Orconomics (The Dark Profit Saga, #1)

by J. Zachary Pike

“This sculpture will apparently summon a celestial war cat from the metaphysical planes,” Scroot read from a card. “What can you make the cat do?” asked the party’s warrior, a burly man in a horned helm. “Let me see …” said Scroot, checking a scrawled note in the margin. “Ah, nothing. It is, after all, a cat. Still, it is valued at ten thousand giltin.”

“People always say that we must stand up for what we believe in.” “They’re not talkin’ to you!” barked Gorm. “They’re talkin’ to people who don’t believe in stupid things!

He was a firm believer that the best meals were made by holding dead things over a fire until they smelled good.

“These … these are priceless artifacts,” breathed Niln. “First rule of professional heroics, lad. Nothing’s priceless,”

“I’ll spare you the empty rhetoric of promising to let you live if you leave now,” shouted Heraldin. “But I can promise that if you and your army disperse, we probably won’t kill you today.” “I find it’s best not to taunt your foes when you’re outnumbered by at least a hundred to one,” hissed Jynn. The bard shrugged. “Life is better with bravado.”

“No, my friend! Not now! Death is the one wish that you can be certain will be granted someday. If you must seek your end, don’t make it today. Not when we need your help.”