The Left Behind Complete Set, Series 1-12

by Tim LaHaye

Should the death toll reach as high as 25 percent due to contaminated water and air, food shortages, and the like, as some have predicted, new directives that govern life from the womb to the tomb can bring this planet from the brink of death to a utopian state as regards physical health.”

Amanda looked at him. “Spoken like a true, loyal, employee,” she said. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. They stumbled and nearly tumbled when the escalator reached the bottom.

And that's why you don't have a full-blown makeout session on a moving escalator.

Buck embraced his new father-in-law and old friend like the brother he was.

Tim, I want you to re-read that sentence, then look me in the eye and tell me you want it published.

Rayford forced himself to stay up until a normal bedtime Saturday night. He, Buck, and Tsion went over and over Bruce’s material. More than once Rayford was moved to tears.

Counting this as two “character cries,” to be generous

“What would you have done had I been unable to get back?” Buck said, “I don’t know, but I can’t risk speaking in public. And certainly Tsion can’t.”

Buck: “Who would read at the funeral if you weren’t here, Rayford?” *Chloe, Loretta, and Amanda tap their toes in the corner* Buck (continuing): “There’s literally nobody else who could do it.”

They decided amongst themselves that Tsion should be able to come to New Hope Sunday morning, possibly with Loretta, as a guest who appeared to be an old friend. There was enough difference in their ages that, except for his Middle Eastern look, he might appear to be a son or a nephew.

“EXCEPT FOR HIS MIDDLE EASTERN LOOK” Oh, that’s funny, my page is stained, with... what’s this? Ah, yes: tears. The editor’s tears.

Amanda shyly raised her hand. “Excuse me, but I believe I am the senior member, if you’re talking age.” Rayford smiled. There was precious little levity anymore, and he appreciated her feeble attempts. “I know you’re the oldest, hon,” he said, “but I’ve been a believer longer. Probably by a week or so.”

“The only order of business tonight is voting in a new member. I think it’s obvious to all of us that God has provided a new leader and mentor in Dr. Ben-Judah.” Chloe spoke up. “We’re asking an awful lot of him, aren’t we? Are we sure he wants to live in this country? In this city?” “Where else could he go?” Buck asked. “I mean, it’s only fair to ask him rather than to make assumptions, I guess, but his options are limited.”

Fun fact: this scene inspired many of the Jedi council scenes in Star Warses 1-3. George Lucas did a phenomenal job conveying the absolutely thrilling nature of this original material.

Rayford thought everyone seemed encouraged.

I thought this line seemed bloated

he planned to be unabashedly evangelistic.

Buck, who so recently had thought Tsion looked younger than his forty-six years, now saw him weary and spent, grief etching his face.

“Devastated as I am over my own personal loss, I see the clear hand of God Almighty in guiding my steps. It was as if my blessed homeland were a saltshaker in his hand, and he upended it and shook me out across the desert and into the air. I landed right where he wants me.

I will gratefully accept your offer of shelter and provisions, and I look forward to all the Bible software Cameron has promised to put on the new computer.

Tsion seemed to collapse into his chair, and, as one, Rayford and the rest of the Tribulation Force turned and knelt before theirs.

Seemed

Buck gathered her in, and she nestled against his chest. Buck felt her relax and heard her deep, even breathing as she fell asleep minutes later. He lay awake another hour, staring at the ceiling.

Woah, woah, woah. This is getting a little too risqué for my taste.

He knew Chloe and Amanda had bonded and frequently worked together,

Too bad we didn’t see any of it

Rayford would not have known Verna if she was standing in front of him.

Nobody told Rayford about her sensible shoes?!

Rayford turned his back and heard the lid open and the movement of material. “All right, sir,” the director said. Bruce looked less alive and even more like the shell Rayford knew this body to be than he had under the shroud outside the demolished hospital where Rayford had found him. Whether it was the lighting, the passage of time, or his own grief and fatigue, Rayford did not know. This, he knew, was merely the earthly house of his dear friend. Bruce was gone. The likeness that lay here was just a reflection of the man he once was. Rayford thanked the director and headed back to the office.

No one here seemed even to whisper.

Seemed

People wept, but no one sobbed. At least not yet.

