The King's Men (All for the Game, #3)

by Nora Sakavic

When the Foxes filed off the court, Renee headed for Riko. She wasn't the sort to pick a fight, so Neil stopped to stare after her. Riko didn't take the hand Renee offered, but Jean did. The handshake lasted a little too long, but Neil didn't know which one of them was slower to let go. Neil thought of Jean's odd reaction to Renee at the fall banquet, the lingering look and the uncomfortable introduction.

Huh, interesting

"Look, I'm going to be honest," Neil said. "I know Riko's good. Everyone does. His uncle's name has gotten him pretty far in life and the Ravens have an impressive record. But Riko as a person is hard to respect. Up until December, I figured he was an egocentric maniac who was so desperate for his own glory he refused to see the potential in anyone else. He, of course, assumed I was a know-nothing from nowhere with no right to have an opinion.

Your're crazy, keep going pls

Besides, I could barely tolerate them for two weeks. I can't imagine playing with them for four years. They're horrible human beings.

Respect Jean bro

"When we tried to sign Andrew to the Ravens, he said the same thing. He said I didn't interest him because I made a career of coming second. I don't want this, but I'm not like you." The look Kevin shot Neil was frustrated, but the anger in it was more self-directed than anything. "I have always been Riko's. I know more than anyone what happens when you defy a Moriyama." "You know," Neil agreed. "But they already took everything away from you. What else do you have to lose?"

That was so fucking important my god

"Tell me you're not that stupid," Neil said. "This isn't your room," Aaron said. "Get out." "What did he promise you?" Neil demanded, ignoring that. "He didn't say he'd keep you safe. If he had he wouldn't have let Kevin stay last year. So who did he promise to protect you from?" He gave Aaron a minute to cooperate before guessing. "He moved back in the house and found out your mother was beating you. He said if you couldn't defend yourself against a woman he'd have to. Didn't he? All you had to do in exchange was stick with him until graduation." "It doesn't matter." "Obviously it does," Neil snapped. Aaron scowled but gave up denying it. "You've always known why he killed your mother. Why did you make me spell it out for you?" "No," Aaron argued immediately. "That had nothing to do with me. He made that promise his second night home with us, but he waited five months to kill Mom. You didn't see the bruises she left on him when she thought he was me that night." "Andrew didn't care that she hurt him. He cared that she hurt you. It only took him that long because accidents take time to plan." "You don't know that." "I do. So would you if you'd paid attention to how he treated you in Columbia," Neil said. "You knew before I did why he turned on Allison today. The only one who can stop this is you. Figure out what you have to do—what you have to forgive—to make him let you go."

"I should have said something sooner. I just didn't—" Neil gestured, helpless and lost and awful. "I don't know how to talk to people about the important things." "We noticed." Allison shrugged like it was no big deal when they both knew it was. "You're a real piece of work. One of these days you're going to tell me why."

I wonder how she'll react if she learns the truth

"Katelyn's refusing to see me or talk to me until Andrew and I get counseling." Nicky's jaw dropped, but he sounded more admiring than anything. "Damn, Neil." Aaron shot him a livid look. "Don't you dare take his side." "Why not?" Nicky asked. "It's not like you've ever let me take yours."

Nicky, ur the only one nobody likes that's crazy

"He asked you to protect them?" Renee nodded. "Kevin told Andrew the truth about the Moriyamas first. Andrew knew letting Kevin stay could mean serious consequences for the rest of us. He was willing to protect his own against the backlash, but he didn't care enough to fight for the rest of us. He gave them to me instead." She tipped her head to indicate her sleeping friends and held a glass up for inspection. "One of the first things I asked him last June was who was keeping you. He said he'd know after a night out in Columbia."

Well now I understand the promise

"Speaking of timing, how's your mental clock doing? Does having a set schedule again help any?" "Not as much as having them all here does," Neil said. "I'm not alone enough to get lost." "Good,"

Good dad

"Neil Josten" was supposed to turn twenty on March 31st. Today Nathaniel Wesninski turned nineteen years old.

"It's ruined," Neil said, voice ragged with an awful rage. "It's all ruined." Wymack burst into the room with Nicky on his heels. The sight of so much blood stopped him short for a moment before he strode for Neil. "Is that yours?" "Coach, my gear," Neil said. "It's—"

Oh man

He hurried to the bathroom to soak it in the sink but jerked to a stop as he was turning back to them. His startled voice echoed off the bathroom walls. "What the hell?" Neil knew better than to look, but he went anyway. Wymack and Andrew were right behind him. Neil followed Matt's gaze to the far wall and felt his stomach bottom out. Written in blood across the tile was a bold message: "Happy 19th Birthday, Jr.".

