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“You’d still be you and that’s all that matters,” he softly says. Don’t stab yourself. Don’t stab yourself, I repeat because my heart is racing crazily fast.
“Do you really want to do that?” “I will if I have to, but I’ll do whatever you want me to do.” “I just want you to be safe.”
“Then it’s a good thing I have no plans this weekend. And it’s not an obligation because I want to be there with you.” My heart patters. “Okay.”
“I’m here because despite what you believe, you’re not a problem and you’re not broken. I’m not trying to fix you. I just want you to know that I’m here for you. As a friend, as a person, as whatever you want me to be. I’m here for you, Josefine. Whoever or whatever made you believe that is wrong.”
“You have to let me help you. It doesn’t matter if you get in the water or not. It’s important to know how to swim.” “I don’t have time to—” “But you have time for me?” My own question shocks me because I never thought I’d hear those words coming out of my mouth. “Yes.”
“Please let me teach you.”
“Okay, I’m all yours.”
“Well, I’m going to swim a bit.” I add some distance between us and walk over to the deep end. “I’ll be right here, watching you, Jos.”
The only thing that stands out, that wasn’t here last night is a Post-it note lying in the middle of the bed. When I pick it up and read it, my heart jolts.
Hola mijo como estás? Sé que estás bien ocupado, pero nomás quería saber cómo estás? Te extraño mucho y espero que estés bien
“Nothing to talk about? Does Josie ring a bell?” “We’re just friends.”
“You guys were dancing for almost an hour, and don’t act like you didn’t run to her house because she forgot something. What was it that she forgot again?”
“I’m not trying to upset or offend you, but I don’t want you to get hurt. Sometimes you have this savior complex thing and—” “Angel,” I clip. “This isn’t that. I’m just trying to be a friend.”
Dios, no tengo suficientes palabras para explicar qué tan hermosa es. “How’s your finger?”
I’ll definitely do better next time. “What’s the special occasion?” You being alive. You being here. You letting me in. You. I want to say all of this, but I don’t know how without making her feel uncomfortable.
Breathe. Calm down. She just chuckled. No big deal. No. Big. De—fuck, she chuckled. I did that.
I’m here for you. I see you. You’re not alone. I’m so happy you’re here, Jos!
“How do you go from dating and telling someone you love them to them breaking up with you because they need to focus on themselves to then dating your best friend?”
“Now that sounds cliché and so wrong. He’s Danny’s best friend and I practically grew up with him. I know everything about Angel, and nothing about it is good. Next.” “So, you’ve really never thought about it? Not to instigate anything but Angel’s hot.” “No, I’ve never thought about it because I don’t see him like that.” “You didn’t answer me.”
“Daniel? Daniel Garcia, my brother? That Daniel?” I nod, side-eyeing Vi because I don’t know what’s going on or why she sounds like she’s crashing out. “Yeah, he actually reached out to me first then changed his mind, but we managed to work things out,”
“I may not be the right person. I’m not good with people and what if—” “But you’re good with him, and that’s all that matters. He trusts you. Please help him.”
“The real question is who haven’t you fucked?” Kai snorts. “This isn’t about me, dumbass, and you have no room to talk,” Angel retorts.
“I don’t remember telling you that.” She looks into the bag, but I don’t miss the faint jerk of her lips.
“I’m sorry if I was…am a bitch. I know I come off abrasive and I’m not the most…bubbly. I mean, people call me Wednesday and—” “Josefine, look at me.”
“I don’t know who made you feel that way, but I don’t see you like that. I just see Josefine.”
Maybe it’s my sweaty palm that she feels or how tightly I’m gripping hers, but she squeezes my hand and stares at me so deeply, her eyes become engraved in my brain. “I got you,” she softly and earnestly says, but more than anything, it sounds like a promise and I believe her.
“I got you,” I gently say, keeping my gaze on his apprehensive one. “I promise, Danny.”
“Did you just call me Danny?” “Yes, but I think I like Garcia better.”
