The Kill Clause

by Lisa Unger

The garage door opens at my approach, and I pull inside, let it close behind me. I wait a few seconds before I kill the engine. I always toy with it. Just sitting there with the engine running and the door closed until—nothing. They say that it’s a peaceful way to go, just like falling into a 11blissful sleep. My shrink calls this suicidal ideation, and it concerns her that it’s something I think about quite often—how, when, if. “Doesn’t everyone think about it?” I asked. I mean—we’re all going to die, right? It’s just a matter of time. So why not bow out on your own terms? “Of course people think about it. But it seems to me more like you’re strategizing, considering options. Most people cling to the time they have on this planet. That’s the norm.”

“I’m not depressed,” I assured her. “Let’s just call it death curious

“Everything dies.” 58 “But not everything kills.”