"You're joking," Matt said, coming up behind Andrew and looking between the strikers. "You're really going to ignore the fact that this," he stabbed a finger in the direction of Neil's locker, "just happened? Neil, you look like a Carrie stunt double. You don't even want to get security up here while the scene's still fresh?"

LMAO A CARRIE STUNT DOUBLE

The soft buzz of his phone distracted him, and Neil tugged it out of his pocket. There was a new message in his inbox. He didn't recognize the number or the area code. He understood the message even less: "49". Neil gave it a minute, but nothing else was forthcoming. He deleted the text and put his phone away.

Shit is going down

"By the way, I'm making you vice-captain next year." Neil's heart lodged in his throat. He twisted to stare at Wymack, but it took two tries to find his voice. "You're what?" "Dan's got to leave eventually," Wymack said. "She needs a replacement." "Not me," Neil protested. "You should be asking Matt or Kevin." "Talented players with more experience," Wymack allowed, "but they don't have what this team needs. Do you know why I made Dan captain?" Wymack glanced up at Neil and waited for Neil to shake his head. "I knew the moment I saw her she could lead this team. It didn't matter what her teammates thought of her; it didn't matter what the press thought of her. She refused to be a failure so she refused to give up on this team. That's what I needed to get the Foxes off the ground. "You're the only one here who can succeed her," Wymack said. "Didn't you notice? They're uniting around and behind you. That's something special. You're something special." "You don't even who know I am." "The hell I don't," Wymack said. "You're Neil Josten, nineteen year-old recruit from Millport, Arizona. Born March 31st, five-foot-three, right-handed, stick size three. Starting striker for my Foxes and most improved freshman striker in NCAA Class I Exy. "No," Wymack said, getting louder when Neil started to interrupt. "Look me in the eye and tell me if you think I care who you used to be. Hm?" Wymack stabbed a finger up at his face, then jabbed it into the table. "I care about who you are right...

Well, I really hope he will become vice captain now

Andrew sat beside him and held something up. Neil looked, but it took a minute before he understood what Andrew was offering him. The dealership had given him two keys for his new ride, and Andrew was giving the second one to Neil. When Neil took too long to take it from him, Andrew dropped it on the concrete between them. "A man can only have so many issues," Andrew said. "It is just a key." "You're a foster child. You know it isn't,"

He'd toyed with Andrew's house key so many times he knew every dip and ridge by heart. "It's always been 'lie' and 'hide' and 'disappear'. I've never belonged anywhere or had the right to call anything my own. But Coach gave me keys to the court, and you told me to stay. You gave me a key and called it home."

"You are a Fox. You are always going to be nothing." Andrew stubbed his cigarette out. "I hate you." "Nine percent of the time you don't." "Nine percent of the time I don't want to kill you. I always hate you." "Every time you say that I believe you a little less." "No one asked you." With that, Andrew caught Neil's face in his hands and leaned in.

Nicky's drugged assault aside, Neil hadn't kissed anyone in four years. The last girl was a scrawny French-Canadian who'd held him with just her fingertips and kissed like she was afraid of smudging her tacky-bright lipstick. Neil couldn't remember her name or face anymore. He remembered only how unsatisfying the illicit encounter had been and how furious his mother was when she found them. That awkward peck wasn't worth the punishment that had followed.

Hum. Please develop so I can know how much I hate her

Andrew kissed him like this was a fight with their lives on the line, like his world stopped and started with Neil's mouth. Neil's heart stuttered to a stop at the first hard press of lips against his and he reached up without thinking. His hand made it as far as Andrew's jaw before he remembered Andrew didn't like to be touched. Neil caught hold of Andrew's coat sleeve instead and knotted his fingers in the heavy wool.

He still remembers his aversion to touch T-T

"Why not?" "Because you're too stupid to tell me no," Andrew said. "And you don't want me to tell you yes?" "This isn't yes. This is a nervous breakdown. I know the difference even if you don't." Andrew dug his thumb into his lower lip like he could erase the weight of Neil's mouth and fixed his stare on the horizon. "I won't be like them. I won't let you let me be." Neil opened his mouth, closed it, and tried again. "The next time one of them says you're soulless I might have to fight them." "Ninety-two percent," Andrew said, "going on ninety-three."

This is...weirdly touching

Neil gave up fantasizing shortly after his mother beat his interest in intimacy out of him. He still had needs, but he dealt with them with no more attention than he might afford hunger or thirst.

