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All I see is all my failures and insecurities. They’re all bouncing back at me, mocking me, taunting me.
I have no desire or will to live and I’m okay with going out this way.
“Please don’t go. Please don’t go. Please don’t go…”
I’ll keep holding her until I can’t any longer because how the fuck am I supposed to let go?
That’s why I wanted to end it all.
“Josie…” “Hmm?”
“I’m so happy you’re here.” “You wouldn’t let go.”
“I couldn’t and I w...
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Well, it’s not the water itself I’m afraid of, but swimming in the deep.
“I want to meet the person who over inflated your ego. I need a word or two with them.” And I want to meet the person who fucked her over. I’ll have more than words with them.
“Why are you always so insistent?” “Because if I’m not, who will be?”
She is light, a blinding color that’s hard to ignore. Like a lighthouse guiding you home.
There’s this effervescent gleam about her. Like a moth to a flame, I can’t stop looking at her.
my favorite shade is whatever Josie wears.
I don’t know who gave up on her, but I know I won’t.
“So, we need to have alibis and shovels, and we need to make it quick. Also, we need to keep the blood to a minimum because you know that’s hard to get rid of, or at least it’s what I’ve seen in the shows.”
“We’re just friends.” A friend who happens to make me feel a little like my old self anytime I’m around her.
“What’s the special occasion?” You being alive. You being here. You letting me in. You.
I’m here for you. I see you. You’re not alone. I’m so happy you’re here, Jos!
“You’re the first person he’s ever willingly allowed to help. You have to help him, please.”
“Sto facendo di tutto per non baciarti in questo momento.”
“You got a praise kink I don’t know about?” “I don’t know, but I’m willing to find out.”
“I think I’m good. You’re a little needy for my taste,”
“Needy? Josefine Resendiz, I’m anything but needy.”
“Yeah, okay, Daniel Garcia.” “Don’t mistake my willingness for neediness because I’m more than welcome to show you just how needy I can make you.”
I really need you.
“You matter, Daniel.”
“I’m not going to stroke your ego, Garcia.” “But I want you to stroke it,”
My grumpy girl.
“I shouldn’t but I keep wondering why you haven’t kissed me yet.”
“I shouldn’t but I really want to touch you right now.”
“I’m not going to stop you.”
“Use me. Distract me. I don’t care what you do but use me.”
“Eat me or fuck off.”
“Want me to taste you?”
“Want me to lick it?”
“Want me to defile your soaking wet cunt? Is that what ...
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“It’s what I need. Do...
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“Say please.” “Daniel,”
“Don’t start. After all, you said I could use you. This isn’t about you, it’s about me. So make yourself useful.”
“You’re a fucking godsend.”
“You don’t like getting told you’re a good girl, Josie? You don’t want to hear that you’re doing a good job?”
“You won’t care to hear this, but I love how wet you are. I love how good you’re being for me right now. How you’ve got your legs spread for me, ready to get your pussy eaten. And I know you like—no you love this, Josie. You like being told you’re being a good girl, don’t you?”
“You’re fucking phenomenal. I love the way you listen. Love how responsive your body is to me.”
I’m a distraction to him. That’s what he needed. This meant nothing.
I can’t stop thinking about the things he shared with me. I wish I could do more for him, but I can barely figure out how to help myself. I hate myself.
“How we celebrate doesn’t matter, as long as I get to be with you.”
I must be dead because guys like him don’t exist.
“You’re safe, Josefine. I promise.”
It’s dangerous I know, but at this moment, I pretend like I am his and not a disintegrating mess.