I’m being really generous here, and only counting “people” as one character weeping

They simply sat, most with heads bowed, some reading the brief program that included Bruce’s vital statistics.

Imagine going to a funeral, but the programs they hand out are just charts and graphs about the Antichrist and the end of the world

Buck was amazed by the verse someone, probably Loretta, ran along the bottom of the back page of the program. It read simply, “I know that my Redeemer lives.”

Much beauty. Very amaze.

At precisely ten o’clock, just the way (Buck thought) a pilot would do it, Rayford and one other elder emerged from the door at the side of the platform.

He led the congregation in two hymns sung so slowly and quietly and with such meaning that Buck could barely get the words out.

An entire congregation slowly whisper-singing hymns

Rayford was saying, “I want to tell you how I first met Bruce, because I know that many of you met him in much the same way. We were at the point of the greatest need in our lives, and Bruce had beat us to it by only a few hours.” Buck heard the story he had heard so many times before, of Rayford’s having been warned by his wife that the Rapture was coming. When he and Chloe had been left behind and Irene and Raymie had been taken, at the end of himself he had sought out the church where she had heard the message. Bruce Barnes had been the only person left on the staff, and Bruce knew exactly why. He became, in an instant, an unabashed convert and evangelist. Bruce had pleaded with Rayford and Chloe to hear his own testimony of losing his wife and three young children in the middle of the night. Rayford had been ready. Chloe had been skeptical. It would be a while before she came around. Bruce had provided them with a copy of a DVD his senior pastor had left behind for just this purpose. Rayford had been amazed that the pastor could have known in advance what he would be going through. He had explained from the Bible that all this had been predicted and then had been careful to explain the way of salvation. Rayford now took the time, as he had on so many occasions in Sunday school classes and testimony meetings, to go through that same simple plan.

We’re in act three, but still getting giant recap paragraphs like this one

Had you asked people on the street five minutes before the Rapture what Christians taught about God and heaven, nine in ten would have told you that the church expected them to live a good life, to do the best they could, to think of others, to be kind, to live in peace. It sounded so good, and yet it was so wrong. How far from the mark!

Yeah, Christians aren’t supposed to do any of those things! (*this highlight intentionally takes the passage out of context to demonstrate a contrary meaning for comedic effect DONT @ ME*)

You all know that the body is dead. It cannot hear. But Bruce,” he said, raising his eyes, “we thank you. We envy you. We know you are with Christ, which Paul the apostle says is ‘far better.’

I would love if Rayford did the finger quotes hand motion while he said that last part.

Loretta told her now-familiar story, of how she was the only one of more than a hundred blood relatives who was left behind at the Rapture.

Oh man, that must have taken a while during this funeral

His passion for souls continues beyond the grave.”

Rayford announced, “Stand if you would. Stretch, embrace a friend, greet someone.” People stood and stretched and shook hands and embraced, but few said anything.

That awkward moment that so many churches consider mandatory

We’ll take a couple of minutes’ break now, so feel free to leave if you need to.” Rayford backed away from the pulpit and sat. En masse, the congregation sat back down and looked expectantly at him.

Lolol

“Bruce continues: ‘I shared this with three close compatriots not long ago, and asked them to consider that there were four of us in the room. Was it possible that one of us would be gone in due time?

Oh, the irony!

there are yet to come two more seven-part judgments that will carry us through to the end of the seven-year Tribulation and the glorious appearing of Christ.

Hey, you didn’t capitalize “glorious appearing” that time. What gives?

Rayford was exhausted, but worse than that, he had gone over and over in his mind what he was about to share. It was not good news. He felt weak. He was hungry. He was enough in tune with his body to know he needed sugar.

Are you willing? Would you give your life for the sake of the gospel?” Rayford paused to take a breath and was startled when someone cried out, “I will!” Rayford didn’t know what to say. Suddenly, from another part of the sanctuary: “So will I!” Three or four others said the same in unison. Rayford choked back tears. It had been a rhetorical question.

Buck was furiously taking notes. This was not new to him, but he was so moved by Rayford’s passion and the idea of the earthquake being known as the wrath of the Lamb that he knew it had to be publicized to the world. Perhaps it would be his swan song, his death knell, but he was going to put in the Global Community Weekly that Christians were teaching of the coming “wrath of the Lamb.” It was one thing to predict an earthquake. Armchair scientists and clairvoyants had been doing that for years. But there was something about the psyche of the current world citizen that caused him or her to become enamored of catchphrases. What better catchphrase than one from the Word of God?