I HATE THIS BITCH

Befriending the Foxes was inadvisable but inevitable. Kissing one of them was unthinkable and went against everything he knew. Neil hadn't meant to toe that line or invite Andrew across it. Chances were he wouldn't have to worry about it, considering Andrew's rather vocal dislike of him and his serious boundary issues. Andrew wasn't like Nicky, who would wheedle and argue and protest if Neil said it was a bad idea. If Neil turned him down flat Andrew would never ask why or bring it up again. It'd be like nothing ever happened, and Neil could live out the last few months of his life in peace. But was this peace or cowardice, and was this survival or avoidance? Neil could tell himself all day long what the smart thing to do was, but if he really cared that much about what was smart he wouldn't have come here in the first place. He would have left when he found out the Moriyamas were criminals or when Riko called him by his real name or when Riko dared him to trade his safety for Andrew's. Neil had been doing one stupid thing after another all year long and this had turned into the best year of his life.

The new message in his inbox was from an unfamiliar number, and all it said was "48".

I'M FREAKING OUT

He might have forgotten about the text that woke him up if he didn't get a "47" message from a new number the following evening. Neil looked down at his phone in consternation as he realized someone was sending him a countdown.

I am so scared I'm not even kidding.

For a moment he thought he'd get to Neil Josten's birthday, but he landed on Friday, March 9th. It was an odd day to end on. It was the last day before Palmetto State University's spring break. There was a game that night, but it wasn't one of championships' two death matches.

Neil tried stuffing Exy into every scrap of free time he had. He brought SUA tactics and line-ups to class with him to hide under his textbooks, and he met Kevin at the dining hall for lunch to argue plays. Despite the active effort he made to focus on Friday's game, his thoughts kept derailing without warning. Whenever Andrew crossed the room, Neil's gaze followed. Every time Neil took his keys out of his pocket and saw the newest addition to his set he remembered Andrew's kiss. He looked at Matt and Nicky to see if he saw them any differently, but nothing had changed.

Confused demiromantic vibe

"It better not be," was Kevin's first response, and then, "Riko still believes he can win his father's attention with his fame. If the lord does not recover, Riko will take his anger and grief out on everyone around him." Neil considered that, then said, "Good thing you're not there anymore." "Jean still is,"

Yes. Don't forget my boy

The Foxes won by a comfortable margin, took their time washing off afterward, and were back on the bus by eleven. Neil found a message waiting for him when he turned his phone back on: "42". He typed out a "Go away" but deleted it immediately.

Someone save me

"Question," Neil said, but it took him a few moments to figure out the right words. "When you said you don't like being touched, is it because you don't like it at all or because you don't trust anyone else enough to let them touch you?" Andrew glanced at him. "It doesn't matter." "If it didn't, I wouldn't ask," Neil said. "It doesn't matter to a man who doesn't swing," Andrew clarified. Neil shrugged. "I don't because I've never been allowed to. The only thing I could think about growing up was surviving." Maybe that was why this was in that gray area of what was acceptable. It didn't matter that Andrew was a would-be sociopath or a man; the idea of Andrew was so intertwined with the idea of Neil's safety that this too was a means of self-preservation. "Letting someone in meant trusting them to not stab me in the back when terrible people came looking for me. I was too afraid to risk it, so it was easier to be alone and not think about it. But I trust you." "You shouldn't." "Says the man who stopped." Neil gave Andrew a few moments to respond before saying, "I don't understand it, and I don't know what I'm doing, but I don't want to ignore it just because it's new. So are you completely off-limits or are there any safe zones?" "What are you hoping for, coordinates?" "I'm hoping to know where the lines are before I cross them," Neil said, "but I'm open to drawing a map on you if you want to loan me a marker. That's not a bad idea." "Everything about you is a bad idea,"

See, this book fucked me up bc I find this so cute

For a second Neil thought Andrew would push him away and be done with this. Andrew did push, but he followed Neil down. The short carpet was rough against Neil's knuckles where Andrew pinned his hand over his head. Neil couldn't complain when Andrew was an unyielding weight on top of him. He started to reach for Andrew again but stopped himself halfway there. Andrew snagged that hand too and held it down out of the way.

Ig his injuries healed at some point

Neil finally understood why his mother thought this was so dangerous. This was distraction and indiscretion, avoidance and denial. It was letting his guard down, letting someone in, and taking comfort in something he shouldn't have and couldn't keep. Right now, Neil needed it too much to care.

Neil had survived more than a few hectic weeks growing up, but the week leading up to the Foxes' first death match was almost enough to rattle even him.

Is this when the texting stops?

When the Foxes hit the court February 9th,

1 month till the texting stops

"You sound like a wind-up doll with only one topic," Andrew said. "I have nothing to say to you." "If I talk about something else, will you talk to me?" Andrew quirked a brow at him. "Can you talk about something else?"

True

Neil was annoyed enough to answer tonight's "28" in his inbox with an "Enough". No one responded.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH

"Yes or no?" Andrew asked. "Yes,"

"Just here." "Okay," Neil said, and dug his fingers into Andrew's hair as soon as Andrew's grip went slack. It wasn't much but it was a desperate relief having something to hold onto.

