The King's Men (All for the Game, #3)

by Nora Sakavic

Denial wouldn't change his appearance back but he'd throw up if he saw his reflection again.

"I know what he's like, but I can't—" Kevin made a helpless gesture. "Riko was cruel but he needed me to succeed. We were the heirs of Exy; he hurt me but there were lines he would not cross until the end. It was different for Jean. It was worse. His father owed the Moriyamas a great deal. The master paid those debts in exchange for Jean's presence on our court. He was property, nothing more. You are the same in their eyes."

Andrew's expression was blank and his stare empty enough to put a knot in Neil's gut.

He straightened and turned to find Andrew had shifted closer. There was nowhere for Neil to stand except up against Andrew, but somehow Neil didn't mind. They'd been apart for seven weeks but Neil keenly remembered why he'd stayed. He remembered this unyielding, unquestioning weight that could hold him and all of his problems up without breaking a sweat. For the first time in months he could finally breathe again. It was such a relief it was frightening; Neil hadn't meant to lean on Andrew so much.

"Did I break my promise or were you keeping yours?" "Neither," Neil said.

"Riko said if I didn't, Dr. Proust would—" Andrew clapped a hand over his mouth, smothering the rest of his words, and Neil knew he'd failed.

"You spend all this time watching our backs," Neil said. "Who's watching yours? Don't say you are, because you and I both know you take shit care of yourself."

"Matt helped Aaron by doing that, not Andrew. You can't count a favor for one as a favor to both just because they're twins, you know. That's cheating."

agree

Jean hated his lot in life, but he was past the point where he could even think of fighting back. He wasn't a rebel; he was a survivor. He did whatever it took to get through the day.

Who had Andrew survived: Drake or himself?

"Tell your pet psycho to knock it off before he cripples someone." "I don't think he'll listen to me," Neil said. "You and I both know he will. Now get."

"You say 'want' so freely," Andrew said, "when I have told you a thousand times before I want nothing."

"Why does Roland think you're tying me down?"

When Drake left Andrew a concussed and bloody wreck in Columbia, the only thing that mattered to Andrew, the only person he needed to see, was Aaron. His own trauma was inconsequential; he'd cared about the blood splattered across Aaron's skin.

"Feeling," Andrew said at last. "Trying to remember fear, or trying to remember how to feel anything at all?"

You gave me a key and called it home."

crying v2

"This isn't yes. This is a nervous breakdown. I know the difference even if you don't." Andrew dug his thumb into his lower lip like he could erase the weight of Neil's mouth and fixed his stare on the horizon. "I won't be like them. I won't let you let me be."

crying v3, but now i'm having a nervous breakdown

"I don't because I've never been allowed to. The only thing I could think about growing up was surviving." Maybe that was why this was in that gray area of what was acceptable. It didn't matter that Andrew was a would-be sociopath or a man; the idea of Andrew was so intertwined with the idea of Neil's safety that this too was a means of self-preservation. "Letting someone in meant trusting them to not stab me in the back when terrible people came looking for me. I was too afraid to risk it, so it was easier to be alone and not think about it. But I trust you." "You shouldn't." "Says the man who stopped." Neil gave Andrew a few moments to respond before saying, "I don't understand it, and I don't know what I'm doing, but I don't want to ignore it just because it's new.

"Yes or no?" Andrew asked. "Yes," Neil said.

screaming

"Thank you," he finally said. He couldn't say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust, the honesty, and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. "You were amazing."

"You are a Fox," Andrew said, like it was that simple, and maybe it was.

"You aren't going anywhere," Andrew said: the same words, the same promise. He was speaking in English again, and Nathaniel understood why when he heard Andrew's next words. Andrew was playing instigator and inviting the Foxes to the fight. "You're staying with us. If they try to take you away they will lose."

"Who said 'please' that made you hate the word so much?" Andrew gazed at him in silence for a minute. "I did."

"Fuck him," Kevin said, sliding a little further down the door. "Fuck all of them. Waste of time to be angry. They should be afraid." "Hell hath no fury," Andrew said.

Before he stepped on Kevin tapped the butt of his racquet against the floor and passed his stick to his other hand. He strode to half-court head high and left-handed, and the crowd went wild.

Better than that bright future was what he already had: a court that would always be home, a family who'd never give up on him, and Andrew, who for once hadn't wasted their time denying that this thing between them might actually mean something to both of them. Neil hadn't even noticed the silence at first, too distracted by his dizzying thoughts. Now he couldn't help but smile and pull Andrew in. This was everything he wanted, everything he needed, and Neil was never letting go.