“We have loved this man, we have learned from this man, and now we have eulogized him.

Buck helped Chloe into the Range Rover, but before he could get around to the driver’s side, he was accosted by Verna Zee.

“I made it all right, Cameron. I also recognized Tsion Ben-Judah!” Buck fought to keep from covering her mouth with his hand.

Something might be wrong with Buck if he has to restrain himself from stuff like this every time he’s around Verna

“Verna, we’re going to have to go somewhere and talk about this.”

Red flags!

Buck bit his tongue to keep from saying she wasn’t enough of a writer to do justice to a story like Ben-Judah anyway.

I’m getting nervous for Verna’s safety at this rate

“So none of what you heard here today made any impact on you?” “Yes, it did. It made me wonder why I went soft on you all of a sudden. You people are wacko, Buck. I’m gonna need some compelling reason to keep quiet about you.” That sounded like extortion, but Buck also realized that Verna had apparently stayed for the entire service that morning. Something had to be working on her. Buck wanted to find out how she could relegate the prophecies of Revelation and what had happened in the world in the last twenty months or so to mere coincidence.

Rayford and the other elders had agreed there would be no more formality at the viewing. No prayer, no message, no eulogies, no nothing. Just a procession of people filing past the coffin and paying their last respects. Someone had suggested opening the fellowship hall for refreshments, but Rayford, having been tipped off by Buck, decided against it. A ribbon was draped across the stairway, from wall to wall, to keep everyone from going downstairs. A sign indicated the viewing would last from 4 to 6 p.m.

Why did we need this cutaway scene???

Donny Moore approached. “I’m sorry to bother you with a question right here,” Donny said, “but would you know where I could find Mr. Williams? He ordered some stuff from me, and I’ve got it for him.”

They’re computers, not drugs. Why so coy?

Carpathia had scheduled a meeting with Pontifex Maximus Peter Mathews, who had recently been named Supreme Pontiff of Enigma Babylon One World Faith, a conglomeration of all the religions in the world.

This is what happens when you name by committee.

Carpathia had made noises about headquartering Mathews and One World Faith in New Babylon, along with almost every other international organization.

Just make it a tax haven and they’ll come acrawling

With Carpathia now angling his way into the leadership of international relations committees, commissions on international harmony, and, most important, secret financial cooperatives, his motives for that murder became clear.

I almost fell asleep reading this sentence

Rayford let his mind wander to the good old days, when all he had to do was show up at O’Hare on time, fly his routes, and come home. Of course, he was not a believer then. Not the kind of husband and father he should have been. The good old days really hadn’t been so good at all.

One thing he had seen in Bruce’s printouts, and which had been corroborated by Tsion, was that he needed to start investing in gold. Cash would soon be meaningless.

Okay gramps

Rayford sat in a chair on wheels and rolled it close to Loretta. “Ma’am, there are some things we are not going to tell you, for your own good.” “Well,” she said, “what would you say if I told you I didn’t appreciate that very much?” “I can understand, Loretta—” “I’m not so sure you can, Captain Steele. I’ve had things kept from me all my life just because I was a polite, southern lady.” “A southern belle is more like it,” Rayford said. “Now you’re patronizin’ me, and I don’t appreciate that either.” Rayford was taken aback. “I’m sorry, Loretta, I meant no offense.” “Well, it offends me to have secrets kept from me.” Rayford leaned forward. “I’m quite serious about doing this for your own good. The fact is, someday, and I mean someday very soon, very high-placed officials may try to force you to tell them where Tsion is.” “And you think if I know where he is, I’ll crack.” “If you don’t know where he is, you can’t crack and don’t even have to worry about it.” Loretta pursed her lips and shook her head. “I know y’all are livin’ dangerous lives. I feel like I’ve risked a lot just by puttin’ you up. Now I’m only your landlady, is that it?” “Loretta, you’re one of the dearest people in the world to us, that’s who you are. We wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. That’s why, even though I know it offends you—and that’s the last thing I want to do—I’m not going to let you intimidate me into telling you where Tsion is. You’ll be able to communicate with him by phone, and we can commun...