The respect oh boudaries, I might cry

"Go," Andrew said. "Where?" Neil asked. "Anywhere I can't see you," Andrew said. Neil wouldn't live long enough to understand all the broken layers of Andrew's sexuality, but he at least knew better than to be offended by that dismissal.

He is so understanding. I love them. Can't believe I shipped Kevin and Andrew before

"Andrew? Last summer you made me a promise. I'm asking you to break it." "No," Andrew said without hesitation. "You said you'd stick with me if I kept Kevin south, but Kevin doesn't need me anymore. He chose us over the Ravens because as a whole we're finally worth his time. There's nothing else I can give you in exchange for your protection." "I will think of something." "I don't want you to," Neil said. "I need you to let me go." "Give me one good reason," Andrew said. "If I'm hiding behind you I'm still running," Neil said. "I don't want to end the year like this. I want to stand on my own two feet. Let me do that. None of this means anything if I don't."

"I will think of something" He loves him sm

After dinner with the upperclassmen Neil and Kevin headed back to the stadium for drills. It was the routine he was used to, with one critical addition. Neil went back to the dorm with Kevin and went down the hall as if going to his own room, but as soon as the door closed behind Kevin he made an about-face and went back to the stairwell. Andrew was waiting for him on the rooftop, usually with a cigarette in one hand and a bottle at his knee. The nights were still cool enough to warrant jackets but Andrew's body heat burned most of the chill away.

but night was where Neil had the most questions. They niggled at him when Andrew pinned him against chilly concrete and worked hot hands under his shirt. Being curious about Andrew wasn't anything new, but the gnawing importance of these answers was. Kissing Andrew changed things even if Neil knew it shouldn't.

He's falling in love!!!

"Longest stay was that year in Millport. Shortest was one week with my uncle."

Huh? You actually went to your family for help?!

"You have a problem," Andrew said, "wherein you only invest your time and energy into worthless pursuits." "This," Neil flicked his finger to indicate the two of them, "isn't worthless." "There is no 'this'. This is nothing." "And I am nothing," Neil prompted. When Andrew gestured confirmation, Neil said, "And as you've always said, you want nothing."

Gayyy

"That's a first," Neil said. "Do I get a prize for shutting you up?" "A quick death," Andrew said. "I've already decided where to hide your body." "Six feet under?" Neil guessed. "Stop talking," Andrew said, and kissed him.

They're so cute T-T

Neil reached behind Andrew and popped Kevin in the back of the head to shut him up. Matt choked on a laugh and tried unsuccessfully to pass it off as a cough. Kevin froze for a startled second, then sent Neil a scathing look. "No one wants to hear that right now," Neil said. "If you hit me again," Kevin started. Andrew cut in with a casual, "You'll what?" Kevin shut up but didn't look happy about it. Allison gestured to Dan. Neil saw it only in his peripheral vision, not enough to tell what she did, but when he glanced over there Dan was making a face at her friend. Matt slung an arm around Dan's shoulder and gave her a short squeeze. It could have been unrelated, but the smile Matt couldn't quite fight off was more smug than sympathetic. Neil looked to Renee to see if she understood, but he couldn't get any hints from her serene expression.

They all know about them huh

Every night since his real birthday he'd gotten a number texted to him. Today's sobering "0" had arrived during lunch.

I'm shaking

"It's a waste of time and money. They'll all lose. I've said all year I don't swing and I meant it. Kissing you doesn't make me look at any of them differently. The only one I'm interested in is you." "Don't say stupid things." "Stop me,"

Sweet

"I'm asking you to help us," Neil said. "Will you?" Andrew considered it a moment. "Not for free." "Anything," Neil promised, and stepped back to take his place in line again.

He was halfway to the door when his phone hummed. His first thought was it was a text, but his phone kept buzzing. He stopped to pull it out of his pocket and flipped it open. The screen lit up with the incoming number and Neil's stomach bottomed out. He didn't recognize the phone number, but he didn't have to. He knew that 443 area code. Baltimore was calling. "Don't run." The sound of his voice startled him. He hadn't meant to speak. His muscles screamed with barely restrained tension; he was braced to bolt but somehow he held his ground. Neil fought to relax, but his blood was pounding in his temples. He knew this wasn't his father calling. It couldn't be; it wouldn't be. It was Riko or one of Riko's lackeys playing a sick joke. Riko would know by now that the Foxes had made it to the fourth round. His attempt to rattle Neil with that countdown had failed. Neil knew that was the logical explanation, but it still took him until the fourth ring before he could answer. "Hello?" "Hello, Junior. Do you remember me?"