognize: the risk of the “finish line.”
A finish line marks a stopping point. Once we stop, we must start over, and starting over is harder than continuing.
A finish line divides behavior that we want to follow indefinitely—to run, to write, to practice—into “start” and “stop,” and all too often, the “stop” turns out to be permanent.
some people are serial goal setters, rather than habit formers.
By finding my reward within the habit itself, with a reward that takes me deeper into the habit.
The reward for a good habit is the habit itself.
adding one coin to the growing heap is very satisfying.
Continuous progress is the opposite of a finish line.
One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats.
Unlike a reward, which must be earned or justified, a “treat” is a small pleasure or indulgence that we give to ourselves just because we want it.
Secret of Adulthood: If I give more to myself, I can ask more from myself. Self-regard isn’t selfish.
Screens of all kinds tend to drain energy, if used too long; they consume time that could be spent in other activities; they make it easy to stay up too late; they make it easy to eat mindlessly.
“What change would add more happiness to my life?”
“For me, the most important characteristic of a Rebel is the freedom to be authentic to the person I am at this moment. My desires and needs shift, and I want the autonomy to pursue that.
I can’t make people change, but when I change, others may change; and when others change, I may change.
It’s a data point of one—but for me that’s a very persuasive data point.
Keeping a good habit costs us: it may cost time, energy, and money, and it may mean forgoing pleasures and opportunities—but not keeping a good habit also has its cost.
