The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

by Gary Chapman

Before marriage, we are carried along by the force of the in-love obsession. After marriage, we revert to being the people we were before we “fell in love.”

Love is a choice and cannot be coerced.

Once they decided to make requests of each other rather than demands, their marriage began to turn around.

My spouse’s criticisms about my behavior provide me with the clearest clue to her primary love language.

If your spouse’s love language is acts of service, then “actions speak louder than words.”

LOVE LANGUAGE #5 Physical Touch

THE POWER OF TOUCH

Physical touch can make or break a relationship.

When family or friends are visiting, touch your spouse in their presence. A hug, running your hand along his or her arm, putting your arm around him as you stand talking, or simply placing your hand on her shoulder can earn double emotional points. It says, “Even with all these people in our house, I still see you.”

I have suggested three ways to discover your own primary love language:

1. What does your spouse do or fail to do that hurts you most deeply? The opposite of what hurts you most is probably your love language.

2. What have you most often requested of your spouse? The thing you have most often requested is likely the thing tha...

3. In what way do you regularly express love to your spouse? Your method of expressing love may be an indication that th...

let me suggest that you spend some time writing down what you think is your primary love language. Then list the other four in order of importance. Also write down what you think is the primary love language of your spouse. You may also list the other four in order of importance if you wish. Sit down with your spouse and discuss what you guessed to be his/her primary love language. Then tell each other what you consider to be your own primary love language.

So how do we respond when our spouse seeks to manipulate us? How about saying: “I love you too much to be manipulated. If you would like to say that in the form of a request, I will consider it.”