“No one else calls you that?” “No, I’m either Danny boy, Danny, Sparky, and occasionally when I get in trouble, Daniel Jesus Garcia.”
lips. “Cute.” “You called me cute; you can’t take it back.” “Are you always misinterpreting things? Because I can help you in the water, but I fear I won’t be able to help—” “I know exactly what you meant. Don’t deny it, Jos, you think I’m cute.” His eyes twinkle with mischief. “No, I think you’re hot, but if you prefer cute then…”
“No, no. I like hot. So, you think I’m hot?” “And shallow.”
“I hope you don’t regret this.” I pull my shirt off and toss it on the chaise. “My only regret will be not being able to help you.”
“Okay?” “You’re just…” He waves a hand down my chest. “God, I swear I’m never this awkward. Matter of fact, I’m—” “Spit it out, Garcia.” I tap my foot impatiently. “Hot.” He clenches his jaw again. “You’re hot and you’re wearing that, Jos. I just needed to get that off my chest. I’m not trying to make it weird, but you’ve got nice—”
“It’s a good thing I didn’t wear the bottoms that came with this.” I pull my shorts off and toss them with my shirt. He smiles, grabbing the neck of his shirt, and tugs it off. “Why’s that?”
“It’s a thong. If you’re flustered over breasts, I’d hate to see what my ass would do to you,”
“Do you want the truth or the lie?” Our eyes lock. My heart goes berserk. And my body burns so intensely, I feel like I’m lying on top of lava. “Pool. We should get in the pool,”
“Sorry, I’m…nervous.” “Don’t apologize. I promise I’m not going to do anything you’re not comfortable with,”
“Noah has an excellent dry sense of humor, and I happen to excel in reading it.” He grins, still following my lead as we go in a slow circle. “Noah? Noah Sosa?” “The one and only.” “Tell me about Noah.” “Why? Are you interested?”
“I tend to be a little bit of a control freak.” He hums. “I like people telling me what to do.” “No, I mean it. I like things a particular way.”
face. “I promise I’m never like this, but you just…” “I just what?” I hold my breath. “My brain short-circuits when I’m around you,” he honestly replies. I’m not sure what to say or how to feel about that. “Should I be offended or—” “No, God no. It’s hard to think when I’m looking at you.” “I—” A rumble and a strike of lightning in the distance disrupts me. “This sucks. I didn’t mean to waste your time. I’m sorry.” “Don’t be sorry. You didn’t waste my time.”
“Oh.” He looks genuinely surprised. “I hadn’t realized we moved. Wow. You…you did that.” “I didn’t do anything. That was all you,”
“We should really get out,” I urge and climb out, making a mental note to stop letting myself be so close to him. I’m not only struggling to think but to breathe.
“I wanted to. Pen says it’s my love language or whatever that’s called.” I make a mental note to get referred to a cardiologist. The excessive beats are getting out of control, which can’t be normal. “Did she now?”
“I hope this is okay.” “I…don’t know what to say. This really isn’t necessary.” I don’t tell him that I could hire a private chef if I wanted to, and that before Mom passed, we had one. “This is a lot. How much did you spend on all of this? I really need to pay you.”
“Grief is funny,”
“Finding the energy to…brush my teeth felt like such a big task. Even after all these years, that feeling is still there. Grief…never gets easier. It keeps evolving and all you can do is adapt to it because it’s always going to be there.”
“Grief is…funny,” I murmur, dropping my gaze. He tucks a finger underneath my chin, forcing me to look into his soft, cloud-like eyes. “Very.” He smiles tenderly and something about it feels like a caress to my soul. It ignites the light in my heart again. “You’re not alone.”
But this also feels different, like the bubble isn’t as self-destructive as it usually is. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, but I know that Daniel needs someone.
But I don’t let myself pull back and hide in my corner of darkness. Instead, I cup his cheek, rubbing slow, gentle circles. “You’re not alone, Daniel.” And I’ve never felt more seen. But does he feel seen? “I’m here,” I opt for saying instead of asking.
“I don’t have an emergency contact but—” “Put me down,”
