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“Please stay you. I like your soft heart.”
“My soft heart?”
“Yeah, you have this thing where you see the good in things. I don’t want tha...
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“Okay, I promise it...
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“Please don’t go,”
“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I don’t feel like I deserve it.” “I get that, but you do deserve it. Don’t let your mind trick you into feeling you’re not worthy of it because I know no one deserves it more than you.”
“You deserve good things, Daniel. All and every good thing, you deserve.”
“Annoyed? Baby, I want the whole universe to know you’re mine.”
“Oh, so you and me, we’re official now?” “This has always been official to me,”
“I l…like you. I like you a lot.”
“You look so pretty riding me like this,”
“I wish you could see yourself from this angle.”
“You made a mess on me. Look. Soaked right through, baby.”
Remember, your mouth was made for my cock. Just look at yourself; it’s already open and ready to taste. Lean in, baby, and suck.”
“I’m so fucking obssessed with you.” “Yeah?”
“Sooo…fucccking good. Jesus, Josie, keep doing that. Your tits are fucking phenomenal.” “I really want to do a good job,”
“Everything you do is beyond good. I don’t just mean this; I mean in everything. You are good, you are enough—as you are, and what you do—as you do it. It’s all good.”
“You’ve done so good, really, really good, but I don’t want to come on your face today. I really want you to ride me, but only if you want.”
I cry out, shaking my head for him to stop because I’m sensitive but the words leaving my mouth are the opposite because I’m screaming, “Yes! More! Don’t stop! Don’t fucking stop!”
I drift into a different universe as I squirt.
It’s the last day of March. A few months ago, that meant nothing to me—just another month passing by, but this time around, it’s different.
“Sometimes…I wish I was dead.”
“You deserve good things, Daniel. You deserve to be happy. I’m sorry it couldn’t be with me.”
He made himself miserable to make me happy.
“You deserve good things. You deserve to be happy.”
“You can. You have. I am happy with you. I want you. I need you, Josie. Believe me. Please.”
“You deserve good things.” “Please don’t give up on us.”
There is so much effort put into existing. What the fuck even is the point? Why do I keep trying?
I don’t feel happy, but I don’t feel empty either.
Feeling did nothing but make me realize how alone I am.
Do what you gotta do, but don’t give up on him.”
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Because someone has to be. You won’t; you’re too hard on yourself.”
“What’s the special occasion?”
“You’re the special occasion. That didn’t sound too corny, did it?”
“Just a little.”
“What’s the notebook for?” “For all the things I wanted to say to you but couldn’t while I was gone.”
“Being with you has made me the happiest and most peaceful person I’ve ever been in my life. Being with you felt like getting a restart in life. Being with you made me feel like me again.”
“Peace? I didn’t test your patience? Stress you out? Take a few years off your life? Your blood pressure must’ve been insane anytime you were around me.”
“No. You electrified my soul. This is the most awake I’ve ever mentally felt.”
“You sound like the girl I love.”
“You know, you are loving. Don’t ever feel like you’re not. I don’t need you to be loud about loving me or do big gestures to show me that you do. I know that you do, in the way you hold me, how you see me, how you let me in, how you accept me for me. You are loving, Josefine, and I’m privileged to be the one you choose to love.”
“I love you, Josefine.”
“I love you, Daniel.”
He crashes his lips to mine, and the entire world becomes clear and so fucking beautiful.
“Because those moments we shared are the essence of my existence.”
“This might sound silly, but I think he sent me to find you that night. I hate that that’s how it happened, but I’m really happy I found you, Josie.” “I wasn’t scared, but I contemplated it before jumping. Like I was waiting for something to happen,” I confess. “And then it did. You showed up.”
“I used to tell myself that this was the only cliff I never wanted to come back to,”
“You’re pregnant?” “I am. I found out—”