My Protector (Bewitched and Bewildered, #2)

by Alanea Alder

"Leave him alone, Aiden, he is Coffee God," Meryn warned.

"Ha-ha. Very funny, Aiden. Be nice or I'll figure out a way to put Meryn on a caffeine IV drip." "Gods no! Adam, that's not even funny!" Elizabeth smiled. "That actually sounds good right about now."

"What is Meryn like?" Gavriel shook his head. "Meryn cannot be described, only experienced." "Now I'm really curious." "She's one of kind," Aiden said proudly. "She sure is. I cannot wait for the two of you to meet," Gavriel said. Aiden laughed. Elizabeth smiled, but felt a sense of foreboding; she couldn't be that bad. Could she?

"Meryn, this is my mate, Elizabeth Monroe. Elizabeth, this is Meryn, Aiden's mate." "Is she the unbalanced one?" a voice asked.

"I'm a lepus curpaeums." Meryn nodded. "So you're a bunny." "I'm a lepus curpaeums..." "A bunny. That's cool." Meryn turned back to her laptop.

Feeling as if she had stepped into an episode of the Twilight Zone, Elizabeth nibbled on a cookie. What had she gotten herself into now?

"Thousands of people," Colton whispered. "Just like Meryn?" Keelan asked. Elizabeth looked around. The men had that deer in the headlights looks. "Maybe not just like her." "Thank goodness. One Meryn in the world is enough," Colton teased, looking relieved. "It's because I'm a 'Limited Edition'. Y'all should be grateful for even knowing me," Meryn huffed. "We are, my love. We are." Aiden scowled at his men over Meryn's head.

"I want to stay with you, only..." she hesitated. "Only what, my mate? Anything you ask for, will be yours," Gavriel assured her. "Don't expect too much," she blurted out blushing. He gathered her in his arms and held her close. "Just being here is more than I deserve. There is no way you would fail to meet my expectations, they have been shattered in the face of the beautiful reality that is you." And there goes my heart, where did it go? Oh yes, in his pocket to carry around for all time.

"What you must have seen and done," she said in wonder. "Did you get to see Elvis?" she asked suddenly. His mouth dropped. "I watched entire empires emerge and fall. Gods rule and disappear. The undocumented miracles of magic and science, kings, queens, wars, and you ask about Elvis?" he asked incredulously.

"Now you know how I feel. It's not right that another male can make our mates sound like that," he grumbled. "Ryuu is Coffee God. Ryuu can do whatever the fuck he wants." Meryn's gravelly, irritated voice sounded different from the more upbeat personality she had met the day before. "All hail Coffee God." Keelan and Colton bowed down in their seats reverently to Ryuu who shook his head at their antics.

Meryn smiled at her. "I think I'll like having a sister. Am I related to that Magnus guy now?" Elizabeth caught Meryn's wink and rolled with it. "Absolutely. I'll call him later to let him know." "Hey! She is not related to the Rioux, she is a McKenzie!" Aiden growled. "Technically, I'm an Evans. We're not married, just living in sin," Meryn corrected him. Elizabeth turned her head before she laughed out loud and ruined everything. Aiden looked like his head was about to explode. "You are too a McKenzie! We're mated!" Aiden boomed. Meryn held up her empty left hand. "This says I am single. I'm only mated to you in Lycaonia and that is tee tiny compared to the whole freaking world. Even my driver's license says Evans," she countered.

"Oh fuck me! I forgot about the damn sewing circle meeting. Abort! Abort!" Meryn cried from the backseat. "Too late, we've been spotted," Elizabeth pointed to a woman waving at them enthusiastically in front of the house. "Damn, that's Horseface. There's no turning back now," Meryn groaned.

"Actually, it's lepus curpaeums," Meryn corrected. The woman smiled at Meryn patronizingly. "That's just another way to say bunny, dear, why get so wrapped up in the technicalities? Of course, as a human, you wouldn't understand." Meryn blinked and then smiled. "So, if it's okay to call Elizabeth a bunny, then could I call you a bitch?" Meryn asked sweetly. Adelaide started choking on her tea. Elizabeth turned to the flustered woman to divert her attention away from Meryn.

"I've never met anyone like her in all my days. She isn't motivated by greed or power. She doesn't judge people by their race or position. She's very special." He turned his heavy gaze to Elizabeth. "You mean she's motivated by coffee and nerd gear and judges people solely on whether they're an asshole or not?" Elizabeth grinned. "Exactly." A smile tugged at his mouth. "She's so young. I don't think she'll be ready for whatever is coming." "That is why she has us."

