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To anyone who’s ever felt they didn’t deserve to be seen. I see you. I’m so happy you are here!
All I see is all my failures and insecurities. They’re all bouncing back at me, mocking me, taunting me.
“Hey.” He treads carefully. His footsteps are faint behind me. “What are—” “I was here first. Go away,” I harshly
“Please don’t do this,”
“Please don’t do this,” he repeats, and again, his words do nothing for me.
“I said go away,”
“No one is going to miss me.” “Don’t say that. They are.”
“My name is Daniel Garcia, but my friends call me Danny.” His words are soft, but friendly, laid-back almost as if he were talking to a friend. “And now you’re my friend, so call me Danny.”
“I’m not your friend,” I immediately retort. “I’ve made up my mind. Go away.” “I will, if you go with me.”
“And this upcoming year, I’m hoping to enter the MLB draft and it feels weird because that was our dream. To do it together.”
“I’m a shortstop for MCU,”
“We may not know each other, but I will miss you, and I won’t forget you,”
“You can’t miss someone you don’t know,” I angrily snap. “Then let me know you,” he counters determinedly. “I want to know you.”
“I don’t know what to…feel.” My voice cracks. “And I’m done trying to…understand…”
And so I do. I close my eyes and take purposeful steps toward the very edge of the cliff. But the fall never comes. Only arms—strong, thick, and weighted around my torso. Hauling and holding me back. Grounding me. Saving me.
“Please don’t go. Please don’t go. Please don’t go…” Daniel chants under his breath over and over again. “Please don’t go.”
“Please don’t go,” he delivers incessantly, vigorously, but delicately. “Please, please, please don’t go.” He doesn’t just hold me; he embraces me. His chest is firmly pressed against my back, and I realize then that the loud drumming isn’t coming from the water. It’s coming from him. It’s his heart that’s racing at a dangerous speed, all too rapidly, all too thunderous against me. “Please don’t go.”
Even when he was old enough to know he didn’t exist, he’d jokingly still say it. What I’d do to hear it again.
They choked and submerged me under the murky water, until I was practically drowning. But I stopped drowning once I saw her.
I’d never touch a girl without consent, but I’m sure this is the only time anyone would ever approve. Quickly, I wrap my arms around her and step back. I almost trip over my feet and the rocks because of how fast I move us from the edge, but I don’t stop until we’re far enough away.
The realization at how defeated her body feels, makes my eyes sting. I hold her, wishing I could take all her pain away. I hold her like my life depends on it. I’ll hold her until morning if I have to. I’ll keep holding her until I can’t any longer because how the fuck am I supposed to let go?
“Please, please, please don’t go.” My heart is close to imploding. It’s so goddamn loud, I can’t hear anything but the beating in my ears. “Please don’t go.”
“Let go!” she yells. I know I should, but I can’t. “Promise me you won’t jump,” I eventually say because it’s all I can muster.
“What did you do?” she shouts with anguish. “I didn’t ask you to save me! I didn’t want…” Her voice breaks, but she breathes heavy as if she were trying to mask her pain. “No, you didn’t, but I wasn’t going to—” I stop mid-sentence as she approaches me.
drop to mine, reaching for her. Despite knowing I shouldn’t touch her, I do anyway. I snake my arms around her, carefully pulling her to me, and hold her. She sobs uncontrollably into her palms, her body shaking aggressively against me.
“I’ve lost the courage to do it.” She sniffles, her voice vacant. “I promise I’m not going to jump.” Then she drops her head, staring up at the dark sky.
“Josefine.” “Josefine.”
“You don’t know me.”
“Let me get to know you,”
“There’s nothing to know.” “There’s always something to know.” “I promise there’s ...
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“Wh-what’s your favori...
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“Yellow.” Yellow. “Just yellow, or is there a particular shade of yellow?” “I’m not ...
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“I wish you would have let me go.” “I couldn’t.”
She could be pretending or actually be asleep—I don’t know, but I don’t disturb her. I let her be, but I stay awake and watch over her.
I spot what looks like a yellow Post-it note on the ground where I was lying.
Out of all the questions I could’ve asked, I asked for her favorite color. Way to go, dumbass.
“You’re stupid. I’d never kill myself.” I force a laugh. “You should seriously invest in a new phone.” “I know. I keep forgetting to.” He takes a pull of his beer. “So why are you here on New Year’s Eve? You know there’s a party at our house, right? Oh, and Amanda was looking for you.”
“Yeah, I saw you sneaking in those two girls in your room the other day.” I hear the smirk in his voice. “That wasn’t the other day; that was a few weeks ago.” He shrugs. “Same difference. Didn’t know you were into that kind of thing.”
“But if she doesn’t show up, you’re going to have to let it go because it’s not healthy. Call the police as many times as you want, but don’t keep coming because it’s only going to fuck with your head.” There’s a poignant sound in his voice but then he clears his throat and says, “Are we clear?”
He chuckles as he replies to her. “Sydney?” I ask because she also sends me pictures even though I’ve asked her not to. She, in fact, doesn’t care who sees. “Yeah, I didn’t ask for them, but I’m not going to deny them. You know, people are paying hundreds for stuff like this on OnlyFans and I’m getting them for free. I’m not going to be ungrateful.”
“Josefine. I’m sure she felt your care. Whether she’s here or…not, at least she knew someone cared enough to stop her. You could have walked away, but you didn’t. You stayed, and I’m sure that meant a lot to her.”
“I’ve already texted him. He’s on his way.” She lifts her phone, showing me the text message exchange between the two. My lips slightly twitch at the contact name: Favorite Dumbass. “You really didn’t have to—”
“Must be confusing yours with mine.” Angel smirks, winking at her. “Don’t start,” Daniel chides, his gaze straying to mine, but I look away. The crack in my chest deepens, but oddly enough, there’s no ache behind it. I don’t ponder over why. Instead, I hold the flashlight just like he instructed.
“Fine but I can’t promise there won’t be any arguing.” “It’ll just be a few minutes,”
“Doing what?” “Helping me. I’m not helpless,” she says as we walk side by side to the entrance of her house. “Never said you were.”
“Can I touch you?” Josefine stares, surprised, and takes a few steps back. “Why?” That sounded better in my head. “Because I need to make sure this is real,” I pathetically admit. “I need to make sure my mind isn’t playing games with me. I—I know this sounds bizarre, but please. I promise I won’t make it weird. I just need to touch you. I need to know I’m not dreaming, Josie.”
“Josie…” “Hmm?” Her eyes never leave mine. “I’m so happy you’re here.” “You wouldn’t let go.”
couldn’t and I wouldn’t.” “Did you not get my note?”
“I did.” “Did you have doubts?” “Nightmares.” “Didn’t mean to put you through that.” “I know.”
She’s alive, that’s what you wanted. You touched her, that’s what you needed. There’s nothing left between
