The King's Men (All for the Game, #3)

by Nora Sakavic

He told himself not to think about it right now, but his mouth still remembered the weight of Andrew's lips and that made his hair stand on end.

Whenever Andrew crossed the room, Neil's gaze followed. Every time Neil took his keys out of his pocket and saw the newest addition to his set he remembered Andrew's kiss.

It didn't matter that Andrew was a would-be sociopath or a man; the idea of Andrew was so intertwined with the idea of Neil's safety that this too was a means of self-preservation.

"What are you hoping for, coordinates?" "I'm hoping to know where the lines are before I cross them," Neil said, "but I'm open to drawing a map on you if you want to loan me a marker. That's not a bad idea."

How a man who viewed the world with such studied disconnect could kiss like this, Neil didn't know, but he wasn't going to complain.

He'd forgotten what body heat felt like. Everything about Andrew was hot, from the hands holding him down to the mouth steadily taking Neil apart. Neil finally understood why his mother thought this was so dangerous. This was distraction and indiscretion, avoidance and denial. It was letting his guard down, letting someone in, and taking comfort in something he shouldn't have and couldn't keep. Right now, Neil needed it too much to care.

Neil watched it so he wouldn't stare at Andrew, but if someone asked him later what it was about he wouldn't be able to tell them. He was sure he still felt Andrew's heartbeat on his skin when he went to bed a few hours later.

"This," Neil flicked his finger to indicate the two of them, "isn't worthless." "There is no 'this'. This is nothing." "And I am nothing," Neil prompted. When Andrew gestured confirmation, Neil said, "And as you've always said, you want nothing."

"Stop." "I'm not doing anything." "I told you not to look at me like that."

"I didn't say anything then because I knew I'd look out for only me when the world went to hell. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to go back for you."

Before getting up, though, he said, "I really want to know when Coach figured this out." "It isn't a 'this'," Andrew reminded him. Neil didn't roll his eyes, but it was a near thing. "I really want to know when Coach figured out that you want to kill me only ninety-three percent of the time."

Kissing you doesn't make me look at any of them differently. The only one I'm interested in is you." "Don't say stupid things."

"Thank you," he finally said. He couldn't say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust, the honesty, and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. "You were amazing."

He'd come to the Foxhole Court every inch a lie, but his friends made him into someone real.

He traced the outline of a key into his bloody, burnt palm with a shaky finger, closed his eyes, and wished Neil Josten goodbye.

"More than the state does," the older officer said. "Don't take it personally." "I have to," Nathaniel said, voice hoarse with pain and hatred. "It's my life."

"And you look like a strung-out whore."

DIVA TIL DEATH

"I've been a problem for nineteen years. I'm too tired to be one tonight. Just get me out of here."

"Look: these are the people I chose to stay with even knowing I couldn't stay for long. I picked them over my own safety. So give them back to me and I'll answer anything you ask."

"You're wrong," Nathaniel said. "They can't leave without Andrew, and Andrew won't go anywhere until he talks to me." "You don't know that." "Yes, I do."

Andrew's fist went back, but he didn't take the swing. Nathaniel knew it wasn't because that was the hand cuffed to Wymack; Andrew's arm actually shook with the effort it took to not knock Nathaniel's head off his neck.

"What did I tell you about playing the martyr card?" Andrew asked. "You said no one wanted it," Nathaniel said. "You didn't tell me to stop." "It was implied." "I'm stupid, remember? I need things spelled out." "Shut up." "Am I at ninety-four yet?" "You are at one hundred,"

It was Nathaniel's fault Andrew's self-control was in shreds, but it was also for his sake. Andrew's bottomless rage would never hurt Nathaniel, and that made all the difference in the world.

"Andrew, they want to take me away from here. They want to enroll me in the Witness Protection Program so my father's people can't find me. I don't want—" he started, but that wasn't fair. "If you tell me to leave, I'll go."

"You aren't going anywhere,"

Andrew tugged Nathaniel's hoodie and said in German, "Get rid of them before I kill them."

"I have to go," Andrew said. "I don't trust them to give you back."

Nathaniel watched until the hotel disappeared out the window, then looked to Andrew and asked in German, "Can I really be Neil again?" "I told Neil to stay," Andrew said. "Leave Nathaniel buried in Baltimore with his father."

He traced Andrew's key into his skin with a bandaged finger. "Neil Abram Josten," Neil murmured, and it felt like waking up from a bad dream.

He went limp and let Andrew pull him back upright. Looking at him was safer than facing the damage again, so Neil studied Andrew's profile and let Abby work.

Neil tried pulling the foil wrapper open and hissed through clenched teeth at the burn in his knuckles. Andrew took the bar from him, ripped it open in one easy swipe, and dumped it in Neil's waiting hands.

Neil studied Andrew's face until he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore.

Andrew gave him only a second before peeling the sleeves off his arms one at a time. Andrew pulled a garbage bag over each arm, tore the excess edges off, and taped the jagged ends to Neil's biceps. He tugged at both bags to check for any give and added another layer of tape to be sure.

Andrew watched him try twice, then pushed his hands aside and did it for him.

Neil leaned in to kiss him, needing to know if Andrew would lean away or push him back. Instead Andrew opened his mouth to Neil without hesitation and slid his hand up Neil's chest to his throat. Kissing hurt his injured cheeks but Neil fought to ignore that twinging pain.

Neil remembered too well what it was like to say goodbye. He remembered what it was like saying hello again.

Andrew tried to recover with a ground-out, "Your neck fetish is not attractive." "You like it," Neil said, unapologetic. "I like that you like it."

Andrew bit the question into the corner of Neil's jaw. "Yes or no?" "It's always yes with you," Neil said.

"If you have to keep asking because—I'll answer it as many times as you ask. But this is always going to be yes."

"Our game is over now, isn't it?" "It's still my turn," Andrew pointed out. "But after that?" Neil asked. "I have no secrets left to trade." "Come up with something else." "What would you take?" "What would you give me?" "Don't ask questions you already know the answer to," Neil said.

"One free question." "One?" Neil echoed. "The fewer you give me, the more you'll hate what I ask." "I hate everything about you anyway," Andrew said. "I won't notice."

In the end the cigarette was enough to tip the scales. Andrew smelled of cigarette smoke and whisky the night he gave Neil a key to his house and told him to stay.

Then Andrew was back, as calm and uncaring as always, and he caught Neil's wrist to push his hand to his side. He dug his fingers in before letting go, not quite hard enough to hurt, and said, "That's why." Neil stopped when Andrew told him to. It wasn't much, but it was more than enough.

Did you know I've never been skiing? I'd like to try it one day, though."

Depending on how you look at it, Neil's as much a violation of our deal as Katelyn was. Andrew could break our deal and let me go or break things off with Neil."

"Last I checked you hated me," Neil said against Andrew's mouth. "Everything about you," Andrew said. Neil pushed himself up a bit. "I'm not as stupid as you think I am." "And I'm not as smart as I thought I was," Andrew said. "I know better than to do this again. Perhaps it's the self-destructive streak in me?"

"I am not a pipe dream," Neil said. "I'm not going anywhere." "I didn't ask you." "Ask me," Neil insisted, "or stick around long enough to figure it out for yourself." "I'll get bored of you eventually."

"I won't be like them," Neil said. "I won't let you let me be." "One hundred and one," Andrew said, "going on one hundred and two."

"and my father comes to all of my games. That is enough."

"You're crazy," Neil said to Andrew in an undertone. "This is news to no one," Andrew said.