Elizabeth turned to Ryuu as if to say, 'see what I mean'?" Ryuu stepped forward. "Meryn, listen carefully. Elizabeth is not only your new sister; she will also be your Yoda. She will teach you and guide you in the ways of using the force, so that you will master paranormal politics. Learn well, young padawan." He clapped a hand on Meryn's shoulder. When Meryn turned to her, there was reverence in her eyes. "I will try hard, Master Yoda."

"Wait. Am I in a book? Like right now?" Meryn looked around a bit wild-eyed. Adelaide nodded. "As Aiden's mate, your accomplishments will also be recorded." Meryn paled. "That also means my fuck ups will be in there, too. I don't want to be known for my fuck ups!" she said sounding panicked. Elizabeth dropped a cookie on Meryn's plate. "That's why I'm here, Meryn. I am your Yoda. I will teach you to avoid public gaffes so that only good things will be recorded about you."

"Hey Aiden..." Meryn called out. Aiden turned, a frown on his face. "Meryn, what did I just tell you about interrupting our training? These drills could save your life one day," Aiden practically shouted. "But I..." "No. Go back into the house. I'll come to you when we're done." Aiden deliberately turned his back, dismissing her. "Aiden..." Aiden ignored her. "Aiden, please." Aiden stared down at his clipboard steadily ignoring his mate. Nostrils flaring, Meryn turned to her. "Wait here." Oh dear. Meryn marched back into the house with a determined look on her face. A few seconds later Meryn walked through the front door and down the porch steps around to the back. A minute later, when she pulled up in a large black Camaro, she had everyone's attention except Aiden's. Elizabeth watched as Colton jogged up to Aiden. He watched Meryn, his eyes growing wide. Meryn pulled a gas canister from the trunk and started to douse the car. Elizabeth watched, smiling. Her eyes met Gavriel's. She raised an eyebrow and nodded to where Meryn was gleefully saturating the car. He shrugged. She noticed not one warrior breathed a word to their commander. Aiden turned to Colton. "Colton, did you spill gasoline in the armory? That could be a potential disaster waiting to happen," he admonished. Colton shook his head. "No. But Aiden, Meryn..." "I told her I'd speak to her later." "But Aiden..." Colton gulped. "Later," Aiden said in a curt tone. Meryn threw the gas canister into the car and pulled...

Colton's voice rang out. "Let's make s'mores! Ow!" His head jerked forward from Sascha cuffing him. Elizabeth laughed at the men's antics.

"Okay son, what's yer question?" "What do you buy a woman to get back on her good side when you've made her really, really angry? Cake? Fudge?" The wrinkles on the old man's face scrunched together as he frowned. "How angry did you make her boy?" "She set my car on fire." The old man blinked and then began to laugh. He laughed so hard that he began to hack and wheeze.

"Sneaky vampire," she muttered, heading for the foyer. "Of course, and I am sneakier than most," he admitted. "Hurry with the food." "As you wish." Elizabeth turned to stare at him. Did he just quote Princess Bride? Gavriel looked at her, an innocent expression on his face. "What?" She couldn't determine if he was joking or not. "Damn vampire." His chuckle followed her into the foyer.

"Gavriel, Beth isn't klutzy; she literally has the worst luck I have ever seen. She'll walk into the armory and for some unknown reason a stack of crates holding grenades, that haven't moved in years will suddenly come tumbling down. In the process, several pins will dislodge and she'll be trapped under the fallen boxes." Broderick paused. "I don't suppose you watch human movies?" "Meryn has been having us watch them more so we can understand her." "Have you ever seen Final Destination?" he asked. "Oh fuck," Gavriel whispered. "Yes, that about sums it up." Broderick sounded defeated. "Do they make bubble wrap body suits with tracking devices?" Gavriel joked. "We could start on a prototype," Caspian offered immediately.

"Do you always drink from a glass?" she finally exploded. Gavriel shook his head. "Over my lifetime, I have fed in nearly every way imaginable. Drinking from a glass is tame in comparison." Meryn started to grin. "Would you drink from a man?" Gavriel nodded. "Would you drink in a van?" she asked her eyes dancing. "I don't see why not," he replied. Elizabeth stared at Meryn as she continued. "Would you drink from an actor?" Again, Gavriel nodded. Laughing, Elizabeth shook her head at Meryn. "Would you drink on a tractor?" Meryn could barely get the words out she was laughing so hard. Gavriel frowned. "Maybe from a farmer if the need were dire." Her mate's serious answers to Meryn's macabre Dr. Seuss questioning made the scene all the more hilarious. "Don't, please, Meryn." Elizabeth gasped.

Aiden shook his head. "No Meryn, it wouldn't taste the same for you. You've licked a cut finger before right?" he asked. She nodded. "To us blood simply tastes like meat or hamburger, it's nowhere near as enticing as it is for a vampire," he explained. She blinked at him. "Wait. Your blood tastes like hamburgers? How is that fair? When I lick a cut on my finger, all I taste is copper." She frowned down at her finger. Aiden looked around the table. "Blood tastes like hamburgers to you guys, right?" he asked. Elizabeth nodded as did Colton. Keelan and Darian shook their heads. "To me, blood tastes like earth." Darian was now frowning at his own finger. "It tastes like ozone to me, the way ozone smells anyway," Keelan contributed. Elizabeth glanced around the table. Now all the men except Gavriel were staring at their fingers. "How did we not know that? I always assumed it tasted the same for everyone," she asked.

Elizabeth turned to her mate. "Do we seem dull and staid in comparison?" Gavriel shook his head. "I think it is more that Meryn lives in and rules her own world."

"Is there a human handbook? Ever since Meryn has moved in, I'm discovering that I don't know as much as I thought I did about their daily lives. It's humbling," Darian complained. "We don't need a handbook. We have Bart. He's the older gentleman we met at the grocery store the last time we went. He is a great source of knowledge." Aiden said.

"Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?" Meryn quipped and brought the sword down making what Elizabeth guessed by the quote, were lightsaber noises. Aiden looked heavenward. "I still don't understand you!" Meryn swung the sword around in a mock battle against her invisible opponent. The other men cheered her on. Elizabeth took pity on Aiden. She kissed Gavriel on the cheek. "Be careful." He nodded. She stepped up to the training area. "Much to learn you still have, my old padawan." Meryn froze mid-swing. "I guess you're right." She handed the sword off to Colton. "Try not to kill any of our warriors," she teased. Colton groaned. Meryn jogged over to her. "Let's go in! I'm freezing my balls off!" Behind her the men erupted in chuckles. Aiden looked over at the grinning fools. "Ten laps starting now!" he barked. The men jumped to and began jogging.

"I'll put it on the To-Do list. I'm really liking this book though. There's some very interesting stuff in here," she said with an evil grin. "Gods help us," Elizabeth muttered. "Mu-wa-ha-ha." Meryn wagged her eyebrows. "You goof! Scan those pictures and I'll create the database files."

"I wonder if she'll get morning sickness, more food for us." Colton gloated and stood, rubbing his hands together. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "You boys do realize that now that's she's pregnant she can't have any caffeine, right?" All sound ceased. The men froze looking at each other as their terror mounted. "We won't survive," Keelan whispered. Darian stepped forward, swallowing repeatedly. "When you say no caffeine, does that mean chocolate, too?" Elizabeth nodded. She was shocked when Keelan whimpered. "We're done for the day. I'm going to my room until dinner," Darian said, a blank look on his face. "Good idea," Colton agreed and started walking toward his suite. "Maybe an invisibility spell," Keelan muttered to himself as he turned in the opposite direction to his suite. "You, my love, are a very evil woman," Gavriel said steering her to their room.

Elizabeth turned to the squire "Ryuu, you might want to go take her a small cup of something. If she thinks she can stay in bed until she wakes up, she's wrong. She'll just go back to sleep and get overtired, which will make her even more evil. Trust me, I know." Ryuu nodded and picked up the small mug he had placed at Meryn's seat. "I'll be back." "Lord and Lady, please protect and guide this brave warrior as he faces certain death," Keelan murmured as he began the prayer for the Brave Warrior. Colton snorted and kept eating. Aiden nodded. "Go with the Gods' blessings." Ryuu rolled his eyes and left the room.

"Can I be just like you when I grow up?" Noah whispered. Meryn jumped up and down throwing her tiny fists in the air. "Whoo hoo! Meryn two. Douchebag zero." "Meryn, you shouldn't call Elder Evreux a douchebag in front of our new trainees," Aiden admonished even as his lips were trying not to smile. "Do not mind us, sir." Lennox and the other trainees gave Meryn a thumbs up sign. "You little minx. How on earth did you find out that Elder Evreux has to be the biggest germaphobe this side of the Mississippi?" Elizabeth pulled the smaller woman in for a hug. Meryn looked at her and winked impishly. "I have learned well, Master Yoda," and then held up her phone. Elizabeth's mouth dropped. "Of course! The history books! You little genius!" She laughed and danced around the foyer with her. Meryn stopped dancing and turned to Aiden. "And he can't say I wasn't nice. He left all on his own so he can't complain. I am learning about politics."

"I have minions," Meryn whispered in awe. "Gods above save us," Elizabeth muttered. "Ryuu!" Meryn yelled. He appeared in the doorway almost immediately. "Yes, denka?" "I'm calling dibs on one of the guest suites downstairs for my minions; can you make sure the meatheads know?" She started rubbing her hands together. He bowed and walked out toward the front door.

"Welcome aboard and good luck." He walked out yelling to Colton to move Lennox to another room. "Just like that?" Noah whispered. "I told you buddy. I had a good feeling about this, like we were supposed to be here." Jaxon punched his friend lightly in the shoulder. Elizabeth felt a sliver of ice slide down her spine at his words. She looked over at Ryuu and saw that he too had felt something. Jaxon was more right than he knew; they were meant to be here. "Meryn..." Elizabeth started. Meryn waved a hand at her. "Shush for a second, my brain is working. I think I have designed a new program; each unit in the future will get a sixth man. He'll be the unit's eyes and ears, their communication link and relay." Meryn tapped away furiously. "So mote it be," Ryuu whispered from the other side of the room.

Gavriel shook his head and turned to Elizabeth. "Try not to take over the world while we poor grunts are training." She flipped her hair off her shoulder. "We make no promises."

"I don't know what in the hell is going on anymore. But since Aiden is in my office, looks like we'll have to go to the media room. I wanted to get measurements anyway to see how many feet of cable we'll need to set up servers. Come on, Hulk on Wheels!" Meryn plopped down on Jaxon's lap to his astonishment. "Mush!" She pointed to the media room. Elizabeth looked to the ceiling. "Meryn! Do not treat your minion like a sled dog!" She stopped abruptly. Had that just come out of her mouth?

Elizabeth couldn't believe the way her life had made a drastic turn. Don't treat your minion like a sled dog? Standing alone in the foyer, she began to laugh. How had she survived up until now without these crazy people in her life?

"How long would it take your crew to build an addition to the Alpha estate? Big enough for five trainees?" Gavriel stared at the foreman whose jaw dropped. Ryuu began to chuckle and walked away, tying his apron back on. "Sir? Are you serious?" the foreman asked. "Deadly." Gavriel responded. "That kind of project takes time, materials, man hours..." Jensen thought about it. He looked at Gavriel. "How urgent is the request?" "If we do not move one of the trainees out of here by the end of the week, I may lose my immortal soul for murdering the little shit in his sleep," Gavriel snarled. "So kinda urgent then. Okay, let me call in some favors. I'm not going to lie, sir, this might get pricey." Jensen flushed a bit. "Do whatever you have to. Call whomever you have to. The sooner you get it built, the larger the bonus," Gavriel offered.

"Have fun. Don't kill any of your trainees at work today, honey," she said and stopped. She had done it again! She had said something outlandish, but in this insane house, it made perfect sense. Gavriel sniffed dramatically. "I make no promises," he said, turning her words against her, and then left. Don't kill any of your trainees at work today? And she'd meant it? Maybe she deserved more than a new closet out of this mating.

Aiden frowned at everyone. Colton began to laugh. Aiden flipped him off, and Colton wheezed harder. "You went against an army of ferals and didn't get a scratch on you. You come home and piss off the women and they almost take you out!" Colton had to put a steadying hand on Sascha's shoulder. The Gamma Unit leader was laughing so hard he had to lean against Colton to stay upright. The pair of them howled and slapped their legs. It wasn't long before all the men were laughing, expelling a lot of built up stress and tension.

"Let me get this straight, the Dark Prince from vampire legend saved my great-great-great grandfather's life, named my great-great grandfather and promised to look after his descendants? Come on! It's not like there's a five thousand year old vampire sulking around helping to defend this family." Aiden protested then stopped as all blood drained from his face. He turned to look at Gavriel. Gavriel smiled and wiggled his fingers at him. Aiden collapsed into the dining room chair